- Date posted
- 52w ago
OCD is ruining my life
My mom wont let me go on medication, I don’t know what to do. I just want my mind to go quiet, everyone hates me and my boyfriend is also annoyed and made fun of my OCD. I just feel so alone
My mom wont let me go on medication, I don’t know what to do. I just want my mind to go quiet, everyone hates me and my boyfriend is also annoyed and made fun of my OCD. I just feel so alone
Girl if your man act like this just leave him. We are all here for you! I'd love to help you somehow, but i dont have any ideas how. You can vent anytime i'll listen to you :)
@Peanut._ Thanks girly🥺 This was the first time he made fun of my OCD, I started an argument which was my fault, but he made fun of a theme that I have and basically implied that I am crazy… I love him. Usually he has always been supportive and non judgmental, this was the first time, now I am scared that he has secretly been judging me the entire time :(
@Meowko Tell him if he cares he will research and learn about it. If not then leave him! You need someone who understands.
that's horrible that he said that to you!! so many people don't understand what we go through but your boyfriend should be the one to make you feel seen and not insane! that's incredibly dismissive. you don't deserve that and if i were you I'd be rethinking the relationship. as for your mom, I had to struggle with that a lot when I was a minor. what was helpful for me was walking her through what medical professionals recommended for treatment and all of the positives of medication on offical medical resource sites. if you have a therapist or psychiatrist, they can be a great person to help you have those conversations! they can listen to and reassure her fears a lot better than anyone else can, they do it every day
@zombye Thank you, I feel like I kind of deserved it, I thought he was lying to me and asked for reassurance, but I just always assume the worst. Thats when he made fun of my theme and subliminally called me crazy. I am a little sad though because I thought he would never judge me for my OCD. I do love him so much tho, he is the only one I have. I just talked to my mom about the medication, but she said I can do whatever I want but then said that they will make it worse and that I am gonna get addicted. She is not happy, I feel like everyone I love is just annoyed by me. I have no friends and my mom is upset and so is my boyfriend. I am sorry this is so much, thank you for your comment, I really appreciate you reading what I said
@Meowko that is absolutely not on you. he treated you like trash. it can suck when someone you love is dealing with OCD, but it's NEVER okay to say what he said to you. no matter how much you feel you "deserved" it. you deserve to be treated seriously and with respect. I'm glad your mother is letting you try medication. I'm sorry she's being so judgemental, but hopefully she'll turn around when she sees how much it's helping you. and no!! don't apologize. you're not too much. your feelings don't have to stay inside, they're allowed to take space! I'm so happy you're reaching out, it takes a lot of strength
Yes I completely get where you’re coming from, it took me a while to get through to my mum and still now I think she doesn’t fully understand it. Meds for me have been helpful and aren’t addictive at all. In combination with therapy it can really help! But you’re right, it does take a while, I’m still struggling and I’ve been on meds for a few years but it’s definitely a starting point!! I hope you start to feel better
@Flower152 Yes, I’m hoping that the meds with the combination of therapy will help me :( I just want to be normal for my boyfriend again and my mom also said I drag her down, I just want to be happy so I have lots of hope. Thank you for your comment :)
Girl I’m so sorry, no one should make you feel like you’re crazy, especially those close to you! You’re not crazy and you’re not alone. My mum was hesitant with meds at first too but it got to a point where I was so bad that meds were the only option of help. Have u spoke to her about the possibility of starting medication recently or is it definitely not an option? X
@Flower152 Thank you for your comment :) I did talk to her about it, but she thinks I am gonna depend on them and that I will get addicted, but I heard that prozac is not really addictive, it has been impacting my life so negatively, but she thinks I will get rid of OCD with Therapy, but I can’t just recover in a week, it will take months, and I don’t want to deal months with OCD symptoms :(( I think she doesn’t realize how hurtful OCD can be, she tries to understand, but she does not understand, I feel like only ppl WITH ocd can really understand my pain.
My ocd is ruining my relationship with my kids. Because of the intrusive thoughts I avoid being close to them, hugging or cuddling up to watch tv. My ocd is either telling me I wouldn’t care if harm came to them or it turns everything into something sexual or inappropriate. For example, my daughter wanted to show me how long her nails are so she started scratching my arm gently. It felt so nice and relaxing and I immediately panicked because I was scared the ocd would cause a groinal and I don’t ever, ever want a feeling like that connected with my child even though I know it’s the ocd causing it and not me i’d still feel horrible. I just want to be a normal loving affectionate mom and I can never be that for my kids because of ocd😪 I don’t see any other parents posting about going through this or commenting that they do and how they cope. I feel so alone and defeated.
Every day my ocd makes sure there’s a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead i’m stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughter’s hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know it’s just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldn’t even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself “I don’t understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeable” and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me i’m looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! That’s not what I meant but now the ocd won’t stop trying to make me believe that. I don’t ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I can’t live like this anymore.
Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:
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