What does “your emotions are valid” mean?

@Wolfram Yeah interesting perspective. It’s just that it doesn’t help when my parents told me “it’s your OCD” every time I’ve tried to express myself. That’s what I am used to hearing from everyone. Like even when I try to express a different perspective they don’t agree to, they’d say “it’s your OCD”. It gets tiring and old. But now I was just told I’m bipolar and BPD so it’s not just OCD. I told my parents and they literally just said “that’s OCD”. Ughhh…

@GermanCowboy Do you mind me asking why you were diagnosed with bipolar? I thought I had it too for ages but it was ocd ultimately. Also, what kind of things were you trying to express when you get slapped with the response "it's your ocd"?.

@Wolfram Sure. Here is why: 1. Unstable mood swings like an off and on switch. I have about 5 or 6 manic episodes on average per day. 2. Reactive anger and triggered by the slightest perceived criticism 3. Unstable relationships/ friends went no-contact 4. Reckless behavior that defies social norms (I do questionable things that someone with just OCD would have problems doing) 5. In my highs, I have an idealized self. I think I’m the next president of the world but then a trigger sets off a depressive episode. It happens in a mere 1 or 2 seconds. So the thing is that I’m able to recognize OCD for what it is. But these traits I mentioned are more common with people with BPD or bipolar 2. I have both of these apparently, as confirmed by a therapist this week. I was just merely trying to tell my parents about this diagnosis. But they dismissed it as “that’s your OCD” because “you always have a tendency to google symptoms and think you have all the known diseases”.

@GermanCowboy I understand. What are your ocd themes and compulsions? Do you believe you know them all?

@Wolfram I don’t claim to know 100% everything, but I have a pretty good understanding. My themes are: 1. Not being worthy enough and that I’m the worst person. That I’m a loser and a failure. Compulsion is constantly googling my name to see my reputation and in that way validating myself. It’s almost narcissistic to be honest. 2. Thinking I am a sexual predator or a pedophile… my compulsion is looking at actual pedophiles getting caught in sting operations and saying “I’m better than that.” 3. Financial worries and thinking about money. Compulsion is checking my bank account and hoarding money. 4. I caught COVID/RSV/Flu … compulsion is buying test kits and checking 5. That I am ugly/fat/disgusting and the compulsion is looking at the mirror and avoiding eating out. 6. Fear of rejection so I avoid applying for jobs or talking to people (rejection in general) I am at least now able to be self-aware enough to recognize the triggers and the themes. I think I have a good handle on 1 thru 5, as I can now choose not to google myself, not waste time watching Chris Hansen videos, making my purchases, accept uncertainty in perhaps catching a virus, and just accept who I am physically. But #6 is now very difficult to work on, because it’s just a fact of life that your social circle diminishes rapidly at a certain age, especially for men. I had my circle of friends, but we parted ways because we were always competing with each other and trying to one up each other. I just do what I can and talk to new people, even if I don’t get to know them much.

@GermanCowboy Can you think about what you were saying / doing before you had your last few moodswings? What triggered them?

@Wolfram The most recent one was triggered by the fear of losing my mom to her COPD caused by COVID. Unlike an OCD “what if?” attack, this was actually caused by traumatic events post-COVID. My mom almost died in the ICU because of COVID, but she thankfully survived. However, her lungs are now messed up. Another one was just by pure exhaustion. My energy was just drained from my manic episodes so I just now felt depressed.

@Nica Yeah, me neither. I mean, if you’re feeling “I wanna kill my ___” is it really a valid emotion? I think there should be nuances to this.

@Anonymous I mean, I’m just trying to understand because it just seems a bit far fetched in some cases. And not just fear, other emotions like hate and anger and jealousy. Because I’m borderline, I tend to experience these feelings more intensely. I think that just because I’m jealous of my friends who have a 6 figure salary, I shouldn’t automatically assume that it’s valid to feel that way. Maybe I am overthinking it, but that’s what I do on Friday nights. I got no one else to talk to.