Not sure anymore

I’m so afraid I’m a groomer- the thought is taking me on waves of torturous anxiety that I don’t believe I deserve to feel- that I’m a “monster” in my head I’m guilty till proven innocent. Lately I remembered a memory where I was playing roblox and being curious after watching a video I wanted to know of truly people were up to nefarious things in the game. Now my brain thinks I searched it to groom k*ds. I’m so shattered. So unclean and just so sick, I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. Can false memory include false memory of intentions? Could my intentions be screwed up in my memory?

Username: jpell0wjpell0w

Date posted: 47w ago

From what I’ve learned from having POCD and what it is when someone is an actual groomer or “P” is like night and day! Groomers have set plans to do bad things to vulnerable people. They also don’t see anything wrong with their thoughts or actions, having anxiety and dread from the thought is indicative of pure-o. But also remember that yes false memories can arise when you feel anxiety or distress especially with POCD or HOCD etc.

Username: IloveDieguitoIloveDieguito

Date posted: 35w ago

The reason you care so much, and the repulse you feel from this intrusive thoughts makes it clear that it goes against who you really are! False memory was a big one for me, and I know it can feel real and it's horrifying. But because you know you wouldn't do it , then you didn't. If you need more help please text : antonellastidd on snapchat. I'm open to talk and help always

Username: ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 8w ago

False Memory Crisis

I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.

Username: Holly117

Date posted: 8w ago

Past porn use “what if’s”

I’m really struggling right now. My mind is racing and I’m panicking about the content that I watched in the past because I don’t have a way to ‘prove’ that it was safe and consensual. I stupidly caved in and googled “what happens if an accidentally saw illegal porn” and I ended up making my anxiety so much worse. What if the images I saw in the past had underage people in them? Am I going to jail? Will my ip address be tracked? My brain is making all sorts of scenarios up and they feel so real. At this point I don’t know if I’m a bad person or not, I just feel like something terrible is about to happen. Although I know I’d never intentionally look for that kind of stuff there’s still a chance that I could have seen things without realising, and I actually don’t know what to do. I’m in total panic mode

Username: ocd1101

Date posted: 7w ago

I feel absolutely horrible!!

I had same Sex fantasies, sought that out in 🌽 before I knew what sexuality was, it’s related to a specific fetish and I used to talk to strangers online including men and I’m scared now what all of this means, I have HOCD, POCD, all sorts of thoughts but I don’t know if it’s my thoughts or my past which is reality. Why did I have those thoughts as a young boy? Why why why? Who am I? Do I even have OCD? What monster am I? I just want to end it all sometimes in all honesty. Not really but sure feels like it. I’m dying inside .

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