mom struggles

i have a very giving but emotionally draining mom. all of my siblings have struggled with her. when she came up to visit me, she had told me that she feels that my current boyfriend “isn’t the one for me.” meanwhile she knows barely anything about my life, my relationship, etc. she fell in love with my dad and that was the only relationship she’s had. she expects my relationship to be like one in a romance novel, when in reality me and my bf both struggle mentally. regardless of that, we still love each other beyond words and are extremely healthy considering the cards we’ve been dealt. ever since she’s shared her unwarranted opinion, i’ve had obsessive thoughts that she has a “motherly instinct” and that me and my bf aren’t meant to be. i’m so young, and if that were to be true, i always like finding things out on my own. i’m happy and content, and i wish she hadn’t said that, because now that consumes my thoughts. she’s a huge ally which helps with my SO-OCD, but after her saying she doesn’t think me and my bf will last, i wonder if she pictures me with the same sex. i don’t want to be with a girl, but what if that’s her instinct. i now worry that when i have SO-OCD triggers, that those girls are the ones my mom can see me with. it’s disturbing and unwanted.

Username: rodria49rodria49

Date posted: 37w ago

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Just remember what you said: your mom doesn’t know the inner-workings of your relationship. I had to talk to my mom and explain things that trigger me terribly. I asked her to please avoid these topics or try to remind me “hey sounds like this could be OCD taking, do you need a minute or to talk about something else?” And she’s been a saint. Continue setting boundaries my friend. You can do it!

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 36w ago

She gave you life, you own it. I've had my mother say something similar before and questioned why she would say something that rude. They have their own perspectives and views based on their own life experiences. You do what makes you happy, you're not harming anyone

Username: linds💕

Date posted: 3y ago

My soocd feels like it takes up everything in my life. The triggers are everywhere. I am a straight female, 18, and I have a wonderful boyfriend, my ROCD used to be my main theme but now it’s shifted to SOOCD. I’ve always since I was a little girl dreamt of having a “prince” and a family. And when I experienced bad ROCD I feared that when I start a family it wouldn’t be with my partner. But now with SOOCD whenever I think of my future of having a family I have intrusive thoughts about it being with a girl(really embarrassed to share that)..and I just don’t like it! I wish I didn’t have those intrusive thoughts. I’ve always loved imagining a future with my boyfriend and now I feel like OCD has just taken that over. Anyone else? It’s like the intrusive thoughts are almost instant. So annoying!! Sometimes I fear this will last forever😫even though I know it won’t.

Username: AnonymousOCD23

Date posted: 2y ago

TW: contains discussion of abuse

At this point, I don’t even know if it’s HOCD or really me and I’m just using OCD as a gateway. I can’t even recognize myself anymore. I was trying to do exposure by watching videos of women coming out to their husbands and instead of sitting with the anxiety, I just dug into the rabbit hole that is TikTok and looked into more videos. Then, I went into YouTube and saw different videos (again instead of choosing one because I couldn’t decide which video to do the exposure on - because I wanted to make sure whatever video I chose it would be the one that would work on ERP but it backfired). Anyways I am confused I don’t know what to do…I think I’m bisexual, however my OCD still likes to play onto that and say that I’m using it as a gateway from being a lesbian or that I’m supposed to be with a woman or that I’m not going to succeed in my marriage because I haven’t been with a woman. A little backstory, my mother has paranoid schizophrenia ( she got it from the military and it is the reason why she got discharged). Anywho, she would see and hear things that were not there (hallucinations). One of the many hallucinations would be “hearing revelations from God” My mom always thought to have this gift from God where she would say that He would tell her what would happen in the future or would tell her things about people. Anyways she used to always tell me God told her I was gay and whenever I had a crush on a boy she would say I was faking it. It went as far as her keeping my sister away from me because she said God told her I would do things to her. So my sister and I could barely see each other and Lord forbid my sister and I were alone together! If she looked away for a split second and saw my sister was next to me, she would hit me because God told her I did something I wasn’t supposed to. Even though I knew I didn’t hurt my sister, due to this trauma, I have grown with a lot of self trust issues - not counting the other traumas I went through at the hands of my mom (spiritual, physical, emotional)….and I was se*ually abused as a child by other people so it’s hard for me to be intimate…but OCD likes to use it as if it was a woman I would have no issue being intimate etc. I have a lot of spiritual trauma too as my mon usually said she had a vision that I was dead or that God told her my days were being counted because I was a bad person.

Username: dee012

Date posted: 1y ago

TW// rocd sex trauma

i have thoughts about incest, specifically from trauma, and i love my boyfriend and we are intimate. 99 percent of the time when i have intrusive thoughts during sex im able to move past them, but yesterday, my mother ended up texting me during it (TMI i know lol), which stressed me out, which caused more intrusive thoughts PLUS groinal responses, then she decided to go into the kitchen that’s RIGHT outside my room, causing more thoughts and feelings, while this was happening me and my bf were intimate in the moment and it felt as if the thoughts and feelings helped me finish, i was trying so hard NOT to think about them that i sortve thought about them on purpose???? it’s weird to explain… i told my bf about it since he knows about my ocd and he suggested we could take a break if it ever got that bad again, but it’s making me question myself and my morals i guess like now i feel like i really enjoy those thoughts and im just making excuses for myself. i feel so horrible and this is so haunting to me my ocd therapist doesn’t even know how to do erp for this according to her and i just feel so stuck

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mom struggles

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