I find myself aroused by athletic guys and skinny “twinkish” guys. It’s very specific. Wonder if could be due to wanting to be athletic and/or skinny growing up as I saw them being the “hot” ones who got girls.

I’m 19 my brother who is 16 showed me a video of one of his friends girlfriend and told me “isn’t she hot?” I feel like I did find her attractive and then I asked what her age was and he said 14. Why did I find her attractive if she’s that much younger than me? I’m also having trouble seeing girls in public I think are attractive but don’t know their age. They could be young and I still might find them attractive. Sometimes I force myself to look at these girls more than usual to really determine what their age is and if I find them attractive. I don’t stare intensely but it definitely feels strange doing it. Is this a problem that I can’t figure out if girls I find attractive are around my age? Or even if I know they are younger than me sometimes I might find them attractive? Why would I find them attractive if they’re too young for me?

i was scrolling through instagram and an ad suddenly appeared to me. they were all female t**nagers soccer players. but what my eyes saw first were thighs and legs and the worst part is not like i simply recognised impersonally an attractive look, i automatically perceived attractiveness and se&uality of the thighs. why did it happen to me? I dont want it. I don't desire it. So why was i able to find the legs attractive? When I saw the faces I knew I wasnt attracted, but what about the legs? I feel utterly defeated. I'm disgusted and traumatised by the fact that i perceived those legs and thighs attractively. i'm starting to feel like a ****.

There is one Athlete who is a month younger than me and he looks extremely young. Earlier this year I used to like him and his personality a lot but ever since I developed pocd, I keep getting scared over it. Add to that I just searched up on Twitter if finding him attractive is pedophilia or not and there was a tweet which was telling about 19 year old girls lusting over him when he was 15 years ago. I looked at his 15 year old pic thoroughly as a compulsion and he looked young in that but also beautiful/cute like any other teenage boy with pretty genes. I freaked out over thinking that he was beautiful and felt afraid that 'Was it sexual?' Then for a moment I tried to see in replies if anyone says that it is normal for a 19 year old to think a fifteen year old boy is beautiful and not pedophilia. Then I realized that why I was trying to justify a wrong for myself and I'm just so disturbed bcz why was I trying to justify it?