I’m not sure if this is part of ocd I constantly get thoughts of people I had a thing with in the past but I’m in a relationship that I’m happy in I have rocd and when me and my bf are bad is when it’s worse I’ll be going over what I had in the past And also feel like I oversexualise them I just feel like a bad person and terrible girlfriend
I struggle with this and have concluded it’s part of my obsessive nature. It also has to do with self esteem and approval.
@Buttercupz Just makes me confused and guilty I also just think I obsess over past things I’ve had because why do I constantly go back to them
@ambermayx I have been fantasizing with this person on and off even before I got with my partner of 4 years. I don’t want to leave my partner for them, but for some reason I’ve notice I want their approval and validation. I want to prove to them I’m not the person that they think I am. I also had sexual fantasies with this person too and it happened when I was bored or upset. It just made me feel good if that makes sense. I never thought of it much because it’s not something I acted and I’ve never approached the other person this way. What I enjoyed was the self esteem boosts I got and the validation. I feel extremely guilty and shameful as well because I love my partner but why do I have these?? Feels so wrong.
@Buttercupz omg this is how I am! I’ve been with my partner for about 3 years and see a future with him but constantly have sexual fantasies about 2 people I had a thing with before when I’m trying to fall asleep or just bored/upset too. 1 of the people I sometimes bump into regularly at the gym so it doesn’t help because I feel like I’m trying to get validation and attention from him and when he talks to me he’s flirty and then I’m flirty with him I feel so guilty and I know acting on it is so wrong - does this mean I’m a bad person?? I have told my partner everytime I have done it and I just don’t get why I’m like this and it makes me really nasty to myself after as I feel so guilty after because I have rocd so sometimes the feelings for my partner seem to be less strong but like I do wanna be with him so why does it constantly make me feel like I don’t ugh But yea I know what you mean it makes you feel good but then yea for me I just feel so guilty
@ambermayx I feel this 100%. I don’t think you are a bad person but I do think you need some boundaries. I think what you like is the validation and attention you get from these other people. Confessing is definitely part of OCD (I’ve done it too) and I’ve noticed having reoccurring fantasies like these is common for people with ocd too. So what triggers me are music (I’ve always fantasized even as a child and it’s about a lot of things). Apparently fantasizing a lot can be caused by neglect and low self esteem so we can start working on ourselves by practicing self love and compassion. Thoughts are just thoughts, actions are what matters! We love and respect our partners so let’s keep on loving and respecting them. Grass is greener where we water it.
@Buttercupz Yes because my partner asks me not to speak to him so I know I shouldn’t as I feel disrespectful but the guy like always gives me attention and is flirty so I think I like the validation and attention and it would be easier if he didn’t give that to me but it doesn’t help that I fantasise about it and then I’m overthinking like “does that mean I like him and want him” “does that mean I’m not meant to be with my partner” But I always always confess anything to my partner that happens even if I just say hi to him but I don’t like that I hurt him and it makes me harsh on myself so my intention is not to cheat on my partner and I don’t actually want to disrespect him or hurt him even though I know I am I’m not sure where mine comes from but I’m guessing it’s like an attention thing because I don’t have friends and stuff the only person I talk to and hang out with is my partner so wondered if it’s because of this Idk what’s wrong with me I just want to peacefully love and respect my partner without constantly causing problems
this is normal with rocd. it can latch on to literally anyyything and not being in a good spot with your partner can definitely worsen it. i’ve been there too recently and it’s so frustrating. remember that those thoughts don’t mean anything about you, who you are or the way you truly feel about your bf. take care of and be kind to yourself!!
@purpleturtle730 It’s just really hard because I feel like I’m obsessing over a person from my past and over sexualising them it’s making me feel terrible but feel like I can’t stop
I just don’t get why I’m constantly thinking of what I had with other people all the time like I seem to want their attention but I shouldn’t do that I feel like I’m just a bad person tbh
I have been battling ocd for over a year now and it likes to switch themes. Currently, it’s attacking my relationship with my girlfriend who I’ve been with since I was in high school over 10 years ago. It first began as an intense feeling that I have to leave or break up with her over dumb little things. Then it changed into a lot of guilt for having any thought about another girl. And the worse is feeling this intense guilt for past things I’ve done in the past while in this relationship. We were so young and I was teenager, but I often found myself watching porn, fantasizing about real other people in my life, and getting off to other girls that I may have known. When I was younger I didn’t think it was bad and that it was just a normal teen boy thing, but 10 years later I have so much guilt about it. And yes I’m with the same girl now. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I know I love this girl and I’m ready to propose to her soon. Anyway, these past mistakes I did when I was younger make me feel like a cheater and I can’t stop ruminating about it. I feel like I have to admit every detail and person I’ve ever had a bad thought about. I feel like if I propose to her and don’t tell her everything, that I’m a lair and didn’t give her the full picture. And the other day one of the girls I thought was hot when I was younger, came up in convo and I just went downhill. Now she knows I deal with OCD and she is very supportive, I’ve told her before that I did some bad things, but never all the details. And that’s all my brain keeps telling me to do. I have so much tightness in my chest and just want to be able to breathe again. But everyone says to not admit or it’ll reinforce the cycle, I’m just not sure how everyone else does that. And at the same time, maybe I am a cheater and just simply a bad person. Idk! I never cheated physically or anything like that, but my past mistakes feel like I did. But again I may just be a bad person! Please if anyone has advice or is dealing with similar things, I’d appreciate the help!
So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips
What do yall do when yall think of past partners or other people during intercourse with your current partner. I ended up confessing that to my partner and it’s damaging the relationship or making things really difficult. Having a really hard time trying to control the thoughts. I even think of other people while with my partner. Any advice or anyone with similar experience?? Please
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