guilt for partner

I cannot help but feel guilty for my partner having to deal with my changing emotions. The thought of they would be better off without me and I’d be better off alone were pretty high today. We got into a very silly fight today, leading to a lot of emotions and long conversation( ended up being a good convo, but also a hard one ). No matter the problem tho it sends me into a spiral about what I feel or if I even want this. I don’t mean to be like this, and I feel bad that my partner even has to put up with it. He has done his absolute best at understanding what I’m going through and 90% of the time works to talk me down - which no one has ever done -. It’s new to both of us. I just don’t know how to escape the guilt of him having to put up with my triggers and uncertainty… scared he will get fed up with it at some point and I don’t want to drag him through the mud due to my own issues: considering I also don’t know how to recognize or deal with it. just a rant or maybe if you have advice idek.. I assume some could relate

Username: ambermayxambermayx

Date posted: 34w ago

Hey you are not alone because I’ve been struggling with this I’ve been with my partner for 3 years and he is so understanding to me but I just feel so horrible that I’m like this I feel bad for him and have been worried before that’ll he won’t want to put up with it at some point because I feel like it’s almost everyday

Username: nova!nova!

Date posted: 34w ago

i relate to this so hard. my boyfriend is genuinely one of the sweetest, most understanding people i've ever met, and i feel awful for being so unstable all the time. i tend to get distant or irritable whenever i'm feeling uncertain about my feelings, and then i feel sooo guilty afterward because he didn't do anything to deserve that treatment :/ he never acts bitter that towards me, he's always super loving, so i just feel like he deserves better. i don't even understand why he loves me at this point

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 34w ago

@nova! Hey nova! I related so much to your response it brought tears to my eyes. I am sorry you are going through it, but I am proud of you for going through such a difficult time! I want to say, your boyfriend sees you for who you truly are, not who OCD tells you you are, and I am sure you have many great qualities your OCD tends to overlook. He loves you because you are you, and I hope you also love yourself beyond the OCD.

Username: Hopeful29Hopeful29

Date posted: 34w ago

Don't worry about it just the best you can do and be more kind with yourself

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 34w ago

I really relate to this❤️. Such a loving boyfriend and he puts up with so much when I’m uncertain all the time. Try to receive his love as a gift and find ways to love him in his weak areas too. You are not your OCD and he is not his own weakness.

Username: SoMi1907

Date posted: 4y ago

I feel sad and guilty everyday. I can't get out of it and to be honest, I don't even know if I want to. Everytime I feel a tiny bit better, the waves of sadness come crashing me down and I feel lost and alone again. I can't fight anymore, I don't know how. I feel that even if I confessed to my bf, I wouldn't stop feeling this way because then just another thing pops up which I probably did wrong. I don't know how to live with this constant guilt, it is sucking the life out of me. And if I try to take it with me or not take it seriously, I think "what if you are just using ocd to cover up that you really did a bad thing" I can't go on, I have no hope left and I feel so desperate

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Guilt

Hey friends, really rough day. I want to go to therapy but it feels like my therapists are afraid of me or don't understand me. They encourage me to just keep doing Exposure therapy but I know I'm not going to act on anything! I know I'm supposed to say "maybe maybe not" but that's not what's going on here! I feel guilty for THINKING these things! I opened up to a person the other day and they opened up about their anxiety and depression and wanted to tell them my struggles over the last 9 months but I know that my thoughts are gross and not real. I want to stop feeling guilt for my thoughts WITHOUT endorsing my thoughts. I can expose myself all I want, it doesn't make my thoughts good.

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Unsure what to do.

Here we go again. That’s all it feels like. Just one big circle. I was doing much better but it seems like it’s this endless rollercoaster. There was a time in my life where OCD didn’t exist. I used to be care free and (still have plenty of issues trying to resolve with therapy don’t get me wrong) but it wasn’t like this. I have met this person who is truly the love of my life. The support, love, and giving kind of relationship we have is unlike anything I’ve ever known or even thought truly existed… and I’m ruining it. Not only does this man congratulate my small wins with me with my contamination OCD but also tries to understand as much as he can just so he can support and be there for me better. Somehow, someway I have now developed another form or encountered a for of ROCD. I’m acknowledging another form of something I do desperately need to conquer snd remove from my life. I feel so defeated and depressed to the point I really don’t see the point anymore. I have a great man who deserves none of this headache to begin with.. this is my battle not his and yet he has taken on thsi and willingly no less. I have always been confident. There should be no reason for insecurities in myself or us. But they are here, right now. Could it be a normal fix? Can it be something worked on.. if so, what does the ERP look like? I want to get better for me… but for him and my family as well. I’m tired of being this way, this person who has so many issues that never end, never stop. I try really hard to control my emotions and thoughts and it’s exhausting. I’m just tired and done with my own self and I either need advice and hope or I just don’t know what I’ll be able to handle anymore

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guilt for partner

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