Relationship / age gap rumination

Hey, so I wanted to ask about something that is trying to bother me right now. I just thought to come on here before letting my mind ruminate over and over and over. So a year ago when I was 22, I did not have many people to talk to aside from my roommates who were either not home during the summer or just to themselves so I decided to try out Omegle. I talked to a few different people on there, but there’s two people in particular that kind of made me worried. There is this one girl I was talking to from Canada and she told me the story about her and her friends smoking weed, and I told her about how my female roommate used to sleep in my bed. But the way I told her that was by asking for her Instagram so I could DM her that rather than say it out loud because my roommate was in the next room. At some point during our conversation, she told me that she was 16, and I’m not even sure how we came about that but she told me. Before I continue, we were not flirting at all. We were just sharing stories, that was it. My intention was to not flirt at all with anyone because of age and the fact that they probably nowhere near me. Also, I just kind of thought it would be weird too. But now I can’t remember if she told me her age before I told her about my roommate or after I told her about my roommate, but I feel like it was before because I kind of felt like I should’ve unfollowed her after. And what made it worse is that somehow my roommate saw her Instagram handle and followed her as well. Another instance was when this girl was being very goofy and playing the character and I was joking back and I ended up being invited into their Instagram group chat, where I found out they were also 16 so without saying anything, I left the group chat. So my worries if this was inappropriate or was it just a conversation that I probably should’ve cut short. I’m not sure but it’s starting to worry me. And just for context, I have no idea that girl or anybody else since that day and it NEVER went sexual at all. So yeah, that’s the story

Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭

I'm so confused on what's appropriate and not "pedo" "groomer" "gross" when it comes to age gaps. I'm also unsure if age gaps are inherently weird and wrong. People will say 2-5 year age gaps are so weird and disgusting, that the older is much more mature than the younger. Especially with 18-21-year-olds. But I don't see that at all?? 18-23 blur together for me, and I also think once you're 18, your peers are basically 3-5 years. Like, y'all are basically the same and everything. I see my older brother and his friends, and they all range 18-25, even up to thirties with older guys form our church. None of them seem out of place and seem to be equal levels of maturity and peers, especially the younger ones. But then people will also mention how my brother is "older" (he's one the oldest in the young adult friend group at 23) but he's only a year or two older than them?? Anyways, I just turned 18 and by bff is about to turn 19. I also don't think it'd be weird for my brothers or any of their friends to date her at all (not that they want to, I'm just saying if they did) When it comes to bigger age gaps, I also think that sometimes it's just two people who love each other, y'know? When I see age gaps, I usually don't pay much attention to it, especially if they seem happy. I just think, good for them. Even if the person is like 18/19. But on top of that, I feel like people freak out when someone like 3+ years finds younger people attractive and feels attracted, and y'know, views them sexually and everything. Like porn, sex, fantasies, etc. But again, I see up to 5 years as definitely peers. And even beyond that I see people as peers. My brother and his friends are young, but they are adults and I see them as peers to the older men they hang out with. But anyways, I think someone at any age being sexually/physically attracted to 18-25yos is fairly normal? They are adults and done with puberty unlike underaged teens. So, I don't find it wrong or odd for someone to be like 25+ and attracted to 18-21yos and also view them sexually or have casual sex. I try to find answers, and the most common thing I see is that above 2 years before 25 is extremely weird and too different, and how someone like 21/22+ dating an 18yo is a pedo and too mature. But then I also see occasionally some people not seeing these things as weird, even thinking that as long as two people are 18+ it doesn't matter. I find that I fit into that category more, not seeing it as weird and a problem if two people are adults. But am I am wrong? Is it disgusting? Pedo? Is more than 2 years "too much" and weird and predatory?