Religious OCD - scared I said rejection thought!

I was telling God & Jesus “I would NEVER reject them”! I know I said it right because I made sure over and over again and not even kidding 5 minutes later I started freaking out “what if I said I reject them”! Then I would do it individually to each of them & make sure they know I would NEVER reject them then literally right afterwards doubts started creeping in making me doubt did I say it correctly! I’m still alittle freaked out but I told God & Jesus I know I said I would NEVER reject them but “if” I did say it wrong (which I think it’s OCD making me doubt myself) then I asked God & Jesus to please forgive me & they know what I meant! I guess my fear is what if I said “I rejected them” out loud instead of “I would NEVER reject them” does that make sense?! I’m pretty sure I said NEVER because I said it multiple times to make sure but i guess it’s that “just right” feeling. I just pray that if I did say it wrong God & Jesus forgive me because I would NEVER say that & if I did I pray they forgive me because I can’t live my life without them. Ughhh doesn’t this sound like OCD? I just pray God & Jesus still love me if I said the wrong thing because I can’t even imagine me saying that rejection thought out loud when I know, said and meant I would NEVER reject them! Am I okay? Will God & Jesus still love me and be with me if I accidentally said it wrong?! Has anyone gone through this?! Please any advice.

kaylaxo

Date posted: 1y

God and Jesus know your heart. Remember ocd attacks your values. So that means whatever ocd is telling you about you going against what you value, it’s really the opposite. It means you love God and Jesus and would never do that! Also, give yourself the grace and understanding that They do ☺️

Cammy123

Date posted: 1y

@Kaylaxo Thank you so much! My mind keeps questioning what if I said it out loud! Instead of saying “I would NEVER reject you” what if I said “I reject you”! I would NEVER say that but my mind keeps questioning. I love God & Jesus so much! It just breaks my heart to think “what if” I said it wrong. Do you think God & Jesus will forgive me?! I don’t want them to leave me! I keep praying for forgiveness if I said it and I’m scared. I would NEVER reject them! Will I be okay?

kaylaxo

Date posted: 1y

@Cammy123 @Cammy123 Hon, I don’t think there’s anything to forgive. Like I said They know your heart and know you wouldn’t say that. And let’s say on the off-chance you did accidentally say that, again it comes back to Them knowing your heart and knowing it was an accident. Why wouldn’t They forgive an accident? Something I remember pastor Mark saying that still helps me a lot is something to the effect of “Jesus didn’t die on the cross for you to sit around and analyze yourself all day”

Cammy123

Date posted: 1y

@Kaylaxo Thank you so much! Really! I cried and just felt panic because I was so scared. I know I don’t need to ask for forgiveness 20 times! It’s just I would NEVER want to say that out loud! To think what if I accidentally said it freaks me out! Which in a way is ridiculous because I know God has thick skin! He doesn’t get mad or offended easily! Also I remind myself God is Love! He made me because He loved me! Also I HAVE to remind myself there is nothing we can say, think or do that will make Him not love us! I do struggle with rejection thoughts, cussing thoughts & just blasphemous thoughts and I guess I try to prove them wrong out loud by saying “I would NEVER reject them!” Which only makes my OCD play on that and say are you sure you said that? Maybe you said “I reject them” instead! Which makes me spiral! Which I know I didn’t but it’s that “feeling” of not being sure! I know some people will purposefully say mean things out loud or reject them but deep down I feel like He would forgive them! Also that God & Jesus knew wayyyyy before I was born this would happen and that nothing surprises Him! Also that He still made me and Jesus died for me! I just feel so much shame but I’m trying to forgive myself and move forward because I probably didn’t even say the wrong thing but I can’t keep spinning on IF I did or didn’t! I know what you mean! I get scared what if they leave me or don’t love me but the fact that I’m even asking for forgiveness shows this isn’t me! That He knows and that IF I did say it He knows it wasn’t actually “me” because someone who means that wouldn’t ask/beg for forgiveness, cry and spiral about it. Your right!

kaylaxo

Date posted: 1y

If you struggle a lot with religious ocd I recommend watching pastor Mark DeJesus on YouTube. I used to struggle with the religious aspect of ocd and he helped me a lot! He also talks about ocd in general as he has battled a lot of aspects himself as well and has helped me with those too

jfia16

Date posted: 1y

Going to check this out. Thank you!

kaylaxo

Date posted: 1y

@jfia16 So glad you are! You’re welcome!

Anonymoususe...

Date posted: 19w

Bad Prayer

TW Religious OCD TW Racism I’ll try to make this somewhat quick, but there is some doubt to this memory, but I’ll say what I know. For one, I have had an obsession with doing bad prayers. Secondly, this is not just normal intrusive thoughts. My main fear was a racist prayer. Unfortunately, my brain found the perfect pathway for this. I was so afraid of a prayer being racist, that if all people of color suddenly died, I would feel so guilty, that I could attempt suicide (I was already suicidal). Unfortunately, this was something I could selfishly want, because of the suicide aspect. I feel like the best thing I can compare it to, is someone who is suicidal, who selfishly wouldn’t be upset if a meteor hit earth or something, cause they wouldn’t be at fault and they wouldn’t die. Or someone who is suicidal who selfishly would be ok with World War 3, because it could mean that they died, and there’s nothing for them to personally feel guilty about if it wasn’t their fault. My brain one day came up with something. If I prayed for something bad to happen, it would be my fault. But what if in the conditions of the prayer, for it to happen, I was magically at NO fault at all. Basically like the meteor scenario. What if everything was completely devoid of guilt. All of the sudden I feel like I became ok with it, prayed for it, and IMMEDIATELY regretted it, but knew what I was doing when I did it. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but I’m pretty sure I quickly prayed for this, and then regretted it. The issue is, I don’t know how much influence ocd had over me when I did it. I mean, ocd did have an influence in putting together that scenario at first. It put together the WORST possible scenario in a way I could mean it could think of. I can’t completely remember how it happened. If it did happen, and it was my fault, how should I approach it? I feel horrible about it. Unfortunately, I am a bit worried it could happen again. Is this something I should forgive myself for? I know it’s terrible. Another option my mind presents is making myself feel as awful as possible consistently. Unfortunately, that leads to more issues. I’m very confused about this whole scenario, and I don’t think it is all intrusive thoughts. I do believe that ocd deliberately set me up in a scenario where I could pray for something awful, but I also believe I prayed for it and meant it when I did.

Starve_The M...

Date posted: 17w

To my Christian brothers and sisters

Hi I have a question. I love jesus he changed my life and Made me a better person but my ocd loves to confuse me so I have a problem where I remember something in the past and I repented ofc but not it makes me question my intentions and my ocd always puts the are you lying to God card which makes me super scared and then doubt occurs and I'm so exhausted I misinterpret a lot like the voice of God I keep hearing tell the truth and repent now that's it all Good if it were true see ik I'm telling the truth not because of some feeling it's because ocd's version is so ridiculous but It feels soo real I just Want go to God without feeling this fear if I'm lying to him and I fear if somehow I'm wrong. So much anxiety and questions like what if that is gods voice what if I'm wrong pls pray for me and I see videos and I'm scared if that video was sent to me by God telling me to "tell the truth" I say that because my ocd is causing me to doubt the truth being that ocd is wrong

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Religious OCD

Hey everyone, I need help. I woke up just now with the worst thoughts ever. Thoughts that GOD leaving me, thoughts that I like the bad guy, and thoughts that are worse than anything that I have ever thought of before. I realize that I am asking for reassurance, but I am so scared that I mean these thoughts and I just want GOD to keep me and my family safe and know that I don’t mean these thoughts… please help

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Religious OCD - scared I said rejection thought!

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