books for ocd

So for as long as I’ve been alive I’ve loved horror/ thriller movies and books. I really only enjoy reading thriller books. Since my harm ocd hit I have slowly started back reading thriller again, but I have to check for triggers before each one I read. There’s been a few books that I was really loving that I had to stop reading because something that would trigger my ocd would come up ( my theme is going crazy becoming dangerous , schizophrenia etc ) so if a character in a book starts hearing voices or something, I get so anxious. I want to be able to read and watch horror / thrillers again. Do I simply need to just continue reading / watching and sit with the anxiety?

I have tried a few different kinds of antidepressants over the years, but it's always been hard to find one that works well for OCD and doesn't have horrible side effects. Does anybody have any recommendations of one that worked really well for depression and OCD??

I see a lot of “general” advice on here from people who have conquered their OCD, and i dont often find that advice helpful. How do i identify compulsion when OCD is bad? Its a whirlwind. Nothing makes sense. I’m pretty sure i have something in addition to OCD but modern science is not good enough yet to let me know. At times like this I need medication. I am weening off Zoloft to try Clomipramine or maybe Vyvanse. I’ve been on Zoloft for 6+ years so decreasing is causing quite an uptick in symptoms. I feel very impulsive lately, i say and post things i dont mean to and it causes interpersonal issues and doesn’t represent who i really am. Is it impulsion or compulsion? I’ve asked this before and only got textbook answers, not personal anecdotes (what im looking for). What does ADHD and RSD feel like? I think i have both ADHD and OCD, even though scientific models show these having opposite activity in the same areas of the brain, leading one to wonder: how can someone have both conditions simultaneously? Science contradicts this but also acknowledges a large population of people who have comorbid OCD and ADHD.