When your OCD says you SA'ed a girl online, and you cant even remember all the details fully to dispute these intrusive thoughts, it genuinely hurts because I dont even know what to trust within myself...
As some one with pure ocd , it is hard but you kind of have to learn that the ocd thoughts don’t mean anything there are just intrusive thoughts. I am sorry your are feeling unsure if you can trust your self.  When I was younger, I felt huge distrust from my intrusive thoughts, because I thought I was going to hurt my family because of them before I know I had pure ocd. I faceed my fears by hanging out with my family and that helped me get rid of a lot of the distrust I was feeling. I had to learn not to feel shame or that my OCD thoughts are not part of my character, and when I excepted that I felt a lot better. I hope this was helpful. Stay strong
@Brooke cookie Thank you... ive posted about my situation, but its genuinely been such a tough time...
@Givenup I know ocd can be very hard very stressful and painful. I have had years of pain from it myself. While it is slow if work you on your ocd you can heal slowly.
@Brooke cookie Over half a year ago, This girl wanted me to roleplay a CNC scene with her and to not ask the next time we chatted online I believe... (i cant remember if this happened or not) When we started doing that the next time we met, she suddenly left the chat. So Im scared on if consent wasnt given. I remember her saying that she got booted the next time I talked to her, and asking if she wanted to continue where we left off, but im not too sure and I cant recollect it... as a part of the roleplay, she would say things like "stop" and I think she roleplayed her movements but I dont remember if this was a part of the roleplay, or her genuinely telling me to stop... my friend on the explicit chat site says that since its been over 6 months, that I most likely didnt do anything to hurt her and that I should move on, but my intrusive thoughts keep saying that I violated this womans consent, when a womans consent is the most important thing to me... my harm ocd keeps saying I SA'ed the woman and intrusive thoughts of her saying this and I just throw up every time...
@Givenup From what I understand from what you told me it seems like she likes that kind of interaction so you should be good. But unless you really enjoy that kind of thing with OCD that would drive me nuts, I would not want someone to give me mixed signals or act like I was hurting then. I would say no thanks I don’t feel comfortable, so I would have worry about it. Either way your fine , but that can be risky if the girl later says she did not want that. 
@Brooke cookie I dont remember everything fully... and it makes me doubt if im even remembering everything properly... im genuinely triggered... i dont ever want to violate a womans consent in any way... its one of my biggest fears
@Brooke cookie And I personally dont enjoy CNC at all...
@Givenup That’s your OCD making you think that you secretly did something if she wanted to leave since it’s online she could just left. You sound like I good person,I hope you find someone that makes you happy and two have a good healthy relationship
@Brooke cookie I want to be a good person... thats all I can ask for... just be with a beautiful woman my age, and live a normal happy life...
@Givenup I see ,attractive person talked you in doing something you didn’t wanna do. Been there dated guy who talk to me in the wearing more scandalous outfits that I would’ve liked to of been wearing. i’ve learned that if people ask you to do stuff, you don’t want to do no matter how attractive they are just say no.
@Givenup You can find somebody just keep trying. You might want to try a different approach than those online dating though just from personal experience, you only get kind of interesting people on those.
Look, the best thing for you to do is to ignore it even if it’s hard you don’t know if it’s false memories or not so it’s best to leave it be and learn from ur mistake or mistakes we’re human we learn and grow
@d3adpan_ I hope i havent SA'ed a girl online... thats the last thing I want to do...
@Givenup If you know that’s not something you will do then I think ur good! Now obviously I’m not you who’s feeling anxiety and reassurance seeking but srsly dude listen to ur heart and ur morals! Don’t let ocd screw over!
@d3adpan_ Screw you over!*
Hey, I suffer from harm ocd and I feel as if it’s non stop everything I do everyday I believe I killed someone I believe it’s harm ocd and false memory but like today I went to the store and saw a older lady and my head thinks of images of me pushing them or killing then and right after that thought I feel as if I done it then the rest of the day I ruminate replaying everything. I know erp and I should just accept the thought and let it go but it’s not easy and I feel as if i really hurt or killed someone and I don’t want to go to jail for something I don’t want to do . Any tips would be appreciated I don’t know how to accept and move on when it feels so real that I did something!
Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...
I was on literotica (an 28+ erotic chat site) and was about to sext with her... she was getting high and wasted... before she stopped responding... i was checking to see if she could continue by explicitly flirting, but when she couldnt respond on the chat I stopped and deleted the chat... she then chatted with me again on the site saying she didnt remember we were sexting... when I asked her about it days later, she said "it might've been serious for you, but it wasnt for me..." My Harm OCD is saying that I unintentionally harmed her through this online chat... Im so so scared...
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
