Im sorry if this will stress people out…

Hi I am new to this app and didnt know what else to turn to. My parents dont understand me at all.. my ocd or anything I go thru. I have almost 2 years clean from drugs, have extreme anxiety, and pretty severe OCD and trich. I am just having a really hard and traumatizing week. Two nights ago my freezer caught on fire( which I didnt even realize was a thing) and there was no one there to help me. I was frozen in shock and I just switched the breakers off until my apartment maintenece could help in the morning. Of course I didnt sleep bc I just kept thinking it was still going to catch fire. The power has gone off 3 times this week.. once while I had a cleaning service here to help me clean my apartment( which is a hard enough exposure for me anyway, to let other people in touching all my things especially during covid). The last thing is I have been worried for a while that there is something physically wrong with me (my dad is a physician and I have physical symptoms to back up this theory). I wont share my symptoms cuz that could take a while but as someone with Ocd you think are all of these symptoms real/fake and related/ unrelated issues that I should or shouldnt worry about. Well my concierge doctor called me with intensive lab results they did as a result of my worrying and it turns out my ANA is pretty high and she wants to refer me to a rheumatologist. ANA being high is the first sign of an autoimmune disease. She was trying to write my fatigue off as sleep apnea but they did find something pretty significant in my bloodwork. Im just really scared. This is too much for me to deal with and worry about. I just feel like shutting down, I cant deal with this all by myself. Any advice or just support? I do have an Ocd therapist, have been thru exposure therapy, and currently take meds for it.

Please help me. I have not used this app in months, but I am actually lost. 1.) I have been BEGGING to go back to therapy for my OCD for months. (Around five to six months now) My mom always tells me that she’s doing the best she can or genuinely gets annoyed (it’s like she gets mad when I try to bring it up) the thing is I would understand if she didn’t have the money for me to go back to therapy, but she constant buys food that is the worth of the bill she needs to pay to let me go back into therapy. So basically, she owes my therapist 100 dollars. It’s been six months. She makes a lot of money. She just doesn’t think my OCD is important. 2.) Everything in my life is triggering. It’s to the point where the thought of not doing a compulsion, makes me break down. I try erp, but I don’t think I can without a therapist. I’ve used this app to help me with erp. I need professional help. I feel as if I won’t get help for months ahead. 3.) I am really isolated, and I don’t have a way to socially have contact with irl people. I have a boyfriend and he is pretty much the only person I see outside of family. I’ve been homeschooled for years, so I’ve lost touch with the people I was friends with in school. If I do want to see or do anything (even going to the store for something and sometimes seeing my bf I have to DEEP clean the whole house) the isolation has caused me to not even be able to look at my family in the eyes. I feel so crippled and stuck. What should I do? I’m thinking about telling my mom I need to go to hospital for a long stay. The last time I did that the bill was 12,000, and it was a very traumatic stay, but I am so mentally ill from my OCD. I feel like every option I have is something I’ve tried. Merry Christmas btw if you actually read this. Also you don’t have to pity me or reassure me. If you’d like to comment, please give me advice on how to approach this situation.

I kinda am really alone with this one. I got diagnosed 3 years ago and never went back to therapy. I don't really want help... I'm just here to kinda learn about other people. I've never met someone who has ocd like I do. You may think "they all say that" but I just never have. I got diagnosed when I told my therapist my obsession with gore/nercophilia. I can't believe I'm even talking about it right now. It makes me feel sick. I can't stand it. My mom has undiagnosed bpd. I may be wrong about this, I'm not a professional, but she has all the symptoms. Every single small thing about it too she has, and so do I. Having ocd along with it is even harder. I researched on having both and it's not common but also not impossible? If not, then if I don't have both, I would fit under the ocd title more than ocd. My point is, I feel alone. I just want someone to read this... I hate to admit it, but I want some sympathy. My partner has been really bad to me lately and I can't leave them cause I love them too much. So I don't beg him for comfort cause I know they might leave if I do. I feel like a burden. Please don't comment on that. Actually, are their even comments on this thing? Embarrassing if not..