How to live with the anticipation?

I have a phobia of a specific sickness, and although I’ve come to realize that the actual experience of it isn’t so bad, the anticipation is what really destroys me. Always wondering if and when. I just can’t stop :( does anyone know how to deal with this? I do my ERP but sometimes it’s like I go mad with the realization that my fear could really happen. I know that if it weren’t this, it would be something else. I mean, it has been, over and over again. And it’s always the same fear of anticipation. Any support or tips? Thanks.

Username: Writergirl73Writergirl73

Date posted: 29w ago

We might be dealing with the same phobia. At least it sounds like it. I'm not sure I have any advice, but I can offer support and the knowledge that you're not the only one. That probably doesn't help, but for years I had no idea anyone else felt this way. It made me feel like a freak. You're not alone. I started ERP not too long ago and I'm struggling with it. I'm actively avoiding it because obviously it brings up the fear. I've been trying to avoid that for years 😂

Username: clmcstlclmcstl

Date posted: 29w ago

@Writergirl73 Yeah I didn’t want to say the phobia so as to not trigger anyone, but I think if you have the phobia, you know it when you see it. Something my doctor tells me is to follow the thought through. What is on the other side? And if that is scary, then what is on the other side of that? I’ve told people close to me that it’s comparable to a fear of dying. I wish I knew how to not feel that way.

Username: HeartMamaHeartMama

Date posted: 29w ago

I can absolutely relate, I have a deep fear of a virus that I have been terrified of my little boy getting. You are not a freak and not alone, it's tough, because illness is a real part of life. I've just started my journey, but I can already feel myself accepting that yes, my family could get it, but I will more likely lose their company and respect and a place in their life if I continue to allow it to rule us. How long have you been doing ERP for it? It is difficult to learn to accept that we have very little control in life but that we can control our happiness and our freedom from ocd. Have you thought about what you could do if you weren't afraid of it? Have you thought about what you might lose if you continue to allow it power over you? I have some scripts from a Johnathan Grayson book that are really helping me take power away from the thoughts, not that it has removed the fear, but it's helping me have strength. I hope you can begin to find peace from the ocd in embracing the unknown too.

Username: clmcstlclmcstl

Date posted: 29w ago

@HeartMama Thank you so much for this. You seem like a really kind person and a great mom. Something my own mom tells me is that thing I fear is a small part of a much bigger life, and that helps me to remember, and that I am strong enough, that you are too, to not only face the uncertainty, but face the challenge of overcoming sickness. Our bodies are kind and loving things, and they take care of us, we can trust them and ourselves to show up if the time ever does come, even if that’s hard to believe sometimes. I wish you all the best. Thank you.

Username: HeartMamaHeartMama

Date posted: 29w ago

@clamcastle Aawww, look at that amazing attitude, I can tell your going to beat this too. Your Mom sounds very wise. One thing I heard today that I thought was so inspiring is that once you can beat ocd, you won't be like a "normal" person, you'll be better than them, because you will be able to overcome anything. It gives me hope and it give me strength. I wish you the very best on your journey!

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Hi guys! Was wanting some tips on ERP. I am just getting started & trying to read articles about being codependent, happy engagement stories but my mind when I try to sit with “maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Life is uncertain.” Will come up with more rabbit hole thoughts of I’m crazy have every mental illness out there etc. does anyone have tips for experiencing all day anxiety/panic attacks & fear of doing an exposure wrong? I am scared I won’t get better bc I’m not doing it right.

Username: Twelve Squir...

Date posted: 2y ago

ERP Help

I need a different perspective on this. I feel like I'm being run through the ringer. I'm doing what I can to avoid reassurance and not avoid triggers but I get triggered every day. I'm trying so hard to sit with the panic and the horror but it's so hard. It gets to the point I feel physically sick. Is there anything that I can do to help with this? I feel alone. I don't feel strong, I feel like a punching bag. Why is this so hard to master? I really want to know it gets easier. I've been suffering from POCD that has evolved and gotten worse and worse over the past eight months that has been torturing me multiple times on a daily basis and I feel like I'm drowning. I want to run away and hide because my life feel like it's seconds from being ruined. Please, please tell me this gets easier. That this ERP therapy will stop making me feel like I'm dying. The small moments of victory feel so brief only for me to get hit with another wave. There is so much uncertainty over such a horrific thing I feel ill. I feel afraid to be alone with my mind. Please if anyone out there can please give me tips on how to handle ERP. One moment I think I'm finally beating this thing and the next it's got me pinned and I'm terrified my life will be ruined. I want my peace back, I need help and I'm doing everything I can to resist compulsions but I feel so alone and dirty and disgusting. Please help me. Thank you for any advice 💕

Username: Nicole Bb

Date posted: 1y ago

Any tips?

Hi friends does anyone have any tips for dealing with uncertainty? I’m dealing with “do I have schizophrenia theme”. And it sucks because it feels very real. I’m avoiding compulsions and doing ERPs and scripting but I just thought to ask for some extra support. And if anyone has insight or encouragement to share with me. Thanks, N

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