Help for adult son

First I feel for you and your son and thank you for reaching out to this community of people who understand. I have struggled with intrusive thoughts for three years and even when I was diagnosed with OCD at 46 I had the same fears as your son that what if it wasn't OCD. I just started opening up about my intrusive thoughts in March of this year carrying the same heavy burden as you and your son which no one should carry alone. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders when I started to talk about my intrusive thoughts and to find out I was not alone. OCD will make you think and feel like every thought is you own and real. It will make you believe you shouldn't talk to anyone and your case is unique but it is not there are so many others that are having the same thoughts, urges, and feelings. OCD is not just thoughts it comes with feelings and urges that make you believe you actually like and want the thoughts. My OCD latches onto my faith and I too questioned if I should be taking medication but again OCD will do a lot to make you doubt and question but the medication works. It may take some time to find the right one but it helps. The other part is treatment with a licensed therapist who can provide ERP therapy which is the best treatment for OCD. There is a big beautiful life ahead for you and your son there is hope, support, and community. Please tell your son it is ok to seek treatment from someone who was right where he is and that he is more than his thoughts, feelings, and urges. He can do this and the first step is the hardest but it gets easier and he can overcome his intrusive thoughts. I am a firm believer that Christ walks with us each and everyday and that he above anyone understands where you and your son are at right now better than anyone. He led you to post this and I believe you and your son are going to find the help and support you need to get through this storm. Christ is reminds us never will I leave you and never will I forsake you even in our darkest moment. That is where his strength is made perfect in our weakness. God bless you and your son and all the best as you navigate this together. I am always here to talk if you would like.

Young adult who is successfully fighting ocd with parents support here. If he’s fighting against treatment you can only offer support for him. If he lives at home still force him to get out of his room. Rumination lets ocd thrive. It almost sounds like he wants to be in a state of panic, to allow himself to justify the fact that these thoughts are undesirable. Coming to terms with the fact that thoughts might be scary but they don’t need to give you a panic attack to know that they are scary and disturbing. OCD will only latch onto thoughts that have no meaningful conclusion. Zoloft and Prozac are great for these kind of things. Maybe have an intervention. Remind your son that the thoughts are the issue it’s the mental anguish we feel after the thought that is the problem. Controlling the reaction will over time make the thought go away.

I was similar to your son at one point. My parents are uninvolved with my treatment, but I'm now doing much better post 1 yr if therapy. It takes time, but I'm sure he'll make that jump

AnxietyCanada.com website there is a OCD training modules he can do at home including making a fear ladder and exposure response plan. Good luck!!

diidnsnsns and Nitro929, Thank you for your responses. It makes me cry with hope. He’s so afraid to share his SOOCD thoughts with ANYONE other than me. (I’ve always been his safe person). He doesn’t want anyone to think he is gay or to make him question if he is. (He once told a therapist about his thoughts, five years ago, and the therapist asked him if he really was gay. That’s when he clammed up and decided to not tell anyone about it again). I will continue to support him the best I can, but all he wants is reassurance, which I know only reinforces OCD. 😢

As a student counsellor, my supervisor told me she had a client with a similar case as your son. Just because he is having intrusive thoughts does not define his sexual preference, and if he does have interests or curiosity in same sex that is perfectly normal too. I think it’s great he has a safe space and a person he can trust. If you search OCD on the website there are also video case studies he can watch, exercises, and tools to help cope with distress. Good luck with your journeys!!

Nathan Peterson has a lot of great videos and has a really good website with tools and exercises. There are also some good apps out there like OCD.app which you can find in the app store. Another great resource is a self-compassion OCD workbook by Kimberly Quinlin which is great. You can find it on Amazon or other online book stores. If your son does want to seek support make sure it is with a therapist that is trained and specialized in OCD treatment. There are a lot of resources out there. All the best!

About the anxiety being better I undertand. He probably belief that having the thoughs withouth anxiety or even having the thoughs and some arousal but no fear in that particular means something, it really doesn't. As far as treatment goes, that's gonna be really hard, the fear is deep, and probably thinks the terapy would make him "realize" that he's gay, and that's not what terapy is about, no terapist that understands OCD is going to try to tell you you are gay or smth, the issue is the obssesion and the disconfort around the topic