Can’t even look for jobs or consider any type of job that has anything to do with being around kids, my brain just tells me I want to work there for a bad reason, the thoughts feel so real, it tells me that I am a P. I just want to be normal. I can’t even look at myself, I just feel like there’s something off about me, and that I’m a bad person.
You are not a bad person what so ever! It’s just our own thoughts, our OCD wants us to think of the worse thing possible and make us feel like crap. I promise you, you are going to be okay. If anything, I would face your fears and be more around children, it sounds odd but you need to face the fear head on! Nothing will happens because you have good morals! Sit with the thought as well let it be there no matter how uncomfortable it is! Keep going, you are strong!!
if u let these thoughts win then r u never going to have a job around kids? never going to have a family if u want one? they are thoughts and this is a disease. if u really were a pedophile u wouldve already acted on them and wouldnt have felt guilty point blank. ur ocd will find a million reasons to even try to undermine that logic just to convince u u really are a bad person. but the one thing ur ocd cant control is ur real external life. where u apply for jobs, what u do with ur own hands and feet u have ur own self control over ur actions. yeah u have annoying horrible thoughts for which i am sorry but they continue more with the power u give them. give urself power grant urself the ability of self control and remember. they r just thoughts. do thoughts control ur actions EVER? no. the more u utilize self control the less these thoughts come into play. CHALLENGE these thoughts that ur intentions behind getting a job with kids is to be a P. challenge it by getting the job anyway bcs u most likely only want it to make money or gain a hobby or maybe just work with cute kids bcs they're adorable!!! and remind urself that if u already hate how unwelcome these thoughts are, why on earth would your intentions behind getting that job involve only triggering them more and make yourself go through a loop?
You’re a bad person. I totally get what you mean, I have POCD too. Now I’m not too much a kid person, I can barely be around my cousins because they’re so damn naughty sometimes, anyways with that being said, when it comes to my POCD… it would be nice to entertain the idea that I could maybe one day be a teacher or maybe even a nanny even tho I don’t desire those jobs but OCD has even taken that away. Ease yourself, don’t go down the rabbit hole of the thoughts or you’re gonna end up scaring yourself more than you already are. Just remember what you know is true, not the what if’s and what you know is true is that this is all OCD.
Thank you all for your comments, I think I might try and get the job. It’s just really hard, the thoughts are so convincing. I get groi n responses, sensations, thoughts, “urges “. It all feels so real sometimes the urges feel like I’m just going to snap one day, like whatever morals I have built, or the decent person I “think I am “, is just gonna go away. It’s so scary to think about. I think about my POC, just immediate thoughts that im just hiding behind a disorder. It feels so real. I wish I could explain how real it feels, but I don’t wanna sound crazy.
I understand this subtype really does hurt.. I missed Sunday bible school because I was afraid of my thoughts I would get… I’m afraid of somebody hearing my thoughts and hearing the voices judging me. I don’t want to say I had a relapse on this subtype but it sure did hit hard last weekend.
I work with young kids and I can’t stop thinking the most disgusting things about them. Obviously my job involves touching them and hugging them and having close contact with them via diaper changing, etc. I can’t go more than a couple minutes without an intrusive sexual thought or thinking that something I’ve done was sexual in nature. Does anybody else have POCD and work with kids or have young kids? What the hell do you do with the constant triggers? It feels like a battle in my head and for the first time in a long time in my mental health journey I’m having suicidal thoughts.
can’t see anything on social media about kids ill immediately get intrusive thoughts and groinal responses and thoughts like “u are a p, u can’t have kids because u are a p” and it genuinely feels like im destined to be a p. like impending doom. that no more what i do i am one and i can’t change or stop it. does anyone feel like this? can it get this bad? my brain feels convinced and it’s like whenever i say im not my body gets all uncomfy and then the groinal responses come. i hate this. am i a p? if i am one i want to get help. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I would rather be gone then be a p but if I am one the least I could do is get help for it but im stuck between ocd and this. what if im just a fraud hiding behind ocd
i would want to be a teacher or an aftercare counselor, not for the rest of my life, just for right now and i do get along with kids sometimes im not really around them alot. i wouldn’t want to work with high schoolers or middle schoolers, a part of me does to be able to set them up for the real world and ive been through a lot so I could give advice, but nowadays they are so disrespectful so I would rather work with little kids. BUT, i see so many TikTok’s of women getting arrested (women teachers) for doing stuff to their students. i already have pocd, and this scares me. it makes me feel like i should just stay away because im gonna end up “giving in and turning into a p”. it freaks me out. i then think I should work there anyways as exposure, but then my ocd tells me it’s because i want to be around kids and im using ocd and exposure as an excuse :(
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
