POCD HELP PLEASE

Last night I was hanging out with some friends, me, and this one friend were making a joke about this one young guy we both used to talk to, he’s two years younger than me the youngest I’ve went was two years. But my other friend was like wait didn’t you go younger? Which isn’t true. But we were talking about this one moment when I was 16, there was someone who was 14 who wanted me, I thought they were cute, but when I turned 17, they weren’t turning 15 for another two months, that kid was involved in a friend group I was in, and I went to school with him, when he kept trying to text me, I told him, even with regular conversation, to just text me when he’s 15. One of the friends in the car was like WTF, when they heard 14 and 17. I feel horrible, she was basically like that’s gross, don’t say that out loud or tell people that. She was just basically saying how she wouldn’t go for someone younger than her, well two years. The whole night I was freaking out, I asked my other friends how they felt about it, they said a two-year difference isn’t weird, they even said a three year difference isn’t weird, but for me that’s pushing it. Two years is my limit, I feel horrible, I feel like I don’t deserve to be here, I just made friends with these people and now I feel like it’s ruined.

Swift19!89!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

The thing about living with OCD is that whether we have it or not people will always just say things and don’t think. Everyone has an opinion and you stick to YOUR values and not theirs. We always feel the need to justify ourselves and stuff but I mean this in the nicest way possible - as I read your post I’m thinking to myself .. I hope she knows how silly this sounds. Babe you’re okay. you’re safe. And you’re okay.

dee012

Date posted: 1y

@Swift19!89! i just want to be okay:( ever since the girl said wtf, i feel like a predator and now im scared they think im weird

Swift19!89!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@co140 That’s why you gain tools to be able to manage the rumination thoughts because that’s what you’re doing. It’s playing over your head and you’re allowing her words to identity you and have power. Before she voiced that - you didn’t think it was weird and it isn’t up to her what you decide to do or not. I think this is just a natural thing people will go through in friendships and you will learn that sometimes you just don’t mesh and I know you won’t believe this but I promise you she most likely already forgot about this and isn’t going to bed thinking about it. Don’t allow ocd to take over and continue to still have friends and hang out and have fun ! Again remind yourself that these thoughts are just thoughts. Remember that other people do not define you and you have to say “okay. She has her opinion. I have mine. If she thinks I’m weird? Okay. But I know I’m not weird and if I am- I didn’t do anything harmful or illegal. It was consensual and I have my values.” There is only so much we can say to you love but you have to be the one to beat this battle

Anonymous

Date posted: 39w

well you know, dont ask for reassurance!! just do shit yk? accept that other people have their feeling and you have your own, hopefully they may guide you, though focusing on the guiding could also become a compulsion, just do whatever, and report to your therapist if you have one. You got THIS!!!

Givenup

Date posted: 18w

Pocd and triggered

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... This actor was accused of grooming, giving and receiving explicit videos of underage women, and harassing women... my POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ explicit HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including the minors, when I was 19, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them in private (including the minors) about my 18+ explicit HOCD struggles... one was uncomfortable by it so i stopped venting to her after she told me she was uncomfortable by it twice... the other gave me reassurance so i kept asking her for reassurance for my 18+ hocd struggles... I dont have any feelings towards minors in any way... the most i ever did was ask the 17 year old "what you bouta do about it 😂😂" when she told me to stop putting myself down when i was 19... i didnt pursue anything with her because of my age... im 23 now... i dont ever want to ever be with minors in any way...I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way... i dont ever want to EVER be a MAP, a P, or a gro*mer in any way... I dont ever want to be what my pocd says about me... im so scared... plus now its saying that I called the second minor "cute" when i have no recollection of ever doing so... im also scared that I will get cancelled or being misunderstood because of this... someone said that I need help, that I need to turn myself in, and that im hiding behind a diagnosis because of this situation... i genuinely feel so hopeless...

isharemycigs

Date posted: 17w

What do I do

when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

Givenup

Date posted: 16w

Pocd and gut feelimg

Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

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POCD HELP PLEASE

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