the future is scary

Does anyone with POCD have children? I want to have children in the future, but the idea of it really scares me because of my fears. Something I have been learning in therapy is not to make fear-based decisions. So it’s definitely something I want to do, but I just wanna know some of your experiences with this.

I struggle with pocd amongst many other ocd themes and even the thought of having children triggers it so badly. I try and avoid being around kids because they trigger it obviously but it makes me so sad because I was always so good with kids until I started struggling with this theme. I want children because I think it adds something very special to your life but I know having kids would drive my ocd insane. It’s like I can image how great I would be as a mum and then there is this ocd barrier between me and that. Maybe a lot of therapy could help but I’ve had ocd my whole life I think it’s just apart of my brain I don’t know if it can be fixed

i haven’t been diagnosed w/ ocd but my therapist says i have like symptoms of it but i recently just stared dealing w/ Pocd (hell) that my therapist says was triggered from the sound of freedom which absolutely breaks my heart bc i was so excited to support the movie but now i feel like it’s one of my biggest regrets. i feel as if i would’ve never watched the movie i would’ve possibly never started dealing w/ this. But my biggest scare now w/ this is having my own kids . i’m F18 and throughout my whole teenhood my biggest goal and dream was to become a mother a GOOD mother. everything i tried doing was motivated by the thoughts of giving my kids the absolute best one day. Now i feel like it’s my biggest fear w/ dealing w/ this and i don’t know how i’d even explain to someone like my bf for example, of the reason why i don’t want to have kids anymore ( though i still really do but i just literally feel like can’t because of this 💔💔) are there any mothers out there w/ Pocd w/ kids out here? how do you cope w/ this? should i even have kids?? i also feel as if it kinda bad rn. i was doing good for a couple weeks and last night it just rushed back for no reason. i’ve learned what groinal responses are ( it absolutely scared the shit out of me before i found out what it was and i was just not okay and sort still am not when it happens. it just feel too real and i end up sobbing god i hate this ) and i feel as if i’m constantly body checking myself especially when i see a cute baby or children tiktok i love babies n kids id never wanna hurt them in such away i rather pass away. i just can’t believe why this this happening i used to be so much more happier before this and i really don’t know how to deal w/ this and what i should do😖💔💔