- Date posted
- 1y
Rocd mixed with pocd?
18+ I don’t know the ins and out of ROCD so tell me if I’m wrong here… I have been fearing lately that I have groomed my partner/friend. In the beginning I used to make sex jokes all the time. Something shifted in me and I don’t do that all that much anymore. I dealt with intrusive thoughts about them lying about their age and for the longest time I cut off all sexual talk even if just a joke. It made me incredibly ill. Now I’ve slowly gotten passed that and we make jokes like that once more but less frequently since I’ve found the old jokes now to be tacky and tasteless. Now my brain is telling me that my partner only returns these jokes cause I’ve groomed them…. They are one year younger than me so maybe that’s why these thoughts are coming up. I’m worried that I’ve somehow groomed them unintentionally to get sexual stuff out of them. That idea plagues me pretty badly. One incident does stick out and makes me sick to my stomach where they teased me by showing me a bit of a nsfw story they were writing and I played up the whole begging thing to see the rest. I felt as if I pressured them. They showed some of it but I begged to see the rest…. Of course I didn’t know to the extent how nsfw it was… but it made me feel ill. Please what should my next step even be anymore? I feel like I should just leave, but they always talk about how much they need me to stay. They talk soooo much about how they need me. I feel like… but do you really? How do I know I’m not hurting/coercing you… how do I know this is right and okay?