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- 5y
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- 5y
I was an anthropology and sociology major with a minor in women and gender studies. I got into it because I struggle with cross dressing fantasies and I worried about the same thing. When I look at other cultures and history—I just don’t believe in any sexual orientation. I think there are biological and social determinants. But on an existential level, I think there is more fluidity. Many cultures do not have the concept of sexual identity and they perform acts that Americans might see as hetero or homo or bi. But they have no concept of. Maybe this won’t help you. But I am continuing to learn to cope with my gender insecurity by recognizing that my being—my identity—my essence is not a type or a category. And I suggest to study on history of sexuality and gender. It really helped me.
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- 5y
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- 5y
im attracted to women
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- 5y
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- 5y
yeah
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i can't tell if it was just because i didn't know being gay was an option though
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- 5y
i don't want to be bisexual though. i don't want to date men at all and he idea fills me with depression
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- 5y
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oooh ok
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- 5y
i'm a lesbian too, and i often struggle with this, but not to the level that i think i have hocd. most of the time, it helps to remember that society is really heteronormative and that it's normal for lesbians to have "crushes" on guys before they really understand their sexuality. i did, too. look inside yourself and ask hard questions about who you're attracted to, your mental illness can lie to you, but your attraction doesn't.
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- 5y
Yeah, I am similar. It's confusing as a woman who has crushed on guys or even enjoyed sexual experiences. But I fall in love with girls and have met a girl who I absolutely love but keep analysing my feelings for her Vs for guys and it drives me to the point of insanity :'(
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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