i think i might be developing sexual orientation ocd because i identify as a lesbian but when i was a kid i only ever crushed on guys. im starting to wonder if i just had hocd the entire time and believed the thoughts so hard that i tricked myself into thinking im gay. but i really don't wanna be straight ?

I was an anthropology and sociology major with a minor in women and gender studies. I got into it because I struggle with cross dressing fantasies and I worried about the same thing. When I look at other cultures and history—I just don’t believe in any sexual orientation. I think there are biological and social determinants. But on an existential level, I think there is more fluidity. Many cultures do not have the concept of sexual identity and they perform acts that Americans might see as hetero or homo or bi. But they have no concept of. Maybe this won’t help you. But I am continuing to learn to cope with my gender insecurity by recognizing that my being—my identity—my essence is not a type or a category. And I suggest to study on history of sexuality and gender. It really helped me.

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i'm a lesbian too, and i often struggle with this, but not to the level that i think i have hocd. most of the time, it helps to remember that society is really heteronormative and that it's normal for lesbians to have "crushes" on guys before they really understand their sexuality. i did, too. look inside yourself and ask hard questions about who you're attracted to, your mental illness can lie to you, but your attraction doesn't.

Yeah, I am similar. It's confusing as a woman who has crushed on guys or even enjoyed sexual experiences. But I fall in love with girls and have met a girl who I absolutely love but keep analysing my feelings for her Vs for guys and it drives me to the point of insanity :'(