OCD and shame

Having OCD gives me so much shame because how of my compulsions affect those closest to me. I constantly update my parents and my boyfriend on my health while throwing in my worries and telling them how afraid I am. They are exhausted. I worry that one day if I really do have a medical emergency I won’t be taken seriously because of my history of health anxiety over problems that are not really emergencies. This causes more OCD with whatever symptom I’m experiencing in the moment like- “this is it. What if this is the one time I really need help and they won’t believe me?” And then I freak out about people not believing me or taking me seriously. I feel like such a burden and I feel like I ruined my reputation with my parents and my boyfriend. There’s no going back from how they see me when my OCD is at its worst. It’s so frustrating that I’ve done this to myself. I feel so ashamed and broken.

Username: LyssaxoxxoLyssaxoxxo

Date posted: 24w ago

I sooo feel this!! I worry about that with doctors. I go into urgent care/doctors appointments/the ER all presenting “real” symptoms and almost always leave with a diagnosis of anxiety. I’m scared that one day something will be actually wrong and no one will take me seriously. You’re not alone. I also worry that what if I don’t know the difference? Because I truly don’t. I can’t tell if I’m actually unable to breathe or if it’s just another panic attack): but I can assure you, you didn’t ruin your reputation. With time you can repair it! I understand the feelings and am looking for relief with this myself. It is hard, but we gotta keep fighting. That’s our only answer.

Username: St.DymphnaSt.Dymphna

Date posted: 24w ago

@Lyssaxoxxo Thank you for your reply. It’s good to know others feel like this too. Yes I hope one day I will be able to fix it to the point where I can be taken seriously on these matters I just don’t know if that would counteract the years of my anxiety my parents have seen from me

Username: SamiellieSamiellie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

I think a good majority of OCD people feel this way — I know I do! I’ve said it to my family, my boyfriend and my therapist multiple times. But here’s the thing: if people love you, and I mean truly love you, they’ll be supportive. My family dealt with my obsessions, my ruminations, compulsions for 16 yearssss. I think the most important thing to realize is that frustration doesn’t mean they consider you a burden or similar. Frustration shows up in many shapes and sizes — maybe they’re the most frustrated because they see your distress and can’t help. Point is, you don’t need the reassurance but you do need the support from loved ones. As for the shame and guilt, you should look at ACT workbooks (if you have a therapist, then ask them about it). It helps and I’m in the beginning stages of utilizing that alongside ERP. You got this! Don’t feel shame for your disorder, but feel empowered to try and kick it to the curb.

Username: tulipomania

Date posted: 2y ago

OCD makes me feel so alone. These last few months I feel like I’ve been unable to be honest or open fully with anyone. I’m so ashamed of what’s inside me and I’m scared. I feel like everything is my fault and I’m lonely despite having wonderful people and things in my life. I am alone and feel so fake and disingenuous.

Username: kendalyn

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Obsessed with OCD

In 2020 I had an episode of psychosis because my ocd was so severe. I can’t/couldn’t pick apart intrusive thoughts from reality and I didn’t understand what was happening to me at the time. I live with so much guilt over what I did during psychosis and while I understand my “reasonings” for things, how I was pushed over the edge, I live with the constant fear of judgement and condemnation from those I love if they ever found out. I am on the way to get medicated again, and I’m starting sessions with NOCD again. But I feel like… I’m breaking apart here. I look in the mirror and I realize that there isn’t any running from who I am. There isn’t a magical cure to make me someone else, I will always have to live with this shame of even being in psychosis in the first place. I believe in God but it’s hard to even sit with myself. I’m safe, I’m just severely depressed. I’m looking for hope and it seems like everyday this disorder just gets a little stronger. It’s slowly chipping away at me. I want to get my life back, have a job, a healthy relationship, but I’m so ashamed and sad… guilty for having lost reality like I did. I’m not looking for reassurance, but encouragement. Am I the only one?

"Pure" OCD

Username: Leila4740202...

Date posted: 1y ago

Can someone send reassurance?

One thing that I’ve noticed about my OCD is that it makes me feel very regretful and embarrassed at the end of every day. I reflect on every interaction and every conversation and any thought that I’ve had throughout the day. As a result, I feel more and more ashamed of the way that I act, even though it is probably normal for some of my age to act and see the things that I say. Earlier today I flirted with a guy and then as soon as it ended I had so much religious and moral guilt about it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so ashamed after doing the typical activities that people in their 20s do? I feel like these thoughts are making me want to isolate from everyone else so that I’m not put in the position to do and say these things. I feel comfortable with myself when I don’t talk to anybody but I’m noticing that that can’t be normal . I don’t want to lose friendships and potential relationships out of fear that I’m going to say something wrong. I don’t know what to do.

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OCD and shame

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