Username: missbluesky

Date posted: 23w ago

SOOCD Comes and Goes

Every few months (3-4) I have a flare up of my sexual orientation OCD, but during the periods in between those flare ups I still get the thoughts every day I just don’t have horrible anxiety and I’m able to brush them off better. Is this still OCD? When it first happened it was 24/7 for around three or four months, then got a bit better, but still was there in the background. This has been the case for the last ten years— it has never fully gone away, it’s just been in the back of my head. I’ve never forgotten that I’m afraid of being a lesbian, but there are periods where I’m so anxious I consider suicide. I’m too afraid to do therapy because I think I will come out of it as a lesbian. Please, someone engage.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: MidwestmotherMidwestmother

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w ago

Hi. I just had a really bad year with SO-OCD but looking back now that I'm on a better place, I have had two other severe but briefer episodes over the course of honestly 15 years. Between these severe episodes, same sex things (couple on TV, etc) do make me a little uncomfortable. I like probably everyone dealing with this am completely accepting of anyone in the LGBTQ community. I think the discomfort was low level background anxiety from OCD. Hope that make sense and helps normalize the chronicity you're experiencing. I just did two intense months of ERP and am feeling better. I'm not more worried I'm attracted to women (I am happily married to a man so my concern was more about same bisexuality rather than being a lesbian). So perhaps you should explore ERP. Do not do traditional talk therapy, from lived experience it will make it worse.

Username: kditokdito

Date posted: 23w ago

We obviously both know reassurance isn’t the answer but just know I got through the same thing. And when I have flare ups I gaslight myself into thinking it’s this bad all the time

Username: missblueskymissbluesky

Date posted: 23w ago

@kdito Thank you so much for responding. Do you mind if I ask— are the thoughts always there? Do you have days where you don’t think about it at all? Because I feel like I don’t. I just want this to stop.

Username: kditokdito

Date posted: 23w ago

@missbluesky I definitely think about it daily. Unfortunately it’s second nature to me but for periods of time I am able to just ignore them and feel confident that I want to end up with a man. But then I’ll have a month where it’s so bad and I feel like a different person with a completely different “lesbian” personality

Username: missblueskymissbluesky

Date posted: 23w ago

@kdito That’s a perfect way to put it— it’s like second nature for me too. So you think about it every day even if you’re not having a flare up?

Username: missblueskymissbluesky

Date posted: 23w ago

@kdito I just seriously, seriously doubt that I have OCD and I’m not just bisexual.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

I was diagnosed with OCD and had it for about 5 months before getting help. I did ERP for almost 3 months and I know feel way better than I did at the height of my theme. I was so scared of doing ERP too and even while I was doing it was horrible I’m not going to lie. I was so scared of finding out I was a lesbian and I think I still kind of am but it doesn’t bother me as much as if did before. I too considered suicide when it got really bad. Although the thoughts haven’t fully gone away, I don’t have the pit in my stomach I used to have. That’s part of recovery though (apparently 🙄) most recently I had about a week of no thoughts at all and I feel like they’re slowly creeping in again, but I try to remember not to give in to the compulsions bc that’s what will keep you sucked in again…my advice is to get help. I know you’re scared but you’re losing parts of your life the longer you prolong treatment. Put your trust into the fact that’s it’s OCD, that’s what helped me through it sometimes

Username: missblueskymissbluesky

Date posted: 23w ago

@Anonymous I appreciate your kind words, but I’m not sure it is OCD. I’ve been diagnosed but I think it was a mistake.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

This exactly explains my experience with thsi theme

Username: missblueskymissbluesky

Date posted: 23w ago

@Anonymous Really?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

@missbluesky 100%, I’m here if u wanna talk or have questions. I know this theme is so hard

Username: missblueskymissbluesky

Date posted: 23w ago

@Anonymous Thank you so much. How long have you dealt with this?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Why does SO-OCD feel so real?

It all started two months ago when I was making scenarios in my head to fall asleep.. i was imagining myself kissing a man and then it turned into a woman. The moment that happened, I opened my eyes and panicked.. it was complete panic, i started sweating, crying and I couldn’t function anymore. I started asking myself “am i gay”, “i have to come out to my boyfriend”, “i have to come out to everyone”, it was all within the span of 10 minutes… soooo overwhelming!! My mind acted as if I was gay, I lost my sense of identity, I couldn’t even trust myself anymore even when I reassured myself. It was such an awful cycle, to look at any person, a man to make sure i was straight, and a woman to make sure I wasn’t gay… i feel ashamed saying this. If i looked at a woman a certain way, like oh she’s pretty, my mind would say yes u see ur gay. After two months, I imagine any interest with a female stranger as a confirmation of being gay, I’m so nervous all the time, i start sweating and checking for groinal responses (the worst is when the response happens).. i cant afford a session with a therapist now, and i keep saying that i dont have OCD, im in denial, and that one day ill be gay. Can someone offer some insight on wether this sounds like OCD?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: OCDeezeNuts

Date posted: 1y ago

Bisexual OCD?

I feel so many discussions of SO-OCD revolve around (mostly) straight identifying people fearing they are gay, or the reverse. But has anyone who identifies as bisexual or queer experienced SO-OCD? I am a woman married to a man, and while my sexual orientation has been reasonably fluid since I was in my teens, I have consistently felt a preference for men, and never felt the need to put a label on my identity (including straight) - and I’ve never hidden the fact that I’ve had flings with women. About three years ago I had the “brain broke” moment where I suddenly out of nowhere thought: “I am bisexual, I have been masquerading as straight since I’m married to a man, and I have to come out to everyone I know.” It was all I could think about. The fact that I felt shame accompanying it made me fear that I might be using the term bisexual to cover up the fact that I was actually gay. It particularly messes with my head because OCD is characterised as “unwanted” thoughts, but actually I am occasionally attracted to people of other genders, so these thoughts are not always unwanted. Which makes me wonder whether I am just in denial, and I don’t have OCD at all? And thus the cycle continues… Would just love to hear from anyone else if they relate to this!

Username: Going to fig...

Date posted: 1y ago

SOOCD

Not officially diagnosed with OCD, but will I ever get over this or is it just a part of my life now. Have been constantly having thoughts every single day for almost a year it feels like. There has barely been times where I’m not thinking “I’m gay” or having it in the back of my mind. This just brings extreme guilt as I’m in a relationship. Not sure what to do. Everything from my past is proof. This morning I was just bombarded with “ I’m gay” “im gay”

Sexual Orientation OCD

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SOOCD Comes and Goes

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