Help from a christian perspective please

I am young but when I was younger I used to do bad perverted things with other females before I gave my life to Christ. So passing those years and coming to now I have already told my momma about how much trauma those experiences brought me. But when I was in 7th grade I started having bad and perverted thoughts about everyone I see but this was a little before me meeting christ but I kept seeing people and then thinking of then naked or me seeing them doing things with me or me thinking I like them/have a crush on them but the thing is I don't like them and I hated those thoughts, I knew they were wrong and they were disgusting and I hated them so fast forward to me finding christ in the summer of me going to 8th grade, My life got better I got away from bullies and started online school but the one thing that didn't stop Is the perverted thoughts I kept going on and on about how much I love God and I still do but the thing is I kept thinking these things then rebuking them but then I thought about them again and they came back and it has been weighing in my back so I told my mom my testimony about how I found Christ and what I used to do and she was very understanding and loving about it so fast forward to now or a little after the school year ended I started going through serious mental and religious stress where I felt like I had to stope talking to my friend so is started doubting God instead of seeking him I continuously felt hopeless like I should quit or I should just not be here anymore because I felt hopeless like I had no love or the God I grew so fond of wasnt loving like I thought but I got over that so fast forward to know a month after All of that started I keep telling my mom about everything even the small little details and I've been feeling good about it but the thing Is I tell her things but then I feel like it's not enough and I have to tell her more so coming back to the perverted thoughts they never stopped and I told my mom about them and I told her specifically that I keep having perverted thoughts about everybody I keep thinking about nakedness or I keep thinking I like them but then I rebuke it but they keep coming back and my mom felt very stressed with me because along with all the work that she does she has to deal with me and no she didn't mean that in a bad way but with me she said she feels like everything she is doing for me isn't enough because I keep continuously feeling her more and more and more and she feels like all that she is doing her prayer, her hugs, her love and her messages aren't working because I keep telling her more and more and more bad but never about me being better and that was yesterday she also says when she is at work she can't help but think about me and if I'm still here or if I'm breaking down or if something is happening so she is constantly worried and it us causing her serious stress and I feel bad and yesterday was just a bad day for her period, but that was yesterday and today I keep feeling like what I told her about my mind and the thoughts isn't enough I keep feeling like I have to tell her more like the exact people and I don't want to anymore and what i mean by that Is I feel like I have to go into detail and I have to tell her every little spell and dust about the situation and it is stressing me out because I genuinely feel like I have said enough like I feel like I need to tell her the exact people and yes I've had thoughts like this about family also but the thing is I told her everybody I see and I feel like that is enough but I feel like everytime I tell her something it has to be in perfect detail and I have to tell her every little thing or else what I told her ain't credible and I see that that has been negatively impacting me and her because it's making her feel like she isn't doing enough for me or she is being a bad mother because of all that Is happening and the fact that I have to tell her ever little detail and it's hurting me because I feel like I don't want to go into detail because im not comfortable but if I don't I feel like I'm failing my mom and God and I don't know what to do anymore does anyone have anything to help me with about this from a Christian perspective?

Waging War A...

Date posted: 1y

Hi! As I read this I am thinking of how much God is pleased with you. You clearly have a heart that wants to please Him. I too have struggled with over confession - so just remember that is very very common with OCD. I used to have to confess to my mom over the slightest things, and also confessed things to people I hardly knew. I wrote about those experiences in my book Waging War Against OCD - A Christian Approach to Victory. (You can see a little more about it at WagingWarAgainstOCD.com) I think you and your mom might benefit from reading my experiences. And even though my confessions were about different things, they were still such a burden to carry for me. Chapter 9 of my book is all about God’s grace - which is the kind favor that God gives us COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT of anything we can do. I think that will help you a lot. I think one issue we struggle with as Christians is comprehending God’s holiness and perfection while also receiving His grace. I am very confident you experienced His holiness and goodness bc of how you have described your repentance. But His grace is also part of what we need to learn to live with, or we feel crushed by trying to perform correctly to stay in good standing with Him. But He doesn’t want us to perform (repent perfectly, confess everything perfectly, follow all the rules perfectly). Instead, He wants us to have faith that He is loving and kind - He wants for our good works to be a natural response to Him. OCD always makes us want to lean on our performance instead of His grace - and grace feels foreign to us bc the world almost never shows any grace. And OCD is constantly condemning us on top of that. All to say - when you feel overwhelmed, know that God is holding you, and keeping you…not because you are able and perfect and try super hard, but because He just loves us the way our parents love us - but even more! You may also get a lot out of stuff by Jaimie Eckert (scrupulosity.com) and Mark DeJesus on YouTube. The two of them are Christians and really get how OCD tries to affect our relationship with God.

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Religious OCD, ashamed of my thoughts

I am a christian guy who grew up in a christian community and family. For as long as i remember, ive had horrible thoughts about all kinds of things that i dont know where to begin. Due to my extreme thoughts, i feel as if i am unworthy of practicing my religioin, such as praying, reading, meditating, etc. I feel ashamed when i go to church, as if i dont belong there because i feel like i am secretely evil, and that God knows i am evil and i am committing blasphemy by going there, and refusing to "repent", from my thoughts. But then again, my thoughts are just thoughts, sure. So whats the problem? - The problem is that in my faith, i have been taught that we must control our thoughts, so they do not get power over us to make us commit sin. Such as "If you think lustfully about a woman, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart". This verse has killed my self esteem, due to the constant unwanted sexual and disturbing thoughts. It makes me feel like a monster, who secretely just wants to abuse and be horrible to people, even though i know very well i do not want this. Sometimes i think horrible things about the people i love very much, such as my girlfriend. It feels so wrong and evil, even though i know it isnt my true will.

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

Intentional intrusive thoughts during pleasure and masterbation

Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l

Asherose

Date posted: 11w

Obsessing over my relationship and my beliefs

Recently, I have been obsessing big time over being the best girlfriend I can be and being the best Christian I can be at the same time. Its rough since I always have these lingering thoughts that I’m leading me and my boyfriend down a path of sin by being more passionate to the point of having lustful intrusive thoughts when with him sometimes despite the fact that we’re both not wanting to go past pretty passionate kissing. For some extra context here, I’ve grown up in a Christian household my whole life and over the past few years, have been getting progressively more interested in my faith after temporarily abandoning it. It’s been tricky knowing what’s okay and what’s not okay to do, especially since I don’t view it as a religion necessarily but more like me wanting to get to know my creator better, show how thankful I am to be here/have everyone who is in my life and show said thankfulness by being as devoted as possible while still being who I am to my core. As for my relationship, I have been with my bf for almost 6 months now and he’s made me the happiest girl in the world, constant hugs, kisses, sweet little gestures that make my heart melt, caring comfort, the purest of love in my opinion and I’m so blessed to have him as my partner. Unfortunately though, I’m always worrying about him and our future together and how this will work since he himself isn’t a Christian. A lot of people who aren’t Christian’s won’t understand this logic but my brain always goes to 2 places. 1 is possible disagreements we may have about how we want our lives to go since I don’t want to hold him back from what he truly desires. That though, may not always align with what I have in place for my life. 2, quite frankly the worst one, is worrying about my bf not going to a good place after he dies. Now, this is not because of him as a person (he’s the best, very kind, sweet, supportive and loyal) but rather, because of rejecting God from coming into his life, and that scares me more than anything. Basically, I was taught that going to heaven is accepting God into your life and having your sins forgiven, and if you don’t, your rejecting the one thing that can take away all your imperfections and make you whole once more, which leads you to not fully making the mark despite me practically begging on my knees that it wasn’t this way for the sake of others who may not view things the same as me (no disrespect towards others btw, I love and respect people no matter what the believe or do). Does that make me sound judgmental? Yea, it probably does, but I swear, I wish it wasn’t this way. Based on what I’ve come to understand as a believer in God and Jesus, it’s not that simple. Knowing that, there’s 2 things that I mainly worry about due to the context and concerns I have. I worry about being a bad influence and Christian as a whole because of how much I struggle with my mental health and how much I fall to my own imperfections. I try and I try but I never feel like I’m good enough, that I’m probably a lukewarm Christian (iykyk) and that even I won’t go to heaven because of my own doubts and mistakes. I pray constantly for reassurance and for peace so I can be with my bf and even by myself and not feel this overwhelming weight crushing my shoulders constantly. It’s scary, not knowing what to do, how to feel, if what I’m feeling is okay or not, etc. Idk if anyone else is in my shoes, whether they are worried about being a not good enough person, not strong enough in your beliefs, or even loving someone and worrying for them and their future to such an extreme extent. If there’s anyone out there who might have some advice to make the fear fade away, even if it’s a little bit, I would be forever grateful. Before I end this, I just want to say your are loved and appreciated for who you are and nothing will change that fact, even if you may not feel that way, I’ve been coming to accept that the more the years go by and I wish for everyone to know this. Anyways, God bless and hope everyone has an amazing day/night. ❤️

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Help from a christian perspective please

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