rocd and exes

TW: SA mention hi so my current relationship is the longest and by far the healthiest i have ever been in. to the point where i’m extremely confident that i am going to marry him. we are best friends. however one of my more recent triggers is imagining my bf as my ex from about 4 years ago. this ex was my first bf and was absolutely horrible to me. he was manipulative and assaulted me multiple times throughout our like 7 ish month relationship. so i’ll be doing something with my bf then automatically imagine “what if i did this with ex instead and we were still together”. there is absolutely no world where i would ever leave my current bf for that man but these thoughts are extremely frustrating because they’re trying to convince me i miss my ex when i know i dont. i have very bad trauma from him and even just seeing him makes me extremely scared. i know that i don’t miss him and i do not love him anymore but i feel like these thoughts are taking away from all my good memories with my current bf. if anyone has any tips plz help me out thanks

Username: minionlovefminionlovef

Date posted: 24w ago

Hey! In a sense i used to / still have occurrences similar to you . A good tip that helped me was that i had to accept that sometimes thoughts like that will occur at random times and i know it sucks but you just have to let them sit . even you yourself know that you love ur partner an that you wouldnt go back to ur ex. When bad thoughts occur an u have all of these “what ifs” try ur hardest to push them out an forget abt it and realize that they are intrusive , they arent you , they arent what you want , they are SOLEY intrusive . remind urself that you love your boyfriend an that you know that you love him. it sucks but as people with ocd theres nothing we can really do abt having evil thoughts but to just sit with them and accept the uncertainty. i believe you are going to be okay. Goodluck

Username: matchalover123matchalover123

Date posted: 24w ago

@minionlovef thank you so much

Username: Lovelove5Lovelove5

Date posted: 24w ago

Hi, you are not alone!! I am getting married in about 20 days and I absolutely love my finace but I have ROCD too and I keep thinking of this guy from my class and putting him in similar situations you put your ex in with your current bf. I have ROCD in general but for some reason my OCD has attached to him although he is not my type. I keep thinking what and how would he be with me and how he would treat me and this happens when my finace and I are sharing beautiful moments. I hate that I might have one of these thoughts on my wedding day too. You’re not alone and Ik it makes you feel that you are not a good match for your love or you don’t love them enough but it’s not true. My almost husband adores me, is incredibly handsome and loves me so much and that guy from class is good looking a nice guy and my class friend but he is not my type at all and he is a cheater too, he has a gf and asked me out!? I feel my current relationship (and only) gave me confidence to date anyone now but it’s not true. We have to fight and know our OCD is lying to us no matter how convincing it seems. Much love and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE❤️

Username: matchalover123matchalover123

Date posted: 24w ago

@Lovelove5 thank you so much you don’t know how much this means to me. ❤️❤️

Username: DakotaRose

Date posted: 6y ago

does anyone else get obsessive thoughts about their ex while they’re with their current partner? i was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 4 years (also my first relationship EVER) and i definitely have PTSD from a lot of it. he broke up with me and i’m so glad that he did, because i don’t know how much longer i would have continued to be in that relationship. the thing is, even though he’s done a lot of fucked up things to me, i don’t have hate for him in my heart. i have these thoughts like “oh if you don’t hate him you must still be in love with him” and they make me panic. i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for almost 2 years. i love him so much, he’s so supportive of me and great. i get these awful thoughts that my ex was “the one” for me, i will never feel the way i did about my ex with my current boyfriend, constantly comparing them, etc. i’ve been to therapy for years now, and have come to the realization that i am self-sabotaging. i’m lost, depressed, and scared. any advice would be appreciated ❤️

Username: Anonimo05

Date posted: 2y ago

Im in a relationship for 4 years, but i had been in contact with my ex a few times. WORSE DECISION, after confessing i developed ocd. Different themes, i literally quit my previous job because i believed that i was going to fall in love with just anyone from there, female, male, kid etc. It was very difficult, but that theme is not loud anymore. I noticed how my ocd attached to the mistakes i made, and now is torturing me by reminding me every day with hard evidence i dont love my partner, or love songs remind me of my ex. Almost as if i see him everywhere, there are days that my bf says something and my mind tells me oh it sounds like your ex, or if i see my ex in him, its so weird, next year we planned a trip, same country/neighborhood where i met my ex, i feel like going back to where i met him might trigger my anxiety. How do i get rid of these ex thoughts, i dont want to be with my ex. I just want to erase these thoughts and everything is annoying me

Username: taylebrun

Date posted: 2y ago

Rocd and ex

My Rocd has attached itself to my ex. Saying that he is the one for me instead of my boyfriend who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just don’t know what to do anymore, has anyone else experienced this??? Please I need support right now.

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rocd and exes

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