I feel like I’ve been doing well in therapy, but I had a setback this morning where a situation that triggered my anxiety caused a litany of compulsions. I just realized I’ve wasted about an hour trying to figure out what to do. How do you handle setbacks like this?
In the past, would you have been able to “let it go” after an hour or would you have spent time ruminating all day? We aren’t aiming for perfection but a reduction in safety behaviors over time. If you were able to rebound, celebrate yourself! It’s still a win that you acknowledged the pattern. I think we all still find ourselves getting sucked in on occasion but it could be for 5 minutes vs. 5 hours.
@MegD6615 This is very true. Thanks for the support! The fact that I recognized what was happening and (mostly) course corrected is huge!
You’re gonna have set backs. Every time. There will always be challenges which is why it feels so rewarding to have successes! Be patient with yourself during the challenging moment. Guess what, you got yourself out of that moment! Great job! I imagine there was a time where it seemed like you’d never be able to stop in that short of a time! Celebrate the small stuff. Give yourself the same kind of tender love and grace you would to anybody else who is learning.
@sw33t Thank you for this! It’s true that it’s hard for me to give myself the same grace I would give others. But it’s so necessary!
Good job on recognizing the fact that you were doing compulsions and withdrawing from them. I have had setbacks as well. But every time I get back up and try again, I know that I've made progress. One thing that I've realized over time is that OCD never makes good on its promises. I hardly ever even get relief from compulsions anymore. They just make me feel worse.
@OCDlikewoah This is very relatable. Thanks for the support!
When I catch myself doing compulsions mentally during exposure sessions, it seems alot of the time like the realization that I was just doing a compulsion is more distressing than the actual trigger I'm trying to expose myself to. It feels defeating having to admit the prompt at the end that I performed a compulsion yet again. I still think I've made progress overall, and generally speaking I don't think I'm performing compulsions as much as I used to, and my distress has also gone down noticeably (not completely) but exposure sessions have been kinda tricky for me from the beginning since its all mental. Additionally, I am a bit concerned that I could start using exposures to rid myself of anxiety rather than expose myself to it properly.
I've been doing well the past month in cutting down on compulsions and have been feeling better however, last night I had a set back that carried on into today. I had gotten very poor sleep (4ish hours) and then something triggered my memory. I think with the sudden anxiety spike and lack of sleep I didn't have the strength to ignore my compulsions. Last night and today I've realised I've gone back into rumination and mentally reviewing the event excessively again and comparing my situation to other people's, but most of the times that I start going down these rabbit holes I don't even realise I'm doing it? Also been fixating a bit on the fear that I've ruined my progress and that I will fall back into the deep end of it all again, that I have done so much work getting myself out of, although trying my best to not be too discouraged. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with rumination more specifically?
So my therapist told me to start telling myself every time I have an intrusive thought just say oh there’s that thought again, and don’t try to figure it out or do mental compulsions. Well our usual tactic of “there’s that thought/feeling again” is not working at all this morning. This morning I was having really bad anxiety, it hits hardest in the morning when I am lying in bed with my son and I know the thoughts could come at any minute. Well they did, and I immediately was like no please just think of anything else. Well in pushing away the thoughts, I had this really weird feeling like I couldn’t decipher between reality and images. I was just getting flashes of images that felt so real. Even though I could physically feel my body and know I wasnt engaging in the thought or acting on it. It was like a flash of anxiety that hit and I couldn’t tell what was real and wasn’t. So of course my mind starts trying to figure that feeling out and if what I was thinking about just happened. And no matter how many times I’ve tried to say there’s that thought/feeling again, I can’t let it go. I was physically conscious and could feel my body but mentally I couldn’t. It’s so weird and hard to explain. But I’ve been doubting and second guessing that moment all morning and I’m in a bad spiral, again. 😭 it’s like every time I think I’m moving forward I get sucked back in and feel like I can’t practice my tools anymore. I don’t know what I should do 😩
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