Please pray

man these few weeks have been so hard. i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd, im almost positive i have it because everything on here relates to me on an insane level. but im just so scared dude. these thoughts of me harming someone are so scary and im so scared im gonna eventually act on them and i know i never want to but its still so scary. like sometimes when i talk to my mom about it i think in the back of my head “you know you want to” when i dont, and it makes me think or gets me scared that i do. these thoughts literally just happened out of nowhere and it messes me up so bad my literal perspective on life in general is just messed up. like i view life as its more common to be a bad person and its rare/hard to be good. can someone please just pray for me or just wish me better days. i dont even like looking at myself anymore and im scared i give off creepy vibes to myself or others now, this sucks so much

The compulsive praying for harm on others is back. I know compulsions are a choice, but right now, it feels impossible not to do them. I was spiraling because I thought about losing my boyfriend, and that scared me so much. But then, my brain twisted it with thinking that I would feel liberated and find comfort and new love if my boyfriend were “out of the way” and to this I almost felt excited? I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want him to die or go away. I don’t want him to be gone. But then, that spiraled into these awful thoughts where I felt like I had to pray for harm or death on him. I don’t know why I feel the urge to do this. It doesn’t feel like it will make anything better; it just makes me feel like it’s more likely to happen. I feel trapped in them. I don’t understand why my brain keeps doing this, can anyone help? Please

im scared. I keep compulsively praying for bad things or death on the people I love. I don’t understand why. It doesn’t make anything better. I’m scared that these prayers count. I seal them as I do with most of my prayers in Jesus name and with a double amen. I’m scared God will want to teach me a lesson and make something come true. I’m scared I mean these prayers, I’m petrified. If something happened, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself :( I don’t know where to go from here