Please pray

If you suffer from Christian OCD and feel Jesus hates you and you’re going to hell every few seconds but I keep fighting it because when I pray it says Lucifer and I refuse to pray to him. If I do Jesus will send me to hell. I’m terrified. When does it end. Some Christian’s are so peaceful, I want that.. why.. I feel cursed forever. I have faith in others journey… not mine. I’m stuck like this forever. My mind will never be the same.

Helppp😭 what do I do? I'm going to hell for blasphemy. I can't get it to stop and that's the sin that is unforgivable. How do I beg the holy spirit, I have prayed many times? Please can he have Mercy on me? I didn't do it intentionally. I don't want to do it or or go to hell. I can't even go to sleep rn because I'm scaredd... please am I alone😭😭 please someone say something 😭🙏🏼 I'm a believing Christian and can't believe I'm doing this...I have failed...I keep on saying derogatory stuff about HIM, please helpppp

I need some help. I keep having thoughts that I don’t believe in God anymore or that I don’t want to believe in God. I have always believed but I just recently started following him more closely. I did ask for Jesus to come into my heart. But now I’m scared that I have lost my salvation. It’s hard to read and pray and I keep getting thoughts that I don’t believe what I reading or that God won’t forgive the sins that I have done. I have been having panic attacks and I’m afraid I’m going to go to hell or I’m afraid that it’s true and I don’t believe in God. I’m also afraid that since God does know my heart what if it truly isn’t for him. I just need some help I’m afraid I’m never going to get back to normal.