JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

Needing help:/

I had this thought that was like “what if you cheated on your boyfriend?” And I w had no evidence, and by making “evidence” my mind gave me “what if you kissed this person” even though I’ve never kissed this person before. Quite frankly it would’ve been really weird. I feel awful though and so much guilt because for some reason my brain is convinced this happened, even though when I recall, I’ve never had the recollection of it happening. They had the wrong uniform on anyways, there’s just a lot of things missing. I want to recover and be able to enjoy life without thinking I’m the enemy or the problem. Any help?

Amara

Date posted: 1y

It's all intrusive thoughts you should don't react to them if you take them seriously your mind prudence more thoughts . Try just observe them don't engage with your mind. By practicing your mind throw up less thoughts. Practice mindfulness, Meditation helps you too.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Thank you, I’m gonna make sure to really do this.

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Anytime 🙂. I know you can do it. Remember, everything we've learned in our life or anything we've succeeded at was achieved through practice. By practicing long enough, we can make it happen. Every day, take any steps, even small ones, and you will see results.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - This is the motivation I really needed

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Also, reading books helps you change your perspective.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - I’ve been reading mark dejesus’s book

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Everything gonna be okay soon. Wishing you a good recovery.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Thank you, I needed to hear that. These thoughts now distort my perception of my relationship. It’s really difficult, but thank you.

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle You're welcome 🙂. I understand that even though my subtype is different, I know that with practice, there is nothing you can't do. Just have faith in yourself and believe that you can observe your thoughts and that they are powerless. You can take back your life and experience a wonderful relationship with him. Remember, you have to stop overthinking everything OCD says.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - You’re right. It’s just really hard atm. I like to journal a lot, do you think journaling and restructuring (not as a compulsion or to alleviate stress) but just to write down feelings and stuff is a good idea?

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Yes, I think if you write them down, your mind becomes empty. It feels like you threw them out, and you also see that they are meaningless.

Amara

Date posted: 1y

It helps alleviate your stress. Besides, try meditation and focus on your breathing. After a while, your mind learns to be calmer. Also, practice awareness.When you practice awareness, it means you are different from your mind. Think about that: you can't be both: You can't, at the same time, be both the one who talks and the one who listens in your own mind. That means the one who listens is you because it's aware of and observes the thoughts. The one who talks is your mind.The mind talks and you are listening, or sometimes you are talking against your mind. This means you are having a conversation with your mind. .We shouldn't get into conversations with our minds, especially when it comes to OCD thoughts. This means we are different from those intrusive thoughts that our minds throw up. That's why you get annoyed because they're not the real you. The real you is different; some people call it the soul. When you watch a movie, sometimes you get lost in it and forget that it's just a movie. Exactly the same thing happens with your thoughts: when you get lost in them, you forget that they're not you; they're just thoughts produced by your OCD mind. And who is watching that movie? It's you. You are not the movie, so you are not those thoughts either. You are the one who is aware of the movie, who watches it, and who observes it. Now you can understand that you are the one who sees the thoughts; you are not your thoughts. You are the one who observes them. You shouldn't get lost in them; just be aware. Every time your thoughts come, remind yourself that you are awareness and try to just observe them. The more you try, the more your mind will back off because it will see that you don't get anxious and that the thoughts are not dangerous or threatening. So it will produce fewer thoughts because you are aware of them.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - I’ve never thought of it that way. That’s extremely insightful. Thank you for taking the time to write that for me too. This OCD is so debilitating. And you’re right it’s like as if I immerse myself in them:/ and then they become a “reality”

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Anytime 🙂. I know that indeed is debilitating.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Okay, if things come up, is it okay if I just reply to you? I don’t have this expectation that you have to help me, but if you’re up to it?

Amara

Date posted: 1y

Sure 🙂 of course you can. I would be glad if I can help you. Whenever I see your comment I will answer

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Thank you!

Amara

Date posted: 1y

Also you can check this book on internet and read summary or something if you find them helpful you can later read these books too. Let It Go The Pathway of Sounding by Dr. David Hawkins The Power of Your Subconscious Mind" was written by Joseph Murphy. The book "You Are Not Your Brain" is written by Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Rebecca Gladding The Power of Now" is a book written by Eckhart Tolle The Untethered Soul the journey beyond yourself by Michael A. Singer

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - That’s awesome! Thank you so much. I love reading. I’m in a field training (army stuff) for the next 9 days so I won’t have my phone or kindle, but I’ll have to read these!

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Sounds great.wish you great days ahead

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Thank you!

Amara

Date posted: 1y

I know. I understand. But you know it's OCD, and you should be patient with that. OCD always tells lies, and when you react, it thinks, "Actually, it is dangerous here," and sends an alarm. You should change this pattern of OCD and programming step by step. Don't react, don't freak out, don't argue, or engage with your mind. Also, drinking affects OCD.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Unfortunately I found that out the hard way lol. The type of anxiety feels different, and I think that’s why I’m still holding on:/

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Do you mean not reacting to OCD?

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - No, I found out the hard way that drinking affects OCD. Like it’s a different type of anxiety or doubt I’m experiencing and it feels different “or more severe” even though I’ve gone through this a bunch of times.

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle I see. I think its effect for most of us with OCD makes it worse and causes too much anxiety. Although I really don't like the hangover after drinking.

Amara

Date posted: 1y

Hi, have you returned from your field training? I hope you are doing well and that everything is okay.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Hi, I’m so glad that you reached out. I’m doing meh. I’ve recently gotten a new thing going

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle 🙂that's great to hear. I'm here for you if you need anything.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Can I just text it out with you in a sec?

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Sure things. When ever you want totally is fine.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - So last week me and my boyfriend were hanging out and playing pong and we got drunk and stuff. Nothing out of control but just feeling whoozy. I purposefully told myself to not be on my phone because I knew my anxiety from OCD would make something up saying I cheated. My OCD was like don’t drink because you’re gonna do X Y Z… and I told myself like you’re gonna act normal because you trust yourself and teaching yourself everything is okay. We end up having so much fun and it was great and I went to bed. I remember telling myself when I wake up, “I feel like I should be worrying if I texted someone inappropriately last night.” And then all went down hill and my imagination went crazy.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - It’s not something I would do, also don’t even know who I would’ve talked to. I didn’t even talk to anyone else. Also, just my brain making a bunch of what ifs. It all makes no sense as to why I should believe I would’ve done such a thing. Also I feel like I would’ve worried about it the night of and things would’ve changed. I wouldn’t have had a good night if I did something wrong.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - I’m not asking for reassurance, but it’s just all is crazy to me

Amara

Date posted: 1y

It seems to me that you may be experiencing false memories related to drinking, which is why you think you may have texted someone something inappropriate.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - It’s not even a memory, like I don’t remember doing that yk? It’s just my imagination. Like I know it didn’t happen.

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle False memories mostly didn't happen, and individuals think they happened. False memories refer to recollections of events that never actually occurred or are distorted in some way. These memories can feel very real to individuals, leading them to believe that the events happened when, in reality, they did not. Research in psychology has shown that false memories can be created through suggestion, leading questions, and other factors, demonstrating the fallibility of human memory.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Ahhh ok this makes sense

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - I’ve also had occurrences like that before

Amara

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle Because of alcohol?

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - No even without alcohol, I have had false memory OCD several times

strike1207

Date posted: 18w

Can someone please help. I’m struggling.

I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?

DannyO507

Date posted: 15w

I need help

So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.

Puffin123456

Date posted: 14w

Pls help

So recently my husband was telling me that I better not think about someone else during intimacy and it triggered a memory that I believe is 1-2 years ago. Me and my bf were being intimate and I had just watched a movie with a certain celebrity said celebrity popped into my mind. Along with him being on top of me and being the one being intimate with me. I cannot remember if I continued with it and kept imagining it until the end or not but I can’t imagine doing that because I feel so guilty about it now. However I do know it never happened before and its never happened again. I find my partner the sexiest person alive and the thought of cheating makes me sick it’s something I would never do even when my brand wanders to fantasize I always stop it so idk it feels confusing to me. The memory kinda just popped into my head so I honestly don’t know how real majority of it is or if any of it is. If I did do that, is that cheating? Should I confess. I feel I shouldn’t as it would just cause insecurity for my partner and I don’t want that but I’m worried I cheated somehow if I really did imagine the celebrity the whole time we were intimate.

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