Recovery stories please!!

I had contamination ocd. I would use containers of 100 lysol wipes at once. I would empty my entire wardrobe and wash everything. I would take hour long showers. I would wash my hands for 10-15 minutes. If i felt contaminated (often) i would replace almost everything that was possible to replace (lotion, face wash, shampoo, loofah, toothbrush, etc.). Unfortunately, the only way to get better is to tell yourself: my thoughts may or may not be true, it doesn’t matter, i will not do my compulsions. There’s a reason this is repeated so much in the world of ocd. It is really the only way.

I’m not diagnosed yet, but this is word for word what I’m going through right now, my mind convincing me that I’m a terrible person and I feel undeserving of any joy that might come my way. Taking small events and blowing them out of proportion trying to figure out what went wrong and what it says about myself. It’s terrible…. You’re not alone

A year or so ago I had the worst mental health episode of my life. Very similar to what you described, but I was completely unaware of ocd. I convinced myself that all my intrusive thoughts were signs I was evil or broken. The simplest memories caused me shame and guilt that I couldn’t handle until the point I was bedridden. It slowly got slightly better, but my anxiety remained peaked for the last year because I was always afraid of intrusive thoughts. I even had to quit going to traditional therapy because it was causing too much panic. About two months ago, I saw a nocd commercial that described almost exactly how I felt. Something about debilitating intrusive thoughts. That night, I looked up the ocd subreddit and sobbed as I read dozens of threads that described what I was going through. It was absolutely terrifying to talk about any of the ocd themes I was experiencing, but I figured I couldn’t get any lower than I was. I signed up with NOCD, got a diagnosis, and started ERP. It’s been like two months and my life has changed drastically. I know it has its ups and downs, and I still battle the ocd, but I’m so much more equipped and hopeful. It got so dark that I didn’t think I’d ever see the light again, but this has truly changed my life. As with every post, I highly recommend binge listening to the NOCD Q&A on YouTube. It really helped me to feel safe enough to start therapy, and I learned so much more about the condition. Anyways that’s my story 😬

I’ve had a lot of ocd throughout my life I’ve recovered twice from two very bad ocd episodes so it is possible love!