Username: ninkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

Its so scary

I have no idea if this is just OCD and I’m actually just straight or i was in denial my whole life. Now it feels so scary, i feel like im realizing my true self, that ive always been gay, that im just using SO-OCD as a cover up. IT FEELS SO REAL. I even feel like others with SO-OCD dont experience this feeling and i must experience something different. Its literally a feeling like an urge to admit myself that I’m gay and it even feels like i know im gay and i was using OCD as a cover up for 6 years. I cant even describe that feeling. When i try to imagine myself with a girl in my mind it makes me feel like i like that thought like i want it😔 It feels all very very real. I think you guys with SOOCD have different feelings and you actually have OCD. I dont want these thoughts. I dont want to be gay, i dont want to feel this. But maybe i was my whole life in denial. 😭😭

Username: AnonymousestiAnonymousesti

Date posted: 22w ago

Hey, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and a lot of times I feel like I'm different from the rest of the people who struggle with SOOCD. Like I've had that all my life, and I've been with my bf for 6 years and every year it gets stronger and I'm more convinced that I'm gay and that I'm with hime for societal principles. Also unlike other SOOCD sufferer I have never known "fore sure" that I was straight I just went with the flow you know? and finally everytime I imagine a women doing something my bf is doing it feels like I want it more. And if I imagine my bf breaking up with me it feels like I would be fine but if I imagine a women breaking up with me it feels like I would be so heartbroken imagine that. Anyways I'm telling you all this to let you know you're not alone, I talked to my therapist about it who still confirmed it was SOOCD and told me "maybe yes, maybe no"

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymousesti Yea🙏 thank you…it’s hard. I never questioned my sexuality before. So i probably just knew that im straight. But sometimes saying that doesnt feel real :(

Username: AnonymousestiAnonymousesti

Date posted: 22w ago

@ninkaninga - There you go! Stick to that memory that is your truth

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymousesti Yes, i know. But comphet scares me

Username: LV4523LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w ago

It’s so common for people with high anxiety to have problems picturing their future. I actually just read a post about it!! You are not alone and I know how you feel!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

You’re litreally describing how I feel !!

Username: helpmeimsoscaredhelpmeimsosc...

Date posted: 22w ago

I feel the same way. Do u want to talk?

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

@helpmeimsoscared Sure,why not

Username: helpmeimsoscaredhelpmeimsosc...

Date posted: 22w ago

@ninkaninga And I’ve literally had an urge all day at work to come out as gay and I don’t even think what if I’m not anymore I’m fully convinced I’m gay at this point 🥲🥲

Username: 🙃🙃

Date posted: 22w ago

Hey! What makes me realize what thought or feeling is true, is just thinking about who I want to be in life. Because if I listen to every single thought I have, I would be so many horrible things that i DON'T WANNA BE. So, picture yourself in the future, what do you see? What would you think is true to yourself? I think the major problem we have is uncertainty and not being sure who we are. So we have to commit to who we wanna be. I don't know if this helps or not, but being true to yourself is act like the person you wanna be

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

@Anonymous When i was doing good and i didnt have these ocd thoughts or anything i felt normal like i was just straight this whole time….well but sometimes i do feel confused because of this. But also that comphet thing scares me😔

Username: IfiknewthenIfiknewthen

Date posted: 22w ago

Just because you could enjoy having sex with another woman doesnt make you a homosexual. You could be a heterosexual woman whos getting all bugged out because you feel like you could enjoy a sexual experience with another woman. Its the cost of having a healthy libido lol. Its attacking your ego. Take it with a grain of salt. REEEELAX. stop looking at everything as one way or the other, black or white, right or wrong.

Username: Nicolas:)Nicolas:)

Date posted: 22w ago

Seeing all your post you trully sound like just straight girl with OCD, and since I feel like I don't have OCD I would say the difference is that this doesnt make you happy and it doesnt feel like your true self, in my case it does feel like my true self, and trully believe I would be happy if I surrender, but for some reason I don't want to, also when I have the thoughs now, it just feels like it's me doing all the talking, before it felt like me arguing againts someone else, but now it just feels the thoughs naturally come from me, also I always care about people's opinion so that probably makes it more like for me to not have OCD

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

@Nicolas:) Believe me, i do have moments when i feel like thats my true self 🙏 i struggle with this too

Username: Nicolas:)Nicolas:)

Date posted: 22w ago

@ninkaninga Yeah but those are moments, you probably don't feel it all the time

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

@Nicolas:) No, not really. For example today i was fine. I have moments….and sometimes i question if its OCD because im experiencing different moments

Username: Nicolas:)Nicolas:)

Date posted: 22w ago

@ninkaninga Yeah well, I question if it's OCD all the time, cause I feel it's not OCD all the time

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 22w ago

@Nicolas:) Because for example i do feel terrible for few day, full of anxiety, thoughts all the time not able enjoying anything, then i have a good day, when i do feel normal, then again i cry, i feel miserable, full of thoughts, then i have even few days or maybe weeks when im doing okay and i feel good, and i dont know, then it comes back….its a cycle

Username: marina<3

Date posted: 5y ago

i’m so stuck right now , this does not feel like ocd. my thoughts keep telling me “just come out and be like all those other people”. i hate these thoughts and everything feels so real. i feel like i’m just questioning my sexuality and i don’t want to. this does not feel like ocd it feel so so real. ugh i’m so confused and scared

Username: Idk

Date posted: 5y ago

I seriously have never thought about girls until now. It just never crossed my mind. I never liked or had feelings for a girl. And now that I’m constantly questioning everything and picturing everything. It just feels like I like it. It scares me, would I be happy with a girl ?? I don’t want to be with a girl but I feels like I do want this. It’s so confusing. I can’t tell whether this is actually ocd or I’m genuinely attracted to the same sex. I hate this so much !!! It’s like I just completely lost myself and questioned it so much I’ve just become lesbian but some things just don’t make sense. Why would I catch feelings for other boys? Never girls. I don’t know anymore. I’m happy with my boyfriend. Without these thoughts I’d be so good and so much more happy. Now I just don’t fucking know and this hurts so damn bad that I can’t just rest not one day. This is so damn stressful and hurtful to question your identity every single day. Sometimes I seriously just feel like I’m lesbian but I can’t seem to settle on that because I just can’t be. I want to just die. I hate what my mind is doing to me. I hate I have to go through these thoughts alone. I hate everything. I just want to crawl in a hole and never see anyone. I just want to hug my boyfriend and have my thoughts erased. I’ve thought too much and too deep I can’t stop. I’m crying from sadness because I don’t know what’s real anymore and I never in a million years thought this is something I’d have to deal with.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Why does SO-OCD feel so real?

It all started two months ago when I was making scenarios in my head to fall asleep.. i was imagining myself kissing a man and then it turned into a woman. The moment that happened, I opened my eyes and panicked.. it was complete panic, i started sweating, crying and I couldn’t function anymore. I started asking myself “am i gay”, “i have to come out to my boyfriend”, “i have to come out to everyone”, it was all within the span of 10 minutes… soooo overwhelming!! My mind acted as if I was gay, I lost my sense of identity, I couldn’t even trust myself anymore even when I reassured myself. It was such an awful cycle, to look at any person, a man to make sure i was straight, and a woman to make sure I wasn’t gay… i feel ashamed saying this. If i looked at a woman a certain way, like oh she’s pretty, my mind would say yes u see ur gay. After two months, I imagine any interest with a female stranger as a confirmation of being gay, I’m so nervous all the time, i start sweating and checking for groinal responses (the worst is when the response happens).. i cant afford a session with a therapist now, and i keep saying that i dont have OCD, im in denial, and that one day ill be gay. Can someone offer some insight on wether this sounds like OCD?

Sexual Orientation OCD

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