- Date posted
- 1y
help
hi so i posted a couple days ago talking about the intrusive thoughts i had telling me i was a lesbian. so i know that i am not but my brain has been trying to convince me that i’m extremely attracted to women. it doesn’t affect me so much in person because if i see a girl and think “wow she’s pretty” it’s pretty easy for me to redirect the intrusive thoughts that come after it. however when im on social media i seem to have this problem. i have a variety of content creators i enjoy watching either on tik tok or youtube. however when i scroll through a girls account on tik tok, my brain tells me that im stalking her because i have a crush on her which i know is not true. so eventually i have to stop watching the videos even if i don’t want to because it feels “wrong” and like im cheating on my bf with a girl that i don’t even like. i am trying to still watch videos and sit with the uncomfortable thoughts to prove to myself that nothing bad is happening and that i can enjoy a girls content and style without automatically feeling like i must be lesbian because i think she looks nice. i love my boyfriend very much and don’t think anybody else would satisfy me romantically, sexually, and even just as a friend as much as he does man or woman. im mostly just writing this to get it out because it helps me calm down and to see if anyone else has similar experiences.