- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hello! I’ve read your post and I’m so thankful that you’ve shared your experience. First, I want to say that you are not alone. Second, hear me say that you are not a pedofile. The fact that you fear being attracted to a children or committing some act shows that this is actually a fear/anxiety based disorder. True pedofiles live with secret desires and fantasy’s about their attraction. Some of them, unfortunately act on these desires. You, however are different. You take no pleasure in these thoughts. They are intrusive thoughts. They manifest from your obsessive compulsive mind. You fear what you hate. You hate pedofila and you fear that you will one day become one. You have no desire to be a pedofile, but fear that one day you will become what your thoughts accuse you of already being. But the truth is, you are not a pedofile. The fact you recognize pedoflia as being morally wrong and are able to discern that your thoughts are undesired shows that pedofila does not have full control over you. In fact, you have control over it. You have the choice to be the person you want to be. You could chose to act upon these thoughts. Or you could chose to continue to call out these thoughts for what they are - false reality’s and obsessive compulsive disorders. Don’t give in to the temptation to act on these thoughts to “check” yourself or prove to yourself that your not. Believe that these thoughts are only thoughts and that this is as bad as it will become. If you only accept that this thoughts are not based on my sexuality and is a product of OCD, you can make it through today. If you accept that because you will never give in to the compulsion to act on the pedofila temptations these thoughts are frustrating you with, you’ll never become what you fear. These thoughts then, will only ever be thoughts. They have no life and no room to grow. You have the power to decide how much effect this has over you. Stuff them out by accepting that you’ll never be what they accuse you of. Call them out for what they are - “I hear you, thoughts. I hear your lies, you accuse me of being a pedofile. I am not and I never will be because I decide how I respond to you. You need me to have life. I don’t need you. You may bother me today, but I will never let you win.”
- Date posted
- 5y
Thankyou so much for that. I’m going to think about this when I’m struggling and I’m really going to try and do this. It can be so scary but comments like yours, although of course they can’t make it go away, help massively as they remind me of why I do already know but forget so easily when consumed by the fear. Thankyou!!
- Date posted
- 5y
The fact that those intrusive thoughts make you feel EVIL and Disgusting just shows you’re a GOOD person. An evil person would not feel bad for having those thoughts. Talk to a therapist about exposure and response. It really helped me overcome this fear of pocd! I had it last year and ERP worked.
- Date posted
- 5y
Sorry you are going through that. I have been there, walked in your shoes exactly a year ago. It has been the darkest time of my life, I have an 8 year old girl whom I adore so you can imagine how much I was suffering. Today my symptom s are pretty much zero so there is hope. However you need to put a lot of work - more than you think. I have read over 10 books on OCD, especially POCD, perfectionism and scrupolosity. I worked with many different therapists until I found an OCD specialist. I have done unaccountable hours of ERP, I have been part of many support groups. The reason I am telling you this is because many people want an easy way out. We are talking about transforming your life here so it won't be easy. I recommend that as you start your path to recovery you use this app wisely. Use it to ask questions and not to just complain and get reassured. Reassurance is the cocain for OCD - stay away from it. Accept the fact that the thoughts are present but also be aware that they are not you. Tons of people deal with the same thoughts but the problem is not the thoughts but how we react to them. I wish you the best. Cheer up - there is hope.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes and most ppl tend to react the way you did to ocd prior to any knowledge on how ocd actually wworks. What I can tell you that is learning to help yourself through education on ocd and practice really does make a huge difference because you empower yourself to change yourself. Try reading the book brain lock and a some of these articles. I'm not saying on e you understand ocd it will leave but I will say it's a important step forward. Hope this helps. https://psychcentral.com/blog/ocd-and-identity/ https://www.ocduk.org/ocd/types/
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ll give them a read now. Thankyou!!
- Date posted
- 5y
You aren’t alone, I have pocd too... ocd tends to flip our values on its head. I know it can be very very upsetting, but done let it define you... because it’s not really you talking. Your thoughts are just thoughts and you aren’t alone. Stay strong, you got this! Mine has been in remission for almost a year, you can do it!
- Date posted
- 5y
Also the book mindfulness for ocd is super helpful it also has a workbook with helpful methods for pocd.
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh Thankyou so much, I’ll check this out
- Date posted
- 5y
Have you read any books on OCD yet?
- Date posted
- 5y
I have read a short preview of ‘overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts’. I do want to buy the actual book but I haven’t yet. Are there any you would recommend?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
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