- Username
- h.1
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Username
- BlessedJTWBlessedJTW
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hello! I’ve read your post and I’m so thankful that you’ve shared your experience. First, I want to say that you are not alone. Second, hear me say that you are not a pedofile. The fact that you fear being attracted to a children or committing some act shows that this is actually a fear/anxiety based disorder. True pedofiles live with secret desires and fantasy’s about their attraction. Some of them, unfortunately act on these desires. You, however are different. You take no pleasure in these thoughts. They are intrusive thoughts. They manifest from your obsessive compulsive mind. You fear what you hate. You hate pedofila and you fear that you will one day become one. You have no desire to be a pedofile, but fear that one day you will become what your thoughts accuse you of already being. But the truth is, you are not a pedofile. The fact you recognize pedoflia as being morally wrong and are able to discern that your thoughts are undesired shows that pedofila does not have full control over you. In fact, you have control over it. You have the choice to be the person you want to be. You could chose to act upon these thoughts. Or you could chose to continue to call out these thoughts for what they are - false reality’s and obsessive compulsive disorders. Don’t give in to the temptation to act on these thoughts to “check” yourself or prove to yourself that your not. Believe that these thoughts are only thoughts and that this is as bad as it will become. If you only accept that this thoughts are not based on my sexuality and is a product of OCD, you can make it through today. If you accept that because you will never give in to the compulsion to act on the pedofila temptations these thoughts are frustrating you with, you’ll never become what you fear. These thoughts then, will only ever be thoughts. They have no life and no room to grow. You have the power to decide how much effect this has over you. Stuff them out by accepting that you’ll never be what they accuse you of. Call them out for what they are - “I hear you, thoughts. I hear your lies, you accuse me of being a pedofile. I am not and I never will be because I decide how I respond to you. You need me to have life. I don’t need you. You may bother me today, but I will never let you win.”
- Username
- h.1h.1
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thankyou so much for that. I’m going to think about this when I’m struggling and I’m really going to try and do this. It can be so scary but comments like yours, although of course they can’t make it go away, help massively as they remind me of why I do already know but forget so easily when consumed by the fear. Thankyou!!
- Username
- Grace Grace
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The fact that those intrusive thoughts make you feel EVIL and Disgusting just shows you’re a GOOD person. An evil person would not feel bad for having those thoughts. Talk to a therapist about exposure and response. It really helped me overcome this fear of pocd! I had it last year and ERP worked.
- Username
- FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sorry you are going through that. I have been there, walked in your shoes exactly a year ago. It has been the darkest time of my life, I have an 8 year old girl whom I adore so you can imagine how much I was suffering. Today my symptom s are pretty much zero so there is hope. However you need to put a lot of work - more than you think. I have read over 10 books on OCD, especially POCD, perfectionism and scrupolosity. I worked with many different therapists until I found an OCD specialist. I have done unaccountable hours of ERP, I have been part of many support groups. The reason I am telling you this is because many people want an easy way out. We are talking about transforming your life here so it won't be easy. I recommend that as you start your path to recovery you use this app wisely. Use it to ask questions and not to just complain and get reassured. Reassurance is the cocain for OCD - stay away from it. Accept the fact that the thoughts are present but also be aware that they are not you. Tons of people deal with the same thoughts but the problem is not the thoughts but how we react to them. I wish you the best. Cheer up - there is hope.
- Username
- Myke GMyke G
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes and most ppl tend to react the way you did to ocd prior to any knowledge on how ocd actually wworks. What I can tell you that is learning to help yourself through education on ocd and practice really does make a huge difference because you empower yourself to change yourself. Try reading the book brain lock and a some of these articles. I'm not saying on e you understand ocd it will leave but I will say it's a important step forward. Hope this helps. https://psychcentral.com/blog/ocd-and-identity/ https://www.ocduk.org/ocd/types/
- Username
- h.1h.1
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’ll give them a read now. Thankyou!!
- Username
- @Dee@Dee
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You aren’t alone, I have pocd too... ocd tends to flip our values on its head. I know it can be very very upsetting, but done let it define you... because it’s not really you talking. Your thoughts are just thoughts and you aren’t alone. Stay strong, you got this! Mine has been in remission for almost a year, you can do it!
- Username
- @Dee@Dee
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Also the book mindfulness for ocd is super helpful it also has a workbook with helpful methods for pocd.
- Username
- h.1h.1
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh Thankyou so much, I’ll check this out
- Username
- Myke GMyke G
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Have you read any books on OCD yet?
- Username
- h.1h.1
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have read a short preview of ‘overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts’. I do want to buy the actual book but I haven’t yet. Are there any you would recommend?
Related posts
- Username
- Kasey2001
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I have severe OCD and I experience all different types of intrusive thoughts and compulsions I fucking hate it! But one thing I struggle with the most is POCD! It makes me violently sick and disturbed but I know it’s not me and I know it’s not true but then why do I feel so disgusting? I have two children, one 5 and the other is 1, I don’t want to change my daughters nappys I don’t want to get her dressed (of course I do because I don’t have a choice) but it triggers me so bad and gets me in a state, I don’t know how to get over this I’ve had this certain thought for over six weeks and I can’t do it anymore, I’m so distressed they deserve better, why can’t I just be a normal person, I’ve actually thought about giving them up over these thoughts it’s breaking me and it’s breaking my heart, I actually can’t try beat this anymore.
- Username
- Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
POCD
Serious trigger warning here for POCD and suicide. I have these thoughts, urges, and feelings that are terrifying. I don’t act on them and I believe I would never act on them but it feels so real and horrible. I don’t know how this started and I want to believe I am a good person but I’m just so scared that I’m going to do something terrible. And even just these thoughts scare me to my core and make me think, “oh what if I am a pedophile” even though I know I’m not, and I don’t know how to deal with them. When I can keep myself busy it gets easier to forget this stuff, but if I have downtime I can’t get it out of my head. I had a young girl, most likely middle school age, come into my work with her parents today and I was terrified of the idea that I could be attracted to her. I don’t believe I truly am but my thoughts get so aggressive that I don’t even know what to believe. I avoid a lot of things but sometimes you don’t have the option to avoid and it just gets things further stuck in my head and I end up fixating on awful things. I wake up with this stuff floating around my mind and I can’t get it to go away. I’ve even considered just ending it to all to make it easier on myself and to make sure that I never have the opportunity to act on these horrible thoughts and feelings. I don’t ever want to do these things and I know it may sound ridiculous, but the consequences of these actions I haven’t committed scare me as well such as people no longer trusting or loving me, prison, hurting someone else in any way, not being a good person, etc. I just can’t find anything that helps fix this. I have broken down many times due to this issue and I feel like it’ll never go away. I know killing my sled is not the answer and I know I will never act on any of this but the thoughts and feelings are so aggressive that I live in an almost constant state of fear of my own mind and body. I hate this. What did I do to deserve to suffer this way? Why me? Why can’t I just be a normal person with normal human thoughts and why of all forms of OCD did it’s have to be this one? I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me fix this before I lose hope.
- Username
- jharbi
- Date posted
- 1y ago
I'm scared that I could be a pedo. (Pocd)
So I (16 f) haven't been diagnosed with it but I think I have OCD. Specifically POCD and real event OCD. I did something in 2021 that I regretted then and I regret even more now. I read some fanfiction that involved incest and minors and I hated it. I hated it bc it was disgusting, bc it went against my morals, and bc I read it. I was bored but I still wish I didn't read them. And since April of this year, I have been suffering bc I read them. I'm scared I'm a pedo and I really don't want to be one bc I don't want to do the things they do to kids. I Don't even find kids attractive but I get groinal responses and I'm scared that I actually do. I suffer from intrusive thoughts everyday. Even though this flair up started in April, I've been suffering from it for a couple years. But nowadays I'll be lucky to go a hour without them. I posted a similar post like this on Reddit a month or two ago and all of the comments said I wasn't a pedo and that it was POCD but I'm spiraling. During those months I would be scared I was a pedo and not be scared bc I knew it was ocd back and forth but this time it's different. I'm scared that I'm actually a pedo but I don't want to be. I don't like the thoughts and I don't want to do anything to kids. I know people say that 'if you were a pedo you would like the thoughts." Or "if you were a pedo you would know you are." And that's helped me but now I feel like I could just be in denial. I tried to not let it bother me but my brain tells me that if I don't react, that means I like the thoughts. I have younger cousins and a nephew and I hate being around them bc I'm scared that I'll get attracted to them. I hate when my younger sister hugs me bc I get scared that I'll get attracted. There has been multiple times where I just went in my bathroom and just broke down crying. And I hate crying but I cried more than I usually do. It's gotten to the point where multiple times I felt suicidal and honestly I feel like that now. But I usually got over it and realized it was just OCD but I'm scared that it's not. And I feel like if it was just thoughts then maybe it would've been better but it's the fact that I read those even though I hated it and was disgusted by it. I just really don't know what to do. I'm sorry that this post is too long.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond