- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hello! I’ve read your post and I’m so thankful that you’ve shared your experience. First, I want to say that you are not alone. Second, hear me say that you are not a pedofile. The fact that you fear being attracted to a children or committing some act shows that this is actually a fear/anxiety based disorder. True pedofiles live with secret desires and fantasy’s about their attraction. Some of them, unfortunately act on these desires. You, however are different. You take no pleasure in these thoughts. They are intrusive thoughts. They manifest from your obsessive compulsive mind. You fear what you hate. You hate pedofila and you fear that you will one day become one. You have no desire to be a pedofile, but fear that one day you will become what your thoughts accuse you of already being. But the truth is, you are not a pedofile. The fact you recognize pedoflia as being morally wrong and are able to discern that your thoughts are undesired shows that pedofila does not have full control over you. In fact, you have control over it. You have the choice to be the person you want to be. You could chose to act upon these thoughts. Or you could chose to continue to call out these thoughts for what they are - false reality’s and obsessive compulsive disorders. Don’t give in to the temptation to act on these thoughts to “check” yourself or prove to yourself that your not. Believe that these thoughts are only thoughts and that this is as bad as it will become. If you only accept that this thoughts are not based on my sexuality and is a product of OCD, you can make it through today. If you accept that because you will never give in to the compulsion to act on the pedofila temptations these thoughts are frustrating you with, you’ll never become what you fear. These thoughts then, will only ever be thoughts. They have no life and no room to grow. You have the power to decide how much effect this has over you. Stuff them out by accepting that you’ll never be what they accuse you of. Call them out for what they are - “I hear you, thoughts. I hear your lies, you accuse me of being a pedofile. I am not and I never will be because I decide how I respond to you. You need me to have life. I don’t need you. You may bother me today, but I will never let you win.”
- Date posted
- 5y
Thankyou so much for that. I’m going to think about this when I’m struggling and I’m really going to try and do this. It can be so scary but comments like yours, although of course they can’t make it go away, help massively as they remind me of why I do already know but forget so easily when consumed by the fear. Thankyou!!
- Date posted
- 5y
The fact that those intrusive thoughts make you feel EVIL and Disgusting just shows you’re a GOOD person. An evil person would not feel bad for having those thoughts. Talk to a therapist about exposure and response. It really helped me overcome this fear of pocd! I had it last year and ERP worked.
- Date posted
- 5y
Sorry you are going through that. I have been there, walked in your shoes exactly a year ago. It has been the darkest time of my life, I have an 8 year old girl whom I adore so you can imagine how much I was suffering. Today my symptom s are pretty much zero so there is hope. However you need to put a lot of work - more than you think. I have read over 10 books on OCD, especially POCD, perfectionism and scrupolosity. I worked with many different therapists until I found an OCD specialist. I have done unaccountable hours of ERP, I have been part of many support groups. The reason I am telling you this is because many people want an easy way out. We are talking about transforming your life here so it won't be easy. I recommend that as you start your path to recovery you use this app wisely. Use it to ask questions and not to just complain and get reassured. Reassurance is the cocain for OCD - stay away from it. Accept the fact that the thoughts are present but also be aware that they are not you. Tons of people deal with the same thoughts but the problem is not the thoughts but how we react to them. I wish you the best. Cheer up - there is hope.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes and most ppl tend to react the way you did to ocd prior to any knowledge on how ocd actually wworks. What I can tell you that is learning to help yourself through education on ocd and practice really does make a huge difference because you empower yourself to change yourself. Try reading the book brain lock and a some of these articles. I'm not saying on e you understand ocd it will leave but I will say it's a important step forward. Hope this helps. https://psychcentral.com/blog/ocd-and-identity/ https://www.ocduk.org/ocd/types/
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ll give them a read now. Thankyou!!
- Date posted
- 5y
You aren’t alone, I have pocd too... ocd tends to flip our values on its head. I know it can be very very upsetting, but done let it define you... because it’s not really you talking. Your thoughts are just thoughts and you aren’t alone. Stay strong, you got this! Mine has been in remission for almost a year, you can do it!
- Date posted
- 5y
Also the book mindfulness for ocd is super helpful it also has a workbook with helpful methods for pocd.
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh Thankyou so much, I’ll check this out
- Date posted
- 5y
Have you read any books on OCD yet?
- Date posted
- 5y
I have read a short preview of ‘overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts’. I do want to buy the actual book but I haven’t yet. Are there any you would recommend?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
- Date posted
- 23w
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
- Date posted
- 22w
I feel like one of the worst things about ocd are the disturbing images or the ‘little movies’ that replay in your head over and over again. I have the worst sexual images with one of my family members that actually so bad that I can’t even look in the mirror. And it’s even worse that I have a lovely boyfriend and I’m so disgusted of myself that I feel like I don’t deserve him and I feel like I can’t be with him because of these thoughts, even he is the most precious thing in my life. These sexual images are so horrible and what makes it even worse that in these pictures I always see myself as someone who enjoys it. I know how to deal with this anymore. My mind is trying to convince me that that I actually like these images and thoughts and this is the hardest part, that I’m doubting myself. These images pop up in my head so naturally that I always question myself if I actually don’t like it why it comes so naturally or how can my brain picture things like this if I don’t like it. It’s getting worse day by day. It’s in my head 24/7, can’t concentrate on anything else, I can’t eat because I’m constantly throwing up. And my mom has to sleep with me every night because I’m so disturbed by my own mind. My parents know that there’s something wrong with me, they think I’m depressed but sadly It’s not something I can talk openly about with them. I’m seeing a therapist next week but I’m genuinely scared to open up about these thoughts that I’m having.
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