Hey! I hope you’re feeling a bit better today. I’m proud of you for opening up! Good on you!!!
I always say, self aware can help a lot, but it can be frustrating as we know when our thoughts are OCD and intrusive, and yet we still have them. It’s hard to combat sometimes. I’ve recently just found ways to cope with OCD
I want you to know, you’re not alone. I’m actually in the same boat. I just told my partner yesterday, how when I’ve had panic attacks (only a couple times across the last few months) It is so overwhelming, and it just leads to a constant spiral for hours. And some point, I’ll have this area where I think about harm, yet I know I would never do anything of such, and yet they still come up? It’s annoying, and when it’s paired with depression, it’s like a KO to myself at time lol!
The last two weeks, I had been fighting with a spiral, where I barely ate, wanted to sleep away the pain and thoughts, and whenever I was up, I was miserable and constantly in my head. I spent a lot of my time walking around with teary eyes, because I’d be so lost in my head and fighting against these thoughts, that truly had just become so frustrating! If you’ve been there, its okay, we will get through it! It’s not easy, and it’ll take time, but we will figure it out
Anyways, I guess the biggest thing I can share from having similar experiences with you, is that: You are self aware on this, which helps a heap. You are not your thoughts, and in a time of vulnerability, your OCD will throw and target ideas that are uncomfortable and frustrating, as a way for us to get annoyed and frustrated but then to eventually start overthinking on the “what ifs.” Those “what ifs” aren’t genuine thoughts. Those aren’t feelings you truly want or have. It’s our OCD pinning against us. In a time of spiral and freaking out, our ocd will prey on ideas that are going to push us further into a spiral worry
The way I’ve had to kinda make it through those attacks and thoughts, is through trying to divert my mind somewhere else after acknowledging that those harm thoughts are OCD. I’ve tried watercolours, music and dance, and more grounding methods that involve senses! 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you touch, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. I recommend checking out some nature sound playlists to try and calm your mind in spirals, but it may work for just a second! Even so, that second I use to grasp and have a breath, and try to push the OCD spiral out
If you have anymore questions, or would like to share some more on your situation, feel free to reply back to this, and I’ll try my best :))
You got this! I’m proud of you for reaching out for help
