- Date posted
- 1y
Having a Rough Night! Would love some support
Hey y’all! I am asking for some support for a rough time with my OCD. I’m a straight woman who has SOOCD about being attracted to women as well as hints of ROCD and previous themes of the environment and religion. SO OCD has been kicking my ass on and off for over 2 years and I’ve seen 2 different therapists for treatment. With my current therapist we are doing I-CBT which has helped in some ways but not in others. I had an incredibly bad flare up thinking about some 🌽 I watched as a kid and it made me spiral thinking I could have a fetish that made me feel so awful gross and scared. I spent about 2 straight hours scrolling through forums trying to get an answer before feeling relief. I can’t see my therapist until next Friday and decided to make a list of my triggers, obsessions and compulsions to bring to her so we can talk about it and hopefully find a structured way to confront my fears. I’m currently ok right now but am nervous about when my next spiral is going to be and to go to sleep because I frequently have dreams relating to my triggers and it stresses me out so much :( This illness has stolen so much from me and feels like it borderline ruins many components of my life. I feel like I have « lost » my attraction to men becuase im so anxious all the time and im nervous to have sex with my bf (im a virgin) becuase of what ill think about or how ill react to certain thoughts. It doesn’t make any sense because I have so intensely wanted to have sex and be sexual with men in the past and that has always been my normal. It is destroying me. I’m sure people can relate but does anyone have advice on what I can do in the meantime until I can see my therapist? What I can do if I have an intrusive thought and want to engage in a compulsion? Thank you for any and all advice :))