- Date posted
- 1y
Recovery
Do you think one day in recovery they’ll be a day I don’t think about the fact I even have ocd?
Do you think one day in recovery they’ll be a day I don’t think about the fact I even have ocd?
It's certainly possible. It used to completely run my life. Now I have my ups and downs but a majority of the time I barely think about it at all.
@djflorio Im glad to hear that you’re doing better
@djflorio Thanks for the comment! Glad to hear you’re doing well
Hey, I had harm ocd and I recovered from it, like it went away completely, and I went months without even remembering a single harm thought. Two months ago it came back stronger than last time but that’s my question too, like I know I’ve recovered from it before but for some reason since it came back stronger and it’s getting worse, I feel like I’ll never recover again.
@Ocdsucks56 I dealt with harm ocd too and it sometimes comes and goes but I always know it will go again. I constantly remind myself that it doesn’t matter whether it’s harm, relationship, or any other theme- they always feel like “the worst theme”, when I’m in them. Regardless of the content- it’s all OCD. That sometimes makes me feel a bit better. I imagine myself in water. Do I thrash and panic or do I lie on my back and let the waves take me along to calmer waters. This is just another wave and one you can overcome before. Ride it out, better days are coming!
Sorry to hear that you're having trouble again. Recovery isn't a straight line, it can be a bit of a roller coaster. But each time you face difficultly, there is an opportunity to learn, and to practice the tools that helped you before. Each time you come out of it, you'll be that much stronger. I strongly feel that the skills and tools we learn to overcome things like OCD make us better than "normal." I feel that I'm better equipped to deal with difficult situations than people who never worked on this stuff, even those without anxiety disorders.
@Ocdsucks56 You can do it AGAIN!
Absolutely, and there will be periods of time where ocd isn’t as loud, or you’ll even find you’re managing better and it doesn’t have the same impact on you. Keep up the good work, thoughts are temporary. Instead of “what if I don’t have recovery”, try telling yourself “what if I do?” Imagine how good that feels!
@Anonymous 💭 Thanks for the encouragement
Yes i do. Probably you will have bad days too. Remember the tools you used last time and keep doing the recovery work.
@OCDFamily Thank you for the encouraging words
So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?
I think I’m in the recovery stage as my thoughts have settled so much & I only get intrusive thoughts on occasion and get worse only when I’m anxious, but the quietness in my brain feels so weird & I feel awful saying that because all I wanted was the thoughts to stop. This is the most quiet it’s been it’s over 7 months, so to go from non stop thoughts for a long time to quietness I don’t know how to take it. Has anyone else felt like this in recovery
The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?
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