- Date posted
- 31w ago
Recovery
Do you think one day in recovery they’ll be a day I don’t think about the fact I even have ocd?
Do you think one day in recovery they’ll be a day I don’t think about the fact I even have ocd?
It's certainly possible. It used to completely run my life. Now I have my ups and downs but a majority of the time I barely think about it at all.
@djflorio Im glad to hear that you’re doing better
@djflorio Thanks for the comment! Glad to hear you’re doing well
Hey, I had harm ocd and I recovered from it, like it went away completely, and I went months without even remembering a single harm thought. Two months ago it came back stronger than last time but that’s my question too, like I know I’ve recovered from it before but for some reason since it came back stronger and it’s getting worse, I feel like I’ll never recover again.
@Ocdsucks56 I dealt with harm ocd too and it sometimes comes and goes but I always know it will go again. I constantly remind myself that it doesn’t matter whether it’s harm, relationship, or any other theme- they always feel like “the worst theme”, when I’m in them. Regardless of the content- it’s all OCD. That sometimes makes me feel a bit better. I imagine myself in water. Do I thrash and panic or do I lie on my back and let the waves take me along to calmer waters. This is just another wave and one you can overcome before. Ride it out, better days are coming!
Sorry to hear that you're having trouble again. Recovery isn't a straight line, it can be a bit of a roller coaster. But each time you face difficultly, there is an opportunity to learn, and to practice the tools that helped you before. Each time you come out of it, you'll be that much stronger. I strongly feel that the skills and tools we learn to overcome things like OCD make us better than "normal." I feel that I'm better equipped to deal with difficult situations than people who never worked on this stuff, even those without anxiety disorders.
@Ocdsucks56 You can do it AGAIN!
Absolutely, and there will be periods of time where ocd isn’t as loud, or you’ll even find you’re managing better and it doesn’t have the same impact on you. Keep up the good work, thoughts are temporary. Instead of “what if I don’t have recovery”, try telling yourself “what if I do?” Imagine how good that feels!
@Anonymous 💭 Thanks for the encouragement
Yes i do. Probably you will have bad days too. Remember the tools you used last time and keep doing the recovery work.
@OCDFamily Thank you for the encouraging words
If you suffer from taboo themes, and deal with groinal responses… Do you feel they have disappeared? Do you still notice them? For myself, they have become so engrained/automatic , so while i do not get “anxious” by them anymore i still can clock them & it can feel discouraging … What are your experiences?
So for a while i have been suffering of HOCD combined with a little of ROCD and had massive episodes of anxiety and panic attacks, because of that I lost my attraction and my libido while also being in a relationship and that stresses me bad. Also since the start of the severe anxiety I started to lose it gradually over time and at the moment I do not feel any anxiety anymore while having these thoughts which makes me think that I want this to happen because they don’t disgust me anymore. Any advices on how to hold on and get over my OCD? Also is the disappearing of disgust a sign of recovery or denial?
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
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