TW talk about sa

Hey, so I wanted to ask about something that is trying to bother me right now. I just thought to come on here before letting my mind ruminate over and over and over. So a year ago when I was 22, I did not have many people to talk to aside from my roommates who were either not home during the summer or just to themselves so I decided to try out Omegle. I talked to a few different people on there, but there’s two people in particular that kind of made me worried. There is this one girl I was talking to from Canada and she told me the story about her and her friends smoking weed, and I told her about how my female roommate used to sleep in my bed. But the way I told her that was by asking for her Instagram so I could DM her that rather than say it out loud because my roommate was in the next room. At some point during our conversation, she told me that she was 16, and I’m not even sure how we came about that but she told me. Before I continue, we were not flirting at all. We were just sharing stories, that was it. My intention was to not flirt at all with anyone because of age and the fact that they probably nowhere near me. Also, I just kind of thought it would be weird too. But now I can’t remember if she told me her age before I told her about my roommate or after I told her about my roommate, but I feel like it was before because I kind of felt like I should’ve unfollowed her after. And what made it worse is that somehow my roommate saw her Instagram handle and followed her as well. Another instance was when this girl was being very goofy and playing the character and I was joking back and I ended up being invited into their Instagram group chat, where I found out they were also 16 so without saying anything, I left the group chat. So my worries if this was inappropriate or was it just a conversation that I probably should’ve cut short. I’m not sure but it’s starting to worry me. And just for context, I have no idea that girl or anybody else since that day and it NEVER went sexual at all. So yeah, that’s the story

I have a dear friend who happens to be fat. I like to tease him because he's a bit shy but it's playful not disrespectful. One day I was messing around with him and I thought it would be funny because he was very fat to act like a creep and reach out with my hands with the grabbing motion as a joke, and I think I playfully pinched his man boobs (I don't really remember but I suppose I did that). It was a joke and I didnt really put much thought to it when I did that as I didn't have ill intent, but I still made him uncomfortable, I'm afraid he felt molested and that I did SA. Even though man boobs are not a se&ual body part I still should have not done that. One day I put an arm around him nothing weird and he told me he was uncomfortable with physical touch, so from then I understood where he was coming from. So I respected his wish and I stopped having physical contact with him entirely. Now lately I've been overwhelmed with a big guilt and a lot of anxiety over what I did that day. I stopped with the fat jokes and just started being more thoughtful with my approach as a friend, just giving him advices, but without trying to make him change anything or making him feel bad abt himself or give unwarranted critics as I did before. We kept being good friends despite that awkward event, and he probably forgot it and it doesn't weigh to him as much as it does for me for what I did. After some time when I was overwhelmed with guilt after realising what I did despite not having bad or se&ual intention, I apologised profusely for what I did that day and he was very chill and told me "relax, don't worry abt it, really". We went to the movies together and I bought him a nice present for his birthday that he appreciated a lot. I still feel guilt. I can't let this one go and I'm sure that you guys agree what I did was very wrong and I agree. Nothing changed, we're good friends. But I feel like I commited SA. It's a guilt that I can't let go and probably shouldnt. I feel ashamed. Even though I try to reassure myself because we have the same circle of friends and they touch me inappropriately all the time as a gay joke and they do that between themselves and do not think much abt it, and one time my same friend did laugh in the car when my other friend kept touching me inappropriately as a joke. I don't know. I don't ask for reassurance and forgiveness. I'm not the type of person to self-absolve his own sins. Just telling this because I think people should know what I did.

i just thought about something that happened between me,my sister, and brother when we were younger and im pretty sure it was COCSA and im getting scared thinking about it. I’m the oldest and the biggest age gap is three years so we’re all fairly close in age and this happened when i was around maybe 8 and im not going to discuss too many details here because im scared but im just thinking about so many things from my childhood that could be signs i couldve been SA’d and its making me think what if i was and i dont remember and thats why that situation happened and the other ones im thinking about ? cause there are a couple situations im thinking about but i dont even know if theyre real. the only one i know is real is the one where i think i was apart of COCSA because i distinctly remember my siblings and i joking about it some time after it happened a few times. im scared of what my siblings might think of me if they remember it now after its been so long. like do they think im disgusting? i dont even remember how the event had started or if i was the one who made the suggestion but i just remember laughing when it was being done. honestly idek if it could be considered COCSA and im scared to talk to anyone about it in too much detail. this is really scary posting this i feel like im in trouble or something but idk i just need to vent. last post for now i just keep thinking too much today.