I struggle a lot with ROCD and I'm so worried that I'm burdening my partner with these issues I have. He hasn't told me that or anything but I'm so worried that I'm letting him down by being so scared. Anyone relate?
Currently working through one of the longest most distressing OCD episodes of my life. I'm a newlywed wed and my husband has not seen anything of the likes of what I'm experiencing. I felt extremely embarrassed and the exact same way as you do too but he has assured me he is here and I just make sure to communicate with him when I'm having a hard time but I also make sure to try my best to do the work to make myself better. I get to bed on time, I eat a good diet, I exercise, I go to work ( even if I feel like crap during all the above) and I am SLOWLY coming out of it. Communicating is the key to all relationships. Talk to him. let him know how to help you. You're going to get thru this.
@TexasOCD41 Thank you š
I'm there too. I try to communicate but a lot of my rocd symptoms are directed at my husband, so he's less empathetic about it. I wish I could have better ways to communicate what I'm going through without doubting my husband or making implied accusations. It's really hard. I'm also a newlywed and for some reason this flared up right after the wedding. I think I'm scared now that it's official I have something important to lose.
Well that is a tricky line to walk. When I say communicate, I don't really mean give him the details of what your OCD is doing/saying. When I had ROCD right at the beginning of my relationship to my now husband ( it started like a week after we became official I all the sudden was asking " do I even like him? do I even want to be in a relationship? am I even attracted to him? omg he didn't put his napkin in his lap at dinner I cant be with someone like that!") yea its hilarious now but it was life altering-missing work-going home to stay with parents for 2 weeks ultimate distressing. BUT I NEVER told HIM what my thoughts were, I only told him I had OCD, I was struggling, and even to this day EVEN IF HE ASKS I tell him " you don't have OCD so you really woulnd't understand and you would probably just take it personally so no, you can't know, and they arent important anyway" So my husband knows to support the condition but he doesn't need the details. He knows he's not to give me reassurance if I seek it ( I ask if everything will be ok a lot) he knows to give me space if I TELL him I'm feelings over stimulated. so my advice to you. try to tell you husband you should not have given him specific details, because OCD just feeds you untrue thoughts, and say you wont do THAT anymore but you just need support while you resist compulsions and do your work to get yourself better. OCD is brought on my stress. Being newly married is STRESS lol its fun and happiness and STRESS so just give yourself grace and time and you will get through it. I completely beat ROCD btw. you can too.,
@TexasOCD41 Thank you so much for this reply, it helps a lot! It also brings me hope (it can get very hopeless sometimes)
@Anonymous - Yes OCD is very isolating. Iv always heard if you don't have OCD you just cant understand it and iv found this to be completely true with everyone except my therapist. So I just don't try to explain OCD anymore, I just try to let my support gourp know how to help me ( don't let me compulse with them, be patient with me, distract me) stuff like that. devil is in the details with OCD so its best to just not go looking for them.
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or himā¦ For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know itās common but itās annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately weāve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncleās dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD Iāll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesnāt help enough and if this continues Iāll have to leaveā¦ itās so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didnāt think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesnāt care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So itās almost like Iām looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? Itās a constant cycle for me and Iām truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost donāt let myself depend on othersā¦. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ
Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesnāt need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!
Hi everyone, Iām really struggling lately and wanted to ask if anyone relates. Iāve been dealing with relationship OCD and possibly sexuality OCD, and things feel very overwhelming right now. Iām in my last year of university, studying something I donāt care about and never wanted to work in ā Iām only finishing it because of pressure from my parents. I feel totally lost about what I want to do with my life, and the pressure to find a job is intense, especially since my girlfriend (weāre long-distance, and sheās also my fiancĆ©e) is working and everyone around me seems to have it figured out. Every time I look at jobs or go to interviews, I get hit with anxiety. A huge part of it is fear: āWhat if I fall for someone at work? What if a guy looks at me and I start questioning my sexuality again? What if Iām not a lesbian at all and Iām just pretending?ā I also obsess over my feelings for my girlfriend ā āDo I really love her? What if weāre not meant to be? What if I donāt care about her as much as I should?ā These thoughts are intrusive and exhausting, but they feel so real. Even during good moments with her, I question everything: āDo I enjoy this? Do I really want this? Why donāt we have as much to talk about?ā Then I panic when I donāt feel āenough.ā Iāve also started to feel distant, and sheās noticed ā sheās mentioned that Iām not as flirty or close as I used to be. That makes me feel even worse. To top it off, I have magical thinking issues ā my therapist told me to avoid tarot, numbers, predictions ā but recently my best friend joked about reading tarot for my relationship, and that triggered a spiral I havenāt escaped from for days. Iām also judging myself constantly: āWhy did I text my best friend before my girlfriend? Does that mean I donāt care anymore?ā Even when I do things that feel natural, OCD throws doubt at me. I havenāt been in therapy for a month and I feel like Iām falling apart. Iām trying to live like I donāt have OCD, but itās so hard. I know some of this is probably OCDā¦ but it feels so real. If anyone can relate or offer some perspective, I would be so grateful.
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