Givenup
- Date posted
- 1y
Hocd
Im at a bar and its making feel like im not attracted to women, and making it feel like im noticing men constantly, when I dont ever want ti ever be attracted to men in any way...
Musicmarble Musicmarble
- Date posted
- 1y
Maybe you aren’t specifically attracted to those individual women, not the women in general. And it is 100% safe to notice the nice qualities in other men. Take a moment to admire them, it doesn’t make you gay at all, that belief stems from toxic masculinity. We should be able to admire people without fear of being attracted to them. Even if you find them attractive, you don’t have to “want” everyone. I have a similar situation (not very but you’ll understand). My coworker is a VERY beautiful woman. I’m bisexual, I’m attracted to both genders, and when I tell you that woman is pretty I mean omg she is so pretty. I was afraid that I would have a crush on her and make things weird because she isn’t just my coworker she’s my manager. I was afraid to even look her in the eyes for too long. But then I realized I’m allowed to admire her without actually having to have a crush on her. I let myself see her for how pretty she is and eventually forgot about the entire thing because I became dishabituated to her. Men can be very handsome. You aren’t required to be into everyone you find attractive
star1232star1232
- Date posted
- 1y
@Musicmarble And you do not have a fear of being lesbian?
Musicmarble Musicmarble
- Date posted
- 1y
@star1232 Not at all! I identified as a lesbian for a long time but then went back to being bisexual when I realized I do still like men, I was insecure back then and felt like since they were snubbing me (in middle/high school) I’d snub them right back. I’ve grown since then and don’t feel the need to do that anymore. However, in the beginning I was very afraid. Not of being attracted to girls, but about if my family found out and how they would treat me. Once I realized I liked girls I loved liking girls. But my family was religious and homophobic and it would really hurt if she found out and hated me. She did eventually find out, and she was upset at first but after talking about it for a long time and after having multiple heavy debates over the morality of the situation she warmed up to it. She was even pretty nice to one of my girlfriends. I never feared any religious consequences because I’ve been an atheist since I was a kid and regardless, the entire point of Jesus is a free pass to “heaven” no matter what you do apparently anyway. I’ve never been afraid of being gay. But I was afraid of men taking advantage of me so if anything I was afraid of being straight. I was afraid that I wasn’t gay after all. I used to fear that I would marry a woman just to spend my entire life yearning for the male affection I dreamed of in my teens. I was afraid to get close to men because I believed they would use me for my body or r word me.
jimmy88jimmy88
- Date posted
- 1y
Yo, I feel you. Bars can mess with your vibes, especially with hocd kickin’ in. It’s wild how our brains can play tricks on us, right? Just remember, those thoughts don’t define you—they're just thoughts. I’ve been there too, and tbh, using the Unstuck app helped me chill out a bit when my mind races like that. Take it easy and focus on what you actually feel, not what your anxiety is throwing at you. You got this!
Related posts
confused writer
- Date posted
- 25w
HOCD made you feel horn.y?
Like I feel geroinals ALL DAY and it’s stuck… I think I’m bi. But this still drives me nuts.
edimichael
- Date posted
- 24w
acceptance
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 22w
HOCD or not?
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
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