Givenup
- Date posted
- 1y
Hocd
Im at a bar and its making feel like im not attracted to women, and making it feel like im noticing men constantly, when I dont ever want ti ever be attracted to men in any way...
Musicmarble Musicmarble
- Date posted
- 1y
Maybe you aren’t specifically attracted to those individual women, not the women in general. And it is 100% safe to notice the nice qualities in other men. Take a moment to admire them, it doesn’t make you gay at all, that belief stems from toxic masculinity. We should be able to admire people without fear of being attracted to them. Even if you find them attractive, you don’t have to “want” everyone. I have a similar situation (not very but you’ll understand). My coworker is a VERY beautiful woman. I’m bisexual, I’m attracted to both genders, and when I tell you that woman is pretty I mean omg she is so pretty. I was afraid that I would have a crush on her and make things weird because she isn’t just my coworker she’s my manager. I was afraid to even look her in the eyes for too long. But then I realized I’m allowed to admire her without actually having to have a crush on her. I let myself see her for how pretty she is and eventually forgot about the entire thing because I became dishabituated to her. Men can be very handsome. You aren’t required to be into everyone you find attractive
star1232star1232
- Date posted
- 1y
@Musicmarble And you do not have a fear of being lesbian?
Musicmarble Musicmarble
- Date posted
- 1y
@star1232 Not at all! I identified as a lesbian for a long time but then went back to being bisexual when I realized I do still like men, I was insecure back then and felt like since they were snubbing me (in middle/high school) I’d snub them right back. I’ve grown since then and don’t feel the need to do that anymore. However, in the beginning I was very afraid. Not of being attracted to girls, but about if my family found out and how they would treat me. Once I realized I liked girls I loved liking girls. But my family was religious and homophobic and it would really hurt if she found out and hated me. She did eventually find out, and she was upset at first but after talking about it for a long time and after having multiple heavy debates over the morality of the situation she warmed up to it. She was even pretty nice to one of my girlfriends. I never feared any religious consequences because I’ve been an atheist since I was a kid and regardless, the entire point of Jesus is a free pass to “heaven” no matter what you do apparently anyway. I’ve never been afraid of being gay. But I was afraid of men taking advantage of me so if anything I was afraid of being straight. I was afraid that I wasn’t gay after all. I used to fear that I would marry a woman just to spend my entire life yearning for the male affection I dreamed of in my teens. I was afraid to get close to men because I believed they would use me for my body or r word me.
jimmy88jimmy88
- Date posted
- 1y
Yo, I feel you. Bars can mess with your vibes, especially with hocd kickin’ in. It’s wild how our brains can play tricks on us, right? Just remember, those thoughts don’t define you—they're just thoughts. I’ve been there too, and tbh, using the Unstuck app helped me chill out a bit when my mind races like that. Take it easy and focus on what you actually feel, not what your anxiety is throwing at you. You got this!
Related posts
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 20w
hocd
i have had intense thoughts and fears about being gay today and i have been sick to my stomach. it just stopped and now im scared im accepting it and im not freaking out. i feel like im okay with it. I AM NOT OKAY WITH BEING GAY.
youllwintheb...
- Date posted
- 17w
hocd
I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(
Mimo116
- Date posted
- 15w
I have HOCD,pls answer and share your opinion
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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