Psychosis/ Harm OCD?

Hi everyone, I am currently experiencing what I believe is an OCD flare up. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I primarily suffer from Harm OCD. I used to only experience it about once a year but since my second child was born, I am experiencing it a lot more and live with almost constant anxiety and maybe depression? So the new thing is that I'm afraid I am developing psychosis. I am scared to look at my oldest daughter (4yo) because it scares me when she spaces out and stares off into space, chooses the color red for anything, or has dark circles under her eyes (she has asthma and always has them). I guess the fear is that I will be one of the those psychotic moms (specifically like Laurie Daybell) and think my child is possessed and hurt her. It is literally hard for me to look at her and I feel terrified to be alone with her. On top of that, I have intense guilt because it seems to be more towards her than my youngest. Has anyone experienced something similar? What type of ERP was helpful? Looking for a therapist now but it is so hard to find one that understands. It's so hard to talk about. Thanks for reading.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 14w ago

I experienced this with both of my children. My oldest as a baby. I was afraid I'd hurt him. There was a terrible news story about a woman who put her child in the microwave and I wouldn't bring him into the kitchen for the fear.... my 2nd child I have other fears now and I am consumed by them. For me, recognising that it is ocd and not psychosis has helped. I am only just now seeking therapy but it has been debilitating at times and certainly affected my attachment with my children which creates a bigger cycle of depression, etc.

Username: Abys33Abys33

Date posted: 10w ago

@Anonymous Exactly this I know the case you are talking about I was having the same thoughts when alone with my baby. I was scared of it so I would do anything to go out & avoid being at home alone with my thoughts or else I would be puking & panicking. I was always a true crime watcher but after having my baby I can’t watch anymore they are tooo debilitating… no I understand why they have trigger warnings

Username: Lily Sh. Lily Sh.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w ago

I don't have kids but I had this exact theme (I work with kids all day) and was obsessed with a famous mom who went into psychosis. I did intensive ERP for this theme with my therapist here and that theme has left.

Username: Sharalanda_MontanaSharalanda_M...

Date posted: 14w ago

Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps me not feel so alone. If you don't mind me asking, what did your ERP look like. I've had a therapist in the past and she's never offered great suggestions for this theme.

Username: Lily Sh. Lily Sh.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w ago

@Sharalanda_Montana I have done things including read articles and watch videos of this woman (Andrea Yates), record scripts of my worst case scenarios and listening to them, sitting with children and feeling uncomfortable without resorting to mental compulsions (analyzing, ruminating). For me the core fear is hurting people and losing my mind. I have a new theme now but I'm over this one lol. If any of these sound triggering, please know that it took me a year and I worked very slowly through it with my therapists assistance. I couldn't even say her name out loud before ERP.

Username: Sharalanda_MontanaSharalanda_M...

Date posted: 14w ago

@Lily Sh. - She is one that bothers me too! Im so glad you've worked through this. I'm excited to do the same! Thank you for sharing!

Username: Sharalanda_MontanaSharalanda_M...

Date posted: 14w ago

@Lily Sh. - She is one that bothers me too! Im so glad you've worked through this. I'm excited to do the same! Thank you for sharing!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 12w ago

Oh man. I am so thankful to hear other stories like this. Mine is about the one who strangled her 3 kids 😭 I became obsessed to the point that I would vomit and cry at the thought. I thought I needed to check myself into the hospital but luckily I came across a reddit post that described what I was feeling exactly. I started a very low dose of medication and am seeing a therapist through NOCD.

Username: Sophie7007

Date posted: 5y ago

Harm OCD - intrusive thoughts help pls!! I’m on to a new obsession at the moment with harm ocd which is children related. I’m having similar intrusive thoughts people with children might have (fear of harming their kid) but because I don’t have children yet, it’s the fear that I will harm my own children when I eventually have them :( Does anyone else find it hard to differentiate what is general irritable with children when they’re being loud or something and what’s OCD? Like I feel like I’m gonna get really angry at a kid or something and do something crazy and it scares me so much but then it also feels like I actually want to do that to a child eventually, like I have some sort of plan :( Pls help, I’m not asking for reassurance but this obsession is really new to me. Coping mechanisms?

Harm OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

phycosis or ocd?

I am a mom struggling with harm ocd and really nad instrusive thoughts and I was doing so much better but came across the article about the mom killing her 3 children and learned she had phycosis I was diagnosed with ocd when i was 14 i am currently 30 and now im thinking this harm ocd and intrusive thoughts can lead to phycosis im afraid of not being myself and losing it. Anyone outfhere know what the difference between phycosis and ocd is?

Username: HopefulMama

Date posted: 1y ago

Mom with Harm OCD

Hi - I’m a Mom of 3 with Harm OCD. I’ve had OCD for a long time since I was a teen, prior to kids. It’s been harm/sexual orientation, etc. pretty much every theme at some point. My harm OCD got set off so badly by the Lindsay Clancy case back in January. It seemed to settle down for awhile and now is so bad again. I question if it’s even OCD at this point or if I’m actually an awful person wanting to do these things. I’m really struggling. The thoughts feel like urges and it’s all day long. I think of the case everyday wondering and trying to figure out if it was OCD that she had that turned into her losing control and feel sick to my stomach then panic that will be me. Any other Mom’s out there dealing with similar issues? Thank you.🤍

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