ERP goes against my values

So would you say you have recovered or does ocd still has hold over you. People say that OCD gets worse with age. Would you say that has been your experience?

@Waleed Good question. I would say that I’m 75% free of ocd. 3 years ago it was really bad. For me each day is a day to practice erp. I still have ocd things come up that are a struggle. But now I have the tools to have ocd be less of an influence in my life. I still do compulsions and I’ve learned to have compassion on myself and not be so hard on myself. It isn’t that I make an excuse for giving into ocd I just know it will happen and I move on. As for ocd getting worse with age. For me I feed ocd not knowing what it was since my 20’s. Being 64 now and doing erp these last 3 years has helped so much. We can retrain our brain to have ocd be less of an influence in our lives. It takes work but it is so worth it. I fully understand the struggle with wanting to do one more compulsion and the anxiety it causes but as we don’t do the compulsion and let the anxiety go down on its own we are letting ocd know that the thought is irrelevant. It is encouraging to see that ocd is treatable as we do ERP.

@LowellT I appreciate your input and I’m so sorry that you struggled for so long. I am not religious and my scrupulosity doesn’t have much to do with God or religion. More for breaking rules/laws/ethical considerations. My therapist made me intentionally do things I couldn’t bear and eventually made me come up with my own exposures because following the instructions was reassurance sleeking for me.

@sick&tired Thanks. I understand. Things I needed to do was if I thought I said something that I thought insulted someone I couldn’t ask them if I did. I had to live with the doubt of did I insult them or didn’t I. I called a lot of stores to ask for help and hang up without saying “thank you”. I know you can say “No” to ocd 👍

@LowellT Thanks for the detailed reply. OCD is such a chore😩 i am 19 and am thinking about how can you even live life with this illness. May i ask about your life in between the 20 and 60's. What did you think was happening to you when you didn't know about OCD or would you say you were able to live a succesful looking back?

@Waleed As for how ocd effected me from my 20’s - 60’s I’d I had - hit and run ocd - if I put my keys on someone’s wooden table I would say “I’m sorry I think I might have scratched your table - I would call people back to see if I hung up too quick if they wanted to say anything else - re-checking if a door was locked. OCD was there in a low key way but under stress it would be more annoying. I just thought it was something to live with. But 3 years ago it got really bad. When I started with NOCD and staring doing erp it was hard. But I gradually saw ocd had less of an effect on me. I know doing erp can be difficult but I know you can do what is needed to have ocd be less of an influence on you. If you are in a struggle with ocd remember this - you are not alone. I know what it’s like to want to do what ocd says and there many others who know and share the same struggle you have. You are not alone. It is really good you are able to get help with your ocd now. I know you can say “No” to ocd 👍.

@Anonymous More like deliberately breaking rules or conventions. What’s more, I started to think “oh a therapist asked me to do it, it must be okay.” It was like inherently reassurance seeking because I could always just say it wasn’t me who wanted to do this stuff, I’m just doing my therapy, I’m severely mentally ill and I’m trying to get better (like what other choice do I have). So because of that the therapist made me start coming up with my own exposures. So that’s the treatment for my OCD? Doing uncomfortable things against my values?