Is sitting through church hard for anyone?

I have terrible ocd. Lots of different subtypes but the one that bothers me most is religious ocd. The advice I've been given is to go to only one priest for confession (I'm Catholic) and to listen to his advice. I've been doing that lately and I'm actually taking his advice (like, for example, that if I committed a mortal sin, I'd know for sure.. When there's doubt about whether or not I've done smth wrong, it's likely not mortal and I can recieve communion). I've read that this is good advice for scrupulous ppl. So I'm finally taking his advice but it's so scary! My biggest fear is receiving the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin.. But I need to trust what the priest is telling me. Any other Catholics in this situation? I'm proud of myself for actually taking his advice but it's terrifying at the same time..What if I'm fooling myself and can't admit to myself that I actually did commit a mortal sin, but he sees it as doubt..like, I don't know if I'm doubting I've sinned or if I'm in denial about sinning.. If anyone knows what I mean..I also realize that full will needs to be involved in mortal sin and the presence of doubt is often a sign that even if I did sin, it wasn't fully willful so that's why it's not mortal.. But I'm still unsure and afraid. But that's probably cuz I have ocd and anxiety. Lol.. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.. And if it gets easier to listen to your confessor's advice even though it's scary and not what your OCD wants.

Anyone else struggling with reading their bible or having a certain feeling to feel like God loves them and if they don’t it ruins their whole time with God. Makes pursuing him really hard. Any tips ?

I've been doing more research on the ins and outs of Catholicism, and man are the guidelines very strict. They're not bad in any sense, and following them makes for a good person, but with ocd these guidelines seem near impossible to properly follow. For example, it's a mortal sin to have an impure thought, and commiting a mortal sin puts you in a state of sin. This means you cannot receive the eucharist (body of Christ) at mass, which is a way to connect closer to God. You have to confess in order to be free from mortal sin. This is fine and all, but this means in my case I'd have to confess almost every week, which can be so tiring. I'm not trying to bash on my own religion, but these guidelines make it so incredibly difficult for me to feel good about myself. Knowing I'm committing one of the worst forms of sin everyday. Intrusive thoughts are a constant thing, does that make me a child of sin? I even skipped mass today because I feel guilty about being in mortal sin, but skipping mass is also a mortal sin! I feel absolutely terrible about myself right now, and feel as if my connection with God has been cut and it's entirely my fault...