Is it normal to feel guilty for not finding my partner attractive initially?

I can totally understand what you mean. I had a very similar experience to you when I first met my partner. When I first met them, I didn’t find them immediately physically or romantically attractive. Instead, we hit it off as friends and gradually built our friendship (I say gradually but in reality it was about 3 weeks before we let each other know we had a crush on one another), and I also felt really guilty once we were a few months into our relationship because of not finding them immediately attractive in that typical way. But I think it’s important to note that attraction is not one size fits all and it can vary from person to person. Sometimes you might find someone immediately physically attractive, and other times, someone’s personality can amplify any amount of attraction that a person has, even if it isn’t a lot when you first meet someone. I don’t think that’s something to feel bad or guilty about even though I totally understand why you would feel that way because you don’t want to hurt your partner. I think the reality is, attraction doesn’t always make sense and sometimes our brains go off about certain people or things and not with others. That doesn’t mean you don’t find your partner attractive or that they were ugly when you first met them or anything like that. I think that just allows for people to have a range of experiences and knowing that you find him so attractive now is so cool because that means you aren’t dating him just for his looks either, it’s just a bonus (in my opinion). sometimes we meet people who may not fit exactly what we have historically been attracted to and that doesn’t mean anything about us as people, we are constantly having new experiences that open our minds up to different types of attractions. Also you got to keep in mind that society tells us certain types of people or traits are not attractive, and that can also influence our initial thoughts about people subconsciously or consciously. it takes actually stepping outside of that conditioning to realize we can find whoever and whatever attractive (obvs with some limitations cuz ew gross for certain things or age groups lol), but yeah! I hope this really helps!

Same here!!! I like my husband al first but then I started to feel “the ick” because he wasn’t my usual type and also he was veeeery emotionally available (I wasn’t used to it). In the beginning I had strong anxiety and didn’t feel se*ually involved, so my OCD latches onto this. Of course once my OCD got better I was able to enjoy the relationship and married him, but my intrusive thoughts focus on this topic.

Attraction is hind-brain stuff from a billion years of evolution. Looks like your real self eventually figured out who was actually a good match. It's easy to overlook that we're animals deep down.