Hey I feel like I just have this evil like whirring feeling of anxiety and like “something bad is gonna happen” and feeling you’re going to do things against God or like you already have I guess?
Have felt this so much in the past!!!
I’m glad I’m not the only one!
I have this too 😔
@Speckles I just have such a hard time because the more I ruminate about what’s real I find myself further from what I believe the truth is - if that makes sense?
@KelSul73 I think I understand what you mean. I just feel like a horrible person bc of my thoughts and that I offended God.
I totally get that- and not to invalidate your experience AT ALL- but please understand that SO many Christians with ocd have felt the EXACT SAME WAY! Including me! I know that makes me feel less alienated! I also remind myself of how many different perspectives there are in following God and what it seems that you’re feeling/thinking is more rules based religion type of Christianity- where as, after what I’ve been through with ocd, I want to pursue the emphasis of God in His Grace. I want to pursue the God I know that loves me as I am, exactly as I am- He knows every single thing about you and knows what your heart needs to heal
Meanwhile, even with all of that- God is still pursuing YOU! He loves you THAT much- I need to re-parent myself in Christianity as well where I need to remind myself that my parents did the best with what they had at the time. I want to sit in with the most important things God tells us- not to make sure we follow these rules perfectly, but to know that Jesus lived a perfect life as the ultimate example because His Father knew we couldn’t. I also know that we after many biblical scholars have studied the Bible in various ways, a lot of people think that ocd (without this name at the time obviously) was very prevalent in many people in the Bible! This has a been a great suffering for CENTURIES and know that Jesus loved those people perfectly too
Hey guys- I don’t know if any of you with religion/spirituality ocd struggle with the “unacceptable thoughts” about like evil and stuff but I’m struggling.. it feels like I believe that I want the evil stuff because I had demon-like voices in my head as ahead where I went to talk to God when I was experiencing great distress and then these evil thoughts came in and I let them in and like “ok-ed” evil stuff. Especially because I felt so forced into my faith journey as a kid so it’s like that “feeling rejected -> rebellion thing) but I also know that but I also have such fond memories of feeling so close to God to leaning on Him for so many things. It’s so hard because 90% of my memories as a kid, I struggled with severe ocd and no one knew what it was or how debilitating it could be I’m trying the ERP with these thoughts but😭 have any of you gone through the same things? It’s so strong In my mind because I know there’s actual spiritual warfare so I feel like - pray for me guys
OCD often makes me feel distant from God. I often feel unforgiven, unloved, and even hated. In my head I often view God as someone who hates me and who is always constantly disappointed in me. My relationship with him feels like an Obligation now more than a relationship. I’m always on the cusp of becoming an atheist, but I always draw myself back because I don’t want to give up my faith so fast, even if it’s been 4-5 years of living like this. I’m often at war with myself daily. There is never a day that I feel as though if I do one small thing whether it be buy something or eat something that I’m going to end up in eternal damnation. And even though I know it’s only OCD and it’s cognitive distortions, I still feel uneasy.
my ocd has really been taking its toll on me lately. i feel completely unloved by God. i use to feel it, but now i just kinda feel a hole. i talk to Him everyday, and read devotionals. i spend time with Him. i just can’t feel Him. i know a relationship with God isn’t based on feelings, but on faith. i guess my faith is running a bit low. i’m just tired and my thoughts get worse. it’s like a roller coaster.
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