Struggling with OCD thoughts about identity and self-presentation.

Why Does It Seem So Real?

Lately, I have been able to manage my OCD thoughts kind of. They’re still there but I kind of push them away? I know that pushing them away doesn’t help but it’s been my only way to survive. I get scared often about things like clothes or my voice or how I present myself. I get scared that I want to dress differently or act differently and it scares me. I know for a fact I don’t want boobs or anything like that, but my mind constantly is like “What if?” and it kills me. It has ruined everything for me. Sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror because I get scared that I won’t like what I see. I’ve also been afraid because I find myself relating to many female characters, or I want to act like them. Like Pearl from Steven Universe. I want to be graceful and elegant like her, but I don’t want to be a girl you know? My mind constantly pushes these thoughts of what if and images. Because I am not like most guys. Which I know is okay. It just freaks me out. It makes me question every aspect of my being. I know who I am, but I know that the only way to move forward is to accept that maybe I don’t.. It’s just a lot.

Username: Chelsea🌿🐝Chelsea🌿🐝

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4w ago

Pushing them away reinforces the fear. It’s resistance. What ifs are only a result of an anxious mind. The act of resistance will keep them coming back, because your brain is identifying it as a threat, due to your reaction of “oh no I don’t want this thought” Your reaction to a thought ultimately determines whether your brain labels it as a threat or not. if you can practice acceptance, (that it’s a thought, not that you accept the content ) it will eventually fade away. It takes a lot of practice though. But it can be done! The fear or woosh of adrenaline that we get from something, our brain cannot determine whether it’s a real threat or not. So our brain is simply trying to protect us from this thought/situation we are afraid of.

Username: KerraKerra

Date posted: 4w ago

@Chelsea🌿🐝 i dont want to be afraid and let the thoughts pass ive been so emotional because i honestly truly dont want it to happen

Username: Chelsea🌿🐝Chelsea🌿🐝

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4w ago

@Kerra - that's totally understandable. none of us want what OCD says to come true. that's what makes OCD so powerful sometimes. Radical acceptance has been a tool that has really helped me. it takes a lot of practice but it's worth it. there's great YouTube videos that explain how to implement it

Username: hanysm@gmail.comhanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 4w ago

Simply because your brain responsibility is to define reality for you. This post explains it more https://app.treatmyocd.com/community/posts/2033758

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 4w ago

When I met someone who is transgender, I started to get interested in the matter and after a while I started to wonder, if I'm trans, too. I wondered, if I like being female, or if I actually would be happier, if I lived as a male. I figured out, that my OCD latched on to that topic and the fear of being trans got less and less, till I stopped worrying about it completely. I am not what one would call the shining example of femininity - or that's at least my impression. I don't like handbags and shoe shopping. I only doll myself up for special occasions and I don't have an issue with getting dirty. I find having one's nails done all the time, or wearing fake eye lashes weird and the thought of - I am unable to do this/I shouldn't do this, because I'm a woman - never crossed/crosses my mind. In a nutshell: You don't need to be as must guys are to be a man.

Username: cato4

Date posted: 5y ago

I’m scared that I want to be a boy! I’ve been diagnosed with Harm OCD about 5 weeks ago and all of a sudden my thoughts have changed into me wanting to be a boy! I’m a 14 year old girl who’s never thought or wanted to be a boy before. I would rather the thoughts just go but sometimes the thoughts make me imagine life as a boy and it doesn’t seem that bad which then gives me anxiety because it makes me think that I might want to become a boy! I’ve always been a girly girl and loved dresses and makeup but ever since I’ve got the thought (which came out of no where) I’ve been avoiding makeup and avoiding seeing my friends! I get so scared that I might turn transgender and that I want to be a boy. Help. Is it ocd or am I trans?

"Pure" OCD

Username: Ben m

Date posted: 5y ago

When I was younger I always felt different but it was because I’ve never been a “tough guy.” This transgender OCD is killing me. There were only a couple girly things I liked back then. But, I’ve never been upset with my body or anything like that. I’ve always liked the way I looked, and my physical qualities too. I’m scared with the thought saying “maybe I’m just realizing this and I’m meant to be a female.”

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: aurokoi

Date posted: 4y ago

TW: GENDER OCD Okay, I posted a lil while ago about SO-OCD, but I have recently been suffering Gender OCD too. And unlike SO-OCD, this one is blowing a hole through my heart. I have never once questioned my gender. I’ve helped my trans and NB friends come out, and never once thought about my gender. But ever since my SO-OCD started and then died down, the thoughts about my gender cropped up. They range from two thoughts: I’m nonbinary, or I’m a gay trans dude in denial. And the latter one freaks me out so much, because I love reading queer media (I’m bi, and so many of my fave book series focus on gay couples), and my brain uses that as an excuse that I like it because I actually AM a gay guy. The thought is paralyzingly, and I can’t even begin to think of a way to overcome it like SO-OCD because the thought of me ‘accepting’ it as true scares the hell out of me. I can’t enjoy my favourite books anymore, or my favourite TV shows/movies. Anything with a gay couple makes my brain think I want to literally be one of them, when before I could just enjoy it for what it was, a story with queer characters. My connection to my gender is something I’ve always held dear to me, and the thought of being pulled from it is heartbreaking, and also makes me feel extremely guilty because I support trans rights so much, so why am I so scared of being trans/NB? How do I even begin to get over this when the idea of accepting the thought terrifies me? How do I begin to convince the anxiety that just because I enjoyed reading/watching something doesn’t mean I actually want it to happen in real life?

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Struggling with OCD thoughts about identity and self-presentation.

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