I think I need medication or brain surgery

The thoughts keep popping up in my mind I can't get a breake even as I type this I'm really stressed out because I'm so desensitized to this and it's scary like do I want the thoughts like I know I don't but why does ocd make you feel like you desire something when you DONT!! I've had thoughts like this before and they completely went away but I've never had thoughts like this long not like 4 days in a row usually when I have intrusive thoughts they go away just like that and im like ok thats disturbing but I guess with what's been happening to me brain is like nope you have to be this you want this nope you are this and I'm like OMG SHUT UP NO I DONT!!! I'm tired I don't want to give up I want my normal brain back

anxious artist

Date posted: 40w

The reason intrusive thoughts make you feel like you want them when you actually don’t is because of the pink elephant effect. trying to resist the thoughts makes them even more intrusive because the brain senses that your in danger and is trying to protect you. it’s not your fault at all, your just struggling with ocd and that’s okay, you just need to be patient with yourself as intrusive thoughts can’t randomly go away on a whim, a lot of practice with erp and therapy is involved to maintain the ocd as it can manifest in everything we are afraid of.

anxious artist

Date posted: 40w

But I can relate to the brain surgery aspect as well. I wish I could just have a complete brain reset that could allow me to live in peace without the existence of ocd in general

🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 40w

It happens when I wake up too its just like its there stuck in the back of my mind I try distracting myself from it like sometimes I draw or listen to music because that always helps me but it's worse now I was seeing a therapist but I got discharged because I didn't really think it was helping me at all so now I'm just trying to look for a psychiatrist but it's gonna be hard for me to open up about everything to them....

anxious artist

Date posted: 40w

@🐚🤍ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ🤍🐚 OCD can come in the beginning of the morning and late at night because those are usually the only times when your brain has just woken up or is ready to sleep, giving it room to ruminate and obsess over thoughts since it’s not busy or occupied yet. My advice is to find a ocd specialist that takes insurance pbecause a regular one isn’t going to be of much help like in my case. The psychiatrist I had previously was judge mental and cruel, even tried to pin the blame of my intrusive thoughts on me as if I did something wrong. I don’t believe some therapists should be treating patients with ocd if they don’t practice erp or have any background knowledge in training. The way to figure out if they are licensed in ocd is through asking questions about what sort of treatment they do because talk therapy does not help in the long run. Also, you don’t need to open up if you think the therapist you have currently is wrong, because even some of them truly don’t understand what it is about this disorder that’s so debilitating.

🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 40w

I wish it was that easy for me to just be like nope I know that's not what I want this isn't true everytime I did a compulsion but now it's like is it true am I this horrible person do I want this do I want these horrible disturbing urges do I want these thoughts? Like wtf

Catlove9

Date posted: 23w

I need guidance or to feel like I am not alone

I was doing so much better with my OCD. I thought I finally figured it out. However, the last two weeks have been a nightmare. It’s like I went from 0-100 all over again. And it’s become scarier than it ever has been. Every other thought is either causing me anxiety or turning into an intrusive thought. Any headache or feeling of derealization, and I start to spiral. My thoughts are becoming more gruesome and feeling more real. The intrusive urges are so bad it feels like at any moment I could actually just snap. It feels like I am about to go crazy. Another hard aspect is when I’m getting these intrusive urges it feels like I want to do it or I don’t care if I do it. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like this disgusting monster who is just going to lose it and I want it to be over. Why is this happening when I was finally better? It makes me feel like it’s not OCD and I’m actually this person and I’m just holding my true self back. I’m sick to my stomach.

rita555

Date posted: 22w

the compulsions and thoughts are consuming me

these days im feeling so bad, I can’t take it anymore, I have thoughts and images I don’t like that just won’t leave me, I feel so heavy, I want to bump my head into a wall until I pass out so I can have a break, I want my brain ti stop working and leave me alone, I can’t exist like this, I’m constantly thinking about this stuff and feeling disturbed, it just won’t leave, what do I do? sorry if this is written so badly but I really need to vent

laladracu

Date posted: 16w

OCD is through the roof

i am convinced im a psycho killer. everytime im around my mom or sister i get these intense thoughts of stabbing or hurting them. when they’re not around its not as intense but its still there. its literally on my mind 24/7. im so tense 24/7. were currently looking for a puppy for the family and when me and my sister were playing with them today the thought was still there. nothing distracts me from it. video games and EVERYTHING else doesn’t work. im starting to feel like i WANT to do these things. i was never like this until i had a marijuana induced panic attack in january. i feel like something happened to my brain and its not just ocd anymore. i dont even know if im faking it. i have suffered from relationship ocd, pedophile ocd, and health ocd. i got over those relatively quickly. this new theme came out of nowhere after a panic attack on a plane coming home from a horror convention in february. i dont see a way out of this one. its been months. i try to let them sit and i get a panic attack. all i do everyday is cry. i feel like my life is over. i talk to a therapist and i have tried two medications that didnf work work. i dont know how to live like this. im afraid im gonna lose my relationship and im afraid im gonna lose my whole life ahead of me. im just 22. i just want the old me back.

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I think I need medication or brain surgery

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