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Hi friend. It’s ironic, I literally just posted about a back door spike for myself. When it spikes, my morning anxiety sucks bad and improves as the day goes on. So, first you are not alone and we are with you. Second, because I’m very well versed in this - I’m not going to reassure you. I know how good it might feel to hear, you weren’t married, you weren’t even “exclusive”, etc… But, we know that any answer you hear will make you find something else because that’s how this shit works. All I can say is: we effing got this. Maybe, maybe not. OCD sucks. Really though, I’m going through all of the thoughts and doubt about mistakes I made 5 years ago befriending an acquaintance who turned out to be a very unstable, dangerous, & narcissist person (and wants to get back any anyone in his past). For whatever reason, my OCD is a bitch and has locked onto the thought of - he will destroy your life too. Mornings are the worst for me, but we have to push through it. Don’t wallow in it. Force yourself up and moving. Exercise, walks are great. Play with your kids and pets. Feel free to follow. I’m here to help.

Hi... You are not alone. This post could help you understand what is going on https://app.treatmyocd.com/community/posts/2040241