What’s the point if it’s all going to end

I started seeing every little thing as a sin. Or at least things that will bring bad karma. Everything, even little things like listening to music or enjoying a meal. In my eyes, everything everyone is doing is mostly sins and it terrifies me to death. It scares me to the point of paralysis and I can’t even do anything anymore because everything is a sin in my eyes. I’ll definitely spiral if I think about it more, but if I don’t, I feel like I’m lying to myself. I don’t even have confidence that this is OCD anymore. What if I’m right (I’m not necessarily wrong according to my religious doctrines, not that I’m a 100% sure) and nothings going to help me, not even therapy? And if most things humans do are sins anyway, what’s the point of anything? (See how it starts relating to an existential crisis) I’m terrified that no one’s gonna be able to help me anymore. I feel like I’m at wits ends. I don’t practice Christianity btw. Any insights or even “me too”s would help.

I have to say im struggling with my faith right now. I watch alot of Mark Dejesus videos but i find myself questioning everything. First i was questioning for a while now if theres free will and God doesnt interfere with our choices then what is the reason of praying, asking him things. If someone wants to kill me God wont come down and stop him, then what is the reason of me praying for protection? Other is the thing we say that "If God is with us who can be against us? What can man do to me?" Well the same they did to Jesus. Many people get tortured by others,r@pd,theres alot of things in this world, i dealt with this before, I know theres no answer for us cause we arent God, but still this statement that "what man can do to me" fails there cause i can still be afraid everyday that people will attack me and my family. And this is what i realized this time. Sadly im not much in a christian community, if i am im with people who has these basic answers but its okay we arent perfect, but my friends are unbelievers and we talked many times about faith and why i believe and what they told me just stick with me and now i feel like i understand. The thing is that whenever you have a problem like i said before someone is attacking you, you have an illness or any problem, even if you are christian or not you will have to do something alone. You have to face it, you have to act, and if you dont know what to do nobody will come down from the sky to lead you somewhere. And the problem is that lets take two people one who is a believer other is not, they had a problem both decided to so something about it, the non believer goes through it and he id happy about himself, the believer says "without God i couldnt do it" well the non believer did it without God. I see alot of times that things that christians say they couldnt reach without God, non believers do it without Him. And no i dont think every non believer should suffer cause they dont believe... but then the question is in my head, whats the point? Cause my non believer friends say they can see that this is just a perspective too, how you view things, and now i see it that it might be true... What if i just choose that i see it like this? Now i dont think that i will become an atheist soon, all my life i believed theres something there, even when i said no i was just fooling myself cause the next day i felt different. But im struggling with these questions cause i hear it everytime in christian communities to "trust in God, pray to Him, ask and you will get it" but its not true, theres free will and God doesnt change someones mind and many thing in this world is controlled by people. And call me crazy but i think science is so advanced right now that people can influence weather and make storms and tornadoes if they want to destroy a city. So yeah for me theres a God but i dont see the truth in what can man do to me and he will protect you just pray and ask him... My friends say im just believing cause i need to think something is there to protect me, or to give everything a meaning and maybe theyre right cause i cant explain why do i believe, i just do, but for people who are deeply hurted my a religion or they have problems and they can get through it without believing God, idk what to say them, why to believe... The basic "cause eitherway you will burn in hell" is not going to turn anyone to a christian... I hope some can take this and answer it kindly not attacking me cause i struggle with my faith or "im not a true christian" if someone says that i will ignore it. Thanks for your time.

I didnt wanted to post about this but it makes me really sad right now. This post will be about Christianity so if you believe in something else dont read it cause i will mention things that might trigger you. Im struggling with my faith right now and i feel like christianity might be the same like other religions and beliefs. I wont come with the "if theres a God prove it, i want Him to show up" thats ignorant, but i think about some things that keeps me stuck. Before christianity i was really desperate to find the meaning of life so i read about spirituality. Alot of people believe in that and live a peaceful life, cause that thinking makes you have positive behaviours cause they found a meaning. We say other religions are false things but then we say ours is true cause "we feel like its true". So its all about how you feel. Back then i just couldnt relate to spirituality and i found people who were liars and strange people, but we know christians can be that too, so i left spirituality cause it didnt made me feel good. But maybe if i wouldve stayed there and learn more, it generates the same feeling as i have now towards God and now i would say thats the truth cause i feel at peace and that im loved. Many spiritual people feel that, without christian beliefs. Non believers too realized a long time ago that self love is so important. So the problem is that i can never explain why do i believe, i always say "cause i feel that its real" well, if i would be so desperate to pray to a cat God and make myself believe everything I have is from that cat i would feel like its true. So my faith is about how i feel... which can be easily manipulated. And many times people said to me "its just a view, it makes you happy cause youre afraid that life doesnt bavw a meaning" and now i kinda feel like it can be true. Many will say faith is relational, but i can make that relation to anything, as is said if i think theres a big cat somewhere who loves me it can become relational... and then where all this ends it sounds like well God is with us but he doesnt do anything to intervene, you might now feel Him, we dont have any evidence, in the end of the day you just have to trust theres someone who will give you something after this horrible life. And that sounds like you want to give meaning to life. Maybe i didnt got the answers from the best christians, but it sounds to me like you jjst have to trust theres someone out there, and that belief will make you happier... But its the same with every other religion tho... Native americans believed in many Gods and it gave them meaning and a happy peacefull life. But we say thats false... why? Isnt our belief the same? I hope i get some loving anwers, cause im not trying to ruin anyones belief, im just struggling with my faith.