incest ocd is ruining my life

(TW: thoughts abt incest, sexual assault and r4pe) (english is not my first language, srry if this has any mistake) hello, i'm doing another post abt this and i hope that somebody can give me advice. well, i keep having these sexual intrusive thoughts with my old brother. thoughts that we are doing "you know what", that we're kissing or doing things that people in a romantic relationship do. i just hate this and wish it would stop, but its been 9 months that i keep having these thoughts every single day and i dont think it will stop soon. for some time now, i've gotten it into my head that he's in love with me too and that's been scaring me. i can't sit near him or be in front of him because i feel super uncomfortable. i think "he's looking at my ass" and then i think "wtf is wrong with me?". if i find a man pretty or have a crush on a celebrity, i think: "you only like him because he reminds you of your brother." i cant even look at his face anymore or touch him. when i go to the bathroom to take a shower, i think: "my brother's going to come in here and r4pe me" or that he will sexually harass me at some point, and i feel so AWFUL bc my brother would NEVER do something like that and i dont want this to happen. he's my brother and i love him so much, but not in the way my mind is telling me that i do. my OCD is like i have two voices in my head, one saying "you are in love with him and you want to sleep with him!!" and the other one says: "NO I'M NOT!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!". the second one is the one that represents my true opinion, but sometimes i dont know who is telling the truth and i keep doubting of myself, im so tired and im only 14 years old, this OCD is ruining my life and i cant live like that anymore. somebody, please, give me some advice abt how can i deal with this.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 37w

The problem with OCD is, that when we go by instinct and push the intrusive thoughts away by doing compulsions, like saying "No, I'm not!!!" it only strengthens OCD. When an intrusive thought pops up in our head and we push it away, he show our brain, that the intrusive thought is important and/or dangerous. This leads to our brain bringing this thought to our attention more and more. The only way to break that cycle is by not pushing it away. Here is one example of how to not push away an intrusion - in my case it's more often intrusive urges, than intrusive thoughts - with regards to my Harm OCD: OCD makes me feel an urge to stab my partner. My response is to think "Maybe I will stab him, maybe I won't." and I keep doing what I did when the intrusion popped up.

PinkPonyGurl

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w

If it helps I’ve learned that people who are so concerned about causing harm are the least likely to cause it. in my experience obsession around intrusive thoughts are because you’re just so concerned around preventing what you’re worried about from happening

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w

Hey I just posted this, I hope it helps you: Hey everyone I hope your OCD is going OK today. If not, this might help. Over the last three months I’ve been struggling with religious and social anxiety. I’ve been thinking “ i the problem” but instead you need to recognize that OCD IS THE PROBLEM NOT YOU! You must literally talk to your one say “ you know what ocd, that may be true, but I’m going to choose to believe the more positive outcome anyway because I don’t know.” And say it with sas. OCD has been bullying you your whole life, and it’s time you bully it back and take control! “Maybe. OCD! I don’t know 🤷‍♂️” In a way, make fun of the OCD, ( not yourself or the fact that you have it!” ) just try to patronize it by not caring what it has to say and pretending you do like “ okay whatever you say OCD👆🤣!” Hope this helps!! Happy thanksgiving !

Legends123.

Date posted: 23w

Please help

Hello everyone, forgive my bad English since it is not my native language, I have been suffering from OCD for 6 years now. It started with being afraid of harming my loved ones and soon it escalated. All of this leads us here towards sexual obsessions. I was abused many times when I was a child. I don't know if that had any impact on my sexual issues. so everything lead up to a intrusive tought of what would happend if i touch myself with a picture of your parents" and I ended up paying attention to the intrusive tought and i ended up doing what my intrusive tought told me so i said to me "OCD would make me touch myself for everything i loved so what, i would do it before the anxiety attacks" and I end up in a spiral of having touched myself by several photos of my family members, friends and even my own therapist all wanting to prevent future compulsions and anxiety now I only think about taking my life, I never wanted that to happen I am not a monster who has sexual desire towards my loved ones I fell under my own intrusive thought and the only thing I think about now is taking my life life for what I've done

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

Need help, PLEASE +18

I got diagnosed with OCD (variant POCD) about 3/4 yeats ago. Lately I've been really confused and makes me uncomfortable this ideas that I've had dreams in my sleep where I have romantic/sexual interactions with my older sibling— I know it's disgusting, and I don't know what to do. Recently I got a boyfriend after years of being without a partner, and he makes me so happy along my friends, but sometimes at random points of the day I have this episodes with minors or my sibling, and the ones with him start to go heavier when I'm at home or alone. The first thing that comes to mind for me to do is always how much I don't wanna live, harm myself or what is my purpose at this point (22fem) having this problems. I feel weirded out when I pass them over, and suddendly think about not giving them the atention because how important they are in a negativa way. I'm just anxious writing this, I need help. Is someone living the same? How do you work on it? I will always be like this from now? — thanks in avance and sorry for mistakes, english isn't my first language

melissag

Date posted: 11w

Can’t take it anymore help

A couple of days ago I felt asleep on the coach, and it was 12:50 am when I woke up, so I had to go to my room which is in the other floor (my room is in the first floor and the living room is in the second floor, the architecture is weird but my house is a duplex apartment), in order to go to my room I had to walk through the hallway and my 12-year old brother’s room is nearby, so I felt a lot of anxiety and I was recording a video as proof that I didn’t do anything wrong, the problem is my video wasn’t sent, so I didn’t have proof, reassurance, but I still went downstairs to get to my room, I don’t know what to do, frankly I don’t wanna continue, please can someone help me, I think this is false memory ocd and sexual ocd, but please please help me, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t study I can’t focus on Anything else but this, and my mind really thinks I have done something to my brother, that I have raped him or that I have sexually abused him, I seriously can’t stop thinking about that, and whenever I focus on something else, my mind tells me that I shouldn’t focus on anything else because how can I? “If you rape your little brother you shouldn’t focus on something else” and my mind also thinks that I shouldn’t stop thinking about this because If I stopped my memories could become blurry or could seem like very far away memories, and I wanna have clear memories. Please please help me , I honestly don’t wanna go on, don’t wanna live anymore. I live in Peru, so there are not many expert therapists about ocd or false memory/ sexual ocd, please help

False Memory OCD

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incest ocd is ruining my life

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