Unsure if this is compulsive behavior.

Guys, I would like help with maladaptive daydreaming and impulsivity. What would both be in OCD? I've always had daydreams. But it was something I did because I liked creating stories. But recently I've noticed that sometimes when I'm stressed, if I think about a situation, it feels like I'm going to imagine it or want to imagine it. When I say don't do it, it feels like it's basically going to happen. I talked here the other day about what if I try to create a compulsion to get out of my subject? Yesterday I was so anxious and I did this counting thing. Then it came to my mind, "put something like, if you don't do this, someone will suffer harm." And I don't want that. And I don't even want to create this compulsion because I would know that it would be worse because I would never risk it. But the thing is, even though I had a clear idea, it seemed like I was going to do it. I just wouldn't let it happen. Is that daydreaming? Is that impulsiveness? This has happened to my OCD theme before. But I had the feeling that I wasn't taking things seriously. That I was being childish. But I don't do it on purpose, it seems like I can't get out of the habit. Thanks for the help!

There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.

Hello, everyone. This is my first time posting on here, so I am very grateful for any insight or feedback that I may be able to receive. For decades, I have battled with what I can best describe as a compulsion to reset/restart my life and personality, and it is very hard to manage. While the timeline had varied and evolved over the years, on average, I have “reset” myself every week or so for about twenty-five years (I am currently thirty-six). Resetting has evolved over time, too, but it involves a lot of time devoted to putting things back to a baseline with my phone, computer, car, odometer, clothes, etc., as well as performing a lengthy ritualistic sequence of events the following day. These things allow me to mentally reset myself as though I am a character in a show, and the next morning is the first scene of the first episode. I tweak parts of my personality, and of course none of it ever sticks. I will purposefully put off progress in work and my personal life in order for those things to be credited to the new me with my upcoming reset. I’ll finally start exercising and dieting properly? Nope - I have to wait for the next reset. I’ll finally clean the house and be productive? Nope - next reset. I’ll knock out these work projects I’ve been putting off for a long time, or these personal projects I’ve always wanted to do for years - just kidding, wait for the reset. Naturally, every single time I reset, I am convinced that this is the final reset, and will be the permanent me…rinse and repeat thousands of times. Of course, very few of the things I put off for a reset actually happen for longer than a day or two, and then it’s back to delaying. It’s supremely frustrating. Anyway…does anybody have any sort of similar experience or insight? I’m having a hard time communicating it, but the impact of it over a quarter century now is pretty maddening.