urgent help needed

Hi everyone, I’m reaching out here because I know this community understands the daily battles of living with OCD. Recently, I hit a really dark place and tried to take my own life. It’s been hard to admit, but I’m still here, and I’m trying to find a way forward. OCD feels relentless sometimes—the intrusive thoughts, the constant doubt, the cycles that never seem to end. It became so overwhelming that I didn’t see a way out. I know I need help, and I’m working on reaching out to professionals, but I also wanted to connect here. To those who’ve been in a similar place: What helped you keep going? How do you manage the darkest moments when OCD takes over? I feel like I’m holding on by a thread, but I’m holding on. Any advice, words of encouragement, or personal experiences would mean so much to me right now. Thank you for reading this, and for being part of a space where we can be honest about our struggles.

Username: ElevenBElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8w ago

OCD is relentless. This is just my personal experience. I went into a mental health facility, started meds and started seeing therapist at NOCD. I would just sit with the thoughts, depression, anxiety and do the ERP therapy. I stopped trying to figure out what all these things meant and just accepted the uncertainty of not knowing. I went about my day even if my mind was screaming at me and my emotions were all over the place. As I continue ERP and just keep going about my day things are improving.

Username: Someone99Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8w ago

Hi! And thank you for being courageous enough to share this with us. I was in a similar situation in 2018 and had an attempt. Mine was because mistakes I made, people I hurt. My OCD played out extremely horrible scenarios in my mind, condemning myself as extremely as possible, and I shut down almost unresponsive for 2 weeks after. What I can say is that as dark as it may seem at this moment, there is hope. Focus not on the darkness, but on the light, which may seem very dim at the moment. Allow yourself to experience forgiveness towards yourself and others, and others towards you if that's the case. My relationship with my wife and children is stronger now because I don't have to hide behind the mask I wore for so many years. I remain in a low dose of antidepressant, and keep up with ERP therapy, and counseling. God is good. I wish you all the best and hope you share your journey with us. :-)

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 8w ago

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please just know that you are not alone- I’ve been there quite often, it’s not easy. Some days are harder than others and then there are the days that you had, which are unbearable and I know none of the stuff you have learnt about handling OCD appears during these times. I wish I could give you advice but I’m trying to figure it out too. You just have to remind yourself in that moment that you have got through worse before and you can do it again. You have to distract yourself in the moment and focus on the present (as in right that moment, go out for a walk, go outside breathe some air) because when you’re inside in that state everything weighs so heavy I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help I just commented so you know there is someone else who has experienced this feeling because of OCD. You are so loved I promise

Username: OCDisAwful1204OCDisAwful1204

Date posted: 8w ago

I’m really struggling right now too. I’m feeling like I can’t keep going on like this. Idk if the thoughts are OCD or if they are real. I experience a little anxiety with them but the other part of me feels like I agree with them. I’m scared, sad, confused.. just lost. I’m not sure what to even do anymore. Feels like there’s no hope to ever get better.

Username: Evieb123Evieb123

Date posted: 2d ago

i knoww i aboslutly hate OCD

Username: Iamnotmythou...

Date posted: 24w ago

Need advice for Suicidal/Harm OCD obsessions

I am typing as I sit on the couch after a mental breakdown due to the frustration and fear I have with my Suicidal OCD intrusive thoughts. I know so much about why this is happening from therapy, research, and self help books that I feel like knowing this much about my condition is almost making it harder to recover. It’s like I feel like since I logically understand my problem, why can’t I change my response to it? I know logically that these thoughts are stuck in a loop because I have assigned meaning to them and am so scared of the concept of harming myself, yet ERP/CBT hasn’t yet helped much with my ability to tolerate the anxiety. I have moments where I feel good but the sense of impending doom and feeling like I “am bound to hurt myself” always comes back. At least for the last 2-3 months since this theme and OCD flare started. I don’t have any physical compulsions that me or my therapist have been able to identify except *maybe* researching too much. But other than that, my compulsions are all mental. However, I can’t pinpoint what exactly they are. It’s also important to note that I don’t avoid anything. I still use knives when I need to, I don’t hide them like others with this theme do. Yes they can trigger anxiety but I don’t actively avoid them or other items that trigger/have potential to harm me. When I do audio exposures (listening to my voice saying I am going to hurt myself), I hold a knife to my wrist to intensify the ERP, per my therapists request… and still the same or similar level of fear behind suicidal and harm OCD thoughts is there. Has anyone dealt with this and can help provide some insight as to what helped you? Anything is helpful here except negativity.

Username: AnonUser

Date posted: 23w ago

Tired of living in fear and questioning everything

I’m tired guys. I’m tired of thinking something is always wrong with my health, tired of letting random symptoms/ sensations take over my brain and make me think something is horribly wrong. Tired of thinking I need to go to the doctors to get X & Y looked at. I’m tired of always assuming worst case scenario. I’m tired of constantly thinking if something is unethical/ immoral if I don’t do something, tired of always thinking I’m offending a religious higher being, tired of thinking I’m a bad/ disgusting person for my thoughts. I’ve had OCD ruin so many things for me that should have been fun. It’s ruined intercourse/ intimacy because of religious thoughts, or I keep thinking about STDs/ infections. I’ve been having panic attacks lately, something I’ve never experienced, because of life changes and it’s all gotten in the way of my structured life and it’s been very uncomfortable. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in danger, or nothing is real. Right now I’m fearing the most that I’m losing my mind, who I am, and I’m just so scared of my mental health getting worse and going manic or developing a dangerous mental illness. My mental health has NEVER been this bad. This is all new and it’s so scary. I was just fine a few months ago, sure I was dealing with other OCD stuff, the intrusive thoughts, the fears, the repetitive actions just to make sure something is the way I want it/ brings me comfort. But ever since my structure was changed/ ruined, it’s all been downhill. I just finished an EMT program, and that messed with me. Saw/ experienced things I’ve never done before and man, it’s really messed with me. Working on getting a new job in healthcare but still don’t have insurance so getting a new OCD specialized therapist has been difficult. Can someone relate just so I don’t feel like I’m crazy?..

Username: OCDwontwin12...

Date posted: 22w ago

I just need to know I’m not alone

My ocd convinces me that no one else has the ocd thoughts I have. I am newly PP and had an intrusive thought about my baby that sent me into the worst panic attack imaginable. I went to OBGYN and she said “but you aren’t having thoughts about harming yourself or the baby right?” I had to lie. I obviously didn’t want the thought, it’s my biggest fear. But how can we be honest with our doctors without being locked away. I had visions of them taking my child from me or me being locked away and now I’m just spiraling. I went down the rabbit hole for sure. How do we know what intrusive thoughts we can tell our doctor/therapist??? If I can’t share what’s going on in my head, then how am I supposed to know that I am not alone 😭. I want to find a therapist on here to work with but my ocd convinces me that no one else has struggled with what I have for some reason or that my ocd is “different” and I’ll be reported. This is miserable. Can anyone else relate? It’s like it convinces you that you are the “worst case” & what If it’s not even ocd. This has kept me from getting the therapy I know I need. Hope someone can give me some insight…

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