urgent help needed

I just completed a check in with my therapist today so naturally I reflected on my journey with OCD. Summer/Fall of 2023 feels like a swath of darkness. Bombarded with horrible intrusive thoughts, I thought my life was over. I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hated myself. Life lost meaning for me and it felt as if every hope and dream was shattered. Needless to say my life was lost to me during a time when I should have been enjoying it the most. I was post grad with a good job lined up. But none of it mattered- my mind was as broken. Thank God, I had some small voice in me that urged me forward and to get help. So I did. I felt so scared and unsure. Was I doing the wrong thing going to therapy? I was not. It was the best decision I made for myself. Fast forward to nearly two years later, my life couldn’t be more different. I see and feel the light. I have so much love and gratitude for myself and for everyone who helped me along the journey. My therapist, my family, all the brave content creators who openly speak about their experiences, no matter how taboo. I won’t lie, it was a lot of work. And I had to learn to be uncomfortable and deal with frustrations. I had to learn to trust myself. I still deal with sticky and intrusive thoughts but my response and my daily life despite them can not be more different. So I am here to be proof to you that there is so much hope. If you don’t have the little voice in you urging you forward, than I will be just that. Go to therapy, get help, put in the work. It is so worth it. Every time there is a setback, and there will be many, push through. Feel free to ask questions! But no reassurance will be given.

Trigger Warning: Suicide I’m 21(Female) just for reference Anyone else struggling with OCD so much to where you feel so isolated, confused, burnout, suffering & in astonishing emotional pain & agony. I promise yall aren’t alone in the feelings. I promise you there is someone going through similar, obviously our lives aren’t identical, but our struggles can be very similar. It’s even harder dealing with trauma, split parents, abusive parent(s), a sick parent at the same time as all of this. It feels like God or the universe just WANTS you to struggle. Like it’s punishment for something you did as a kid or teenager. I’m dealing with all this exactly. Sometimes I just want support. So I hope this message can be support for someone struggling too & hope it helps them be able to breathe a little easier & gives them strength to go on another day. I just would like to mention if you have access to therapy take advantage of it. The therapists are not there to judge you but I promise it’s a them issue & you’re not a horrible person. When I used to think of suicide often I started to think less “doomsdayish” & realized that I wont know how my life will turn out if I just give up. If you give up you won’t ever know. Whether your situation will improve, & all the fear in your heart just gone. You could miss out on that freedom and happiness you’ve been waiting for in this current life we are living. One last thing I want to point out that I’ve thought about is that we don’t know how many more people are out there struggling with this. I think they’re maybe afraid of judgement. Basically what I’m implying is I feel like there are so many others out there who don’t want to speak up & are struggling with this. Everything on their conscious being afraid to even write it down. I just feel in my heart that there are others who keep these issues to themselves. I think I feel it in my heart because that was me once. Feeling like my story was different, afraid at thought of even telling a stranger(therapist) who could judge me. I did not want to be perceived badly. I’m 21 years old & wish I had the courage to speak up sooner I feel like I could’ve started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel sooner but that’s okay. Speak up for you, you do not have to wake up in fear everyday or contemplate suicide everyday. Even if it feels like you’re your only cheerleader. Sending a virtual hug to all because I know what it’s like to just want to be held & told that everything is going to work out. you never know what others are going through, be the person who isn’t afraid to extend your heart to others, try & breathe a little more, take care of yourselves, remember you aren’t alone no matter your situation, stay strong To the suicidal person reading this, you’re resilient & strong. Sending a virtual hug❤️.

I am FINALLY starting to (somewhat) recover from this last existential spiral, which admittedly, was probably the cruelest my OCD has ever been to me. Only thanks to you all. You were all able to provide me with kindness, understanding and support… without the kind of reassurance that feeds OCD, of course. When I downloaded this app, I was genuinely terrified. I was so scared that I was permanently doomed to the endless whirlpool that is the thoughts produced by my own brain and that life as I knew it was over, that I would never be happy again. For anyone who might be feeling that way right now, your OCD is LYING to you! Whatever you may be going through, it CAN get better. As hard as it may be right now, HAVE FAITH! Get up and do that thing you want to do in spite of the fear and discomfort. Take the fear with you like a whiny, unwilling toddler and do it anyway. Watch the movie, read the book, order that takeout you’ve been craving, bake the cake, wash the dishes… Please do it anyway! It will be hard at first, I won’t lie. But the OCD part of your brain, like a toxic partner, WANTS to win. It wants you to give up on those things that you love, all those things that make you happy so that there’s no space for anything but itself. Don’t let it win. The more you push yourself, the more you rewire your brain to realize that as much as it may feel like, the obsession doesn’t matter! Thanks to you all, even without therapy (YET - I’m starting that journey on Tuesday because there’s still a lot to unpack, and I know that OCD won’t just magically go away), I was able to get a basic understanding of ERP and learning to sit with discomfort and how to live life in spite of it, rather than letting it take over my very being. So for that, I thank this community. I think I would be in a very different place right now if it weren’t for the people I’ve met here who truly understood my experiences. I hope you have a wonderful day. Please don’t give up. You deserve to be happy, no matter what your brain is telling you ❤️