Callista Moore

Date posted: 35w

Why?

Why do our brains do this? Like how is it this part of us that tries to convince us that we’re scum and want to do bad things? How is this even possible? Why does it produce fake feelings and sensations. The groinals get talked about but I feel like the other emotions and feelings this can produce doesn’t get spoken about. I’m so tired of my brain. I’ve seen people say it’s my brain trying to be helpful and misfiring but that just cannot be true. None of this shit is helpful.

Nica

Date posted: 35w

You won’t be able to figure this question out—not even science know with full certainty why humans have mental illnesses and disorders, so though it’s hard, you have to let this question go and start working on getting better instead of focusing on a question that you cannot answer.

Callista Moore

Date posted: 35w

@Nica So just a quick question, do I just forget the thoughts? Every time I test the thought I get a response I don’t want and it sets me back. So how do I move forward knowing that I’ve had these thoughts and these feelings without trying to get a different response from the thought? If that makes sense.

Nica

Date posted: 35w

@Callista Moore You need to let the thoughts, images, and feelings be there without hiding or fogging against them. It’s mindfulness and it is recommended by therapists. You need to not interact with your OCD or any mental illness and go about your day as if nothing is wrong. The more you pay attention to your PCD, the worse it gets.

OCDWarr1or

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 35w

I assume it's our brains trying to protect us from things it sees as possible threats. That seems to make sense for most of my themes, but I agree. Sometimes it makes no sense. It just freaking sucks.

Callista Moore

Date posted: 35w

@Anonymous Yeah I wish it made sense but it absolutely doesn’t, this wasn’t something I ever thought about or feared and it producing feelings of “want” and groinals and false excitement is not helpful lol. Where is the damn reset button.

OCDWarr1or

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 35w

@Callista Moore Yes, I see what you mean. That doesn't make sense. I haven't experienced those symptoms before.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 35w

I feel the same. How is my brain protecting me by putting horrible thoughts in my head and telling me i’m a horrible person? That’s not logical to me at all.

Callista Moore

Date posted: 35w

@hopefulxmess There can’t be logic behind it. It tries to warp your perception and it’s like laughing at you while it does it.

Lolitamoon

Date posted: 35w

This is me as well it makes me feel really horrible like i get so scared that i would feel that way about something and then it actually happens it makes me feel so guilty its horrible

Lolitamoon

Date posted: 35w

@Lolitamoon Even though i dont feel that way in the slightest it makes me feel sick

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 35w

Hi, Here's my theory on why this happens: our brains have limited memory capacity. Periodically, often during sleep, a mechanism sorts through our memories to decide which to keep and which to discard, much like a "memory maid." When this maid encounters a memory related to your values, loved ones, faith, health, etc., it brings it to your awareness for a decision. It doesn't want to delete anything important. If you don't react to such a memory, it's safe to discard; if you do react, it's kept. In the case of OCD, this mechanism might activate while you're awake, possibly due to lack of sleep or poor sleeping habits. It presents these memories for your consideration. People with OCD struggle to make decisions about these memories, leading the brain to generate more "what if" scenarios in an attempt to help. Unfortunately, resisting these thoughts often makes the mechanism more persistent and the brain generates stronger sensations to prompt a decision. This creates a cycle that leads to distress and anxiety. I hope this explanation helps. Essentially, OCD can be seen as a disruption in the brain's memory recycling process.

Callista Moore

Date posted: 35w

@hanysm@gmail.com I like this theory. I just don’t understand the memory aspect because this wasn’t a thought or fear until it was a thought and a fear. But I guess now it’s the memory of the thought and the reaction I gave it.

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 35w

@Callista Moore Let me explain. Usually those thoughts related to experience like something you said, did, heard, touched, etc. this experience occupies a memory, then when the "maid" opens this memory box, you show a reaction by feelings afraid or sad. That's the trigger to the maid to help you by generating this "what if ..." Usually if no decision is made, the whole thought is preserved and comes up again, because the maid needs to finish its job, which is clearing those memories. Make sense?

Mike6060

Date posted: 35w

@Callista Moore - Hello - if I can add...I think thoughts that are emotionally negative for us need to be resolved through this "safety" measure; the built in defense mechanism (the maid) that evolved to be more than just imminent danger to protect us. The thing with OCD, we are inclined to obsess especially when we don't have answers right away or don't necessarily get satisfied when answers present themselves because of the sense of uncertainty we feel and the "what ifs". The more we obsess about certain thoughts, we create a habit of thinking about them and they circulate in our thought pattern until we can resolve it. Not to say, avoid thinking about them to prevent thinking more about them; it's just how the brain works apparently (through creating and refiring of neurological connections) and we know resistance could be counterproductive. Mindfulness is helpful in the present - before a resolution is finally made, because we essentially look at the thoughts with minimal judgement thus an emotional response is halted on the mental level of emotion ("this is good or bad") and in turn, the physiological level of emotion (stress response). I think we may need to build some tolerance to fear/discomfort while we are working on resolving the underlying cause of the fear. Of course, if we are open to medication, that helps with the stress response or the physical part of the anxiety and in turn we can bear the fear better. Also, I find working with the OCD or anxiety instead of against it is helpful; not obeying to the compulsions but not making OCD or the fear an enemy. That is, learning to understand what is going on and work towards mitigating it. Mentally, we have to work on the uncertainty of what we are worrying about. Perhaps that’s what NOCD can help us with and to the point of mitigation, ERP therapy. The “reset” button I use is the acknowledgment that I am not what I think and I am not the feelings of the sensations; this separates me -and- puts distance from my thinking and behavior. Whatsmore, focusing even for a moment on me as a soul since that's what I truly am, grounds me and I can reset or start again; even refocusing on something else for the time being. With compassion, Michael

Mike6060

Date posted: 35w

@Mindfulness6060 - Side question: How do you get your photo in your profile? I only see the option for Avatars.

Callista Moore

Date posted: 35w

@Mindfulness6060 Under edit profile I get the option to pick an avatar or select a photo to upload!

Viny

Date posted: 35w

it is our brains misfiring. Basically I see it as a malfunction of our natural instinct for self preservation. So it misfires creating the anxiety and a warped scenario

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 24w

:( my brain is so mean

I’ve been doing okay, I’ve been a bit emotionally numb honestly. I’m stressed, tired, and just ugh. I was talking to my bf about exs and he was making a joke. An immediate comeback came into my head and for a second it felt fine. I was smirking. I felt like I was about to say this. It was a terribly mean thing that attacks things he’s told me in confidence that he’s insecure about. A comment comparing him to an ex. He saw when it hit me because I was genuinely too shocked for it to not be apparent. I had such a strong urge to confess, but I couldn’t because it was *so mean*. He’s been numb too and we honestly seem to hate each other in a loving way, and that’s somehow comforting. So, he pushed me to confess out of curiosity. I ended up telling him. He didn’t care but I’m still in so much distress. Had it been a moment where he wasn’t apathetic, had it been then and I spoke without thinking, I’m sure he would’ve cared, I know it would’ve hurt him. I feel so shocked at the cruelty my mind creates. I don’t even know if this was intrusive because I energized and felt good until a few seconds later when it felt like I got ice water thrown at me from the shock. I genuinely could’ve said this and I know there’s no point in dwelling on it now but it’s still so scary. I can’t seem to breathe properly right now. I feel so panicked. I haven’t had a panic attack in almost a week. My brain is a bully. I don’t want it to be apart of me. I feel so awful for having that thought and I feel like I’m drowning.

Vee4

Date posted: 17w

Rant

I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

My brain hates me (18+)

It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.

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