Feeling like I have to tell my gf everything

Thank you for being brave enough to share this, I also deal with this! I didn’t really know how to put these thoughts and feelings to words until I read your post so again, thank you. I’m 28 F and my girlfriend is 29 F. We’ve been together almost 2 years she’s also very smart, kind and empathetic. I feel like I have to tell her everything I’m thinking or else I’m lying to her as well 😭 I heard in a podcast that OCD always attacks the things that we hold dearly / are most morally important to us

Same, I’m so sorry. I actually posted about this recently. The guilt from trying to not overshare is hell. I’m this way with my bf. I’ve tried to be more vague so I can gradually get to the point where I don’t have to share everything. Confessing is also one of my biggest compulsions which I think goes hand in hand with oversharing. I’ve had to ask him to not let me confess because it makes my OCD worse. I’ll say “baby, I feel really overwhelmed right now. I really want to confess.” Instead of straight up confessing. He’ll tell me not to and it deters me enough. Still struggling honestly. Much more now that my OCD has flared up immensely. I’ll confess discreetly or I won’t even warn him by saying “I want to confess.” That’s my fault, I shouldn’t do that but it’s so hard. I have to tell him every single freaking thought, joke, feeling, mistake, intention, almost-thoughts. Everything. It’s exhausting. Sometimes it helps to remember our partners have a million thoughts too, and they don’t share every single one. Before my OCD diagnosis, that fact would make me sad and upset. I wanted to know everything. But after realizing that was the OCD in me and it’s perfectly fine and acceptable to not share every thought bc more than half the thoughts we have a day don’t have any meaning, I look up to him for having the ability to keep to himself. We put way too much meaning on our thoughts. It’s probably why we feel so compelled to share every single one. I don’t have much advice, but you’re not alone 🩷

i totally have felt this way as well! as i work with my therapist, we identified that a core value of mine is "honesty" which sounds like it is for you too! the best thing i have heard from my therapist is that my ocd is actually lying to me, therefore i would be lying by confessing my intrusive thoughts! (took me a while to think on this but it is actually so true!). also, a core part of ocd is the overimportance placed on our thoughts, which can make them feel so real and difficult. practicing self-compassion is also so important here! i like to validate myself in times like this and remember why confessing is something that fuels the cycle of ocd, and will only allow it to continue if i do confess. you are stronger than you believe and braver than you think! and you are not alone in these feelings!!!